The Dark Age
***Some Very Matured Theme. You've been warned.***
Some people may have remembered this... But back then, when it was around 2013-2014, youtube was the gold and dark age. Yeah. Gold for those people who seek free fucking porn without paying anything. Well, there was Pornhub, buuuut youtube was better. Dark for those people, like me, who accidentally or suddenly got shot by the eye of horrible yet sensual videos of others humping or having sex. Guess what I hit me. I bet you were wrong. It was Gay people having sex. Ice cream dessert complication or compilation, whatever you call it. Female X Teddy Bear. Gosh, this, already miserable, little ten-year-old kid got punched in the eyes full of sinful sights. UNSUPERVISED. My mother caught me watching them because I didn't clear up the watch history, and I was using my mother's phone. Haha, she said, "Don't watch this anymore or else..." that threat didn't stop me. I bet she already forgot about it. I liked the Teddy Bear one though, it was hilarious and erotic for some fucking reason. Of course, no one knew this; not even my friends knew this... Only you and me, my friend. Fuck. You know, right after I got my phone, I've searched them up again. It's gone now. THANK YOU, 2016. And thank you, youtube, for you had ruined my mind. Thank you for bending my sexuality. I partly blamed you for this.
Well, being an Otaku may had been the reason as well. How should I put this...? I watched anime since TV was born, I mean since I could touch a remote. Okay, when I was one and a half years old. Man, I loved all the shoujo genre back then. Before, it was only for entertainment. Now, I used it as an escape route. Soon after I came to Canada, I began to read manga more. My favorite shoujo manga was called "Suki desu, Suzuki-Kun." That was so adorable and heartachingly, frustratingly long.
But the reason why that part was related to the bending was... *sigh*
As much as I didn't want to tell my grade 6 life... I would say it to breath a little. Okay, first of all, I hated my grade 6 life. Second, my grades were never above C minus. Third, there was always the morning run day. Finally, that's where I met her, her name was Charlotte, and I wished I hadn't encountered such a person in my life. I never paid much attention to her when I first met her, even though we were in the same class, doing the same activities, and in the same band club.
There was a lot of difference than we had in common: Charlotte was a year younger than me, she was smart, liked reading books, she played a complex instrument, and we had a different circle of friends. But we were always early the early bird going to our beginner band practices, and when I heard her play "Demon" by Imagine Dragons, I was so amazed I started to learn how to play it at home. I loved the songs she played. The amazing performance she showed only to me and the teacher made start to notice her more. Slowly, I started to notice that she reminded me of my favorite character in my favorite shoujo manga as well.
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What I only appreciated about grade 6 was that I realized my dream job – to be part of the IT world! We had to do a presentation for what we would like to be in the future. Imagine someone presenting they want to a pornstar when they grow up! I laughed at most of their dreams. Some wanted to be a YouTuber. Hilarious. Wait until you saw yourself fucking other YouTubers... wait, that's history... good for you.
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Every day, thirty minutes before school ends, our teacher would let us run wild at the courtyard. Me being emotional and fat, I sat near the exit while reading a book (a mini bible), and I was ready to go home. But while I was reading the book, I notice ever so often that she would either play her flute or meander from right to left. I sometimes laugh when she walks passed me, was that because I find her adorable(?) Now that grade 6 was over, I would happily to tell you about my grade 7 life.
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October 21st, 2016, or so I remembered. When my classmates and I were waiting for our teacher, Mr. M, I heard Chantal, a popular student, and the others talked about who they were to choose as a date or a partner; they would pick so and so.
"If I were to date so and so," One guy said and shivered, "yuck!"
"If I were to date you..." Chantal said, "LOL!" (because she is already dating the best troublemaker in the school.)
"I bet you like *some cute girl's name*," one girl said.
"No, no, yuck, why would I fucking like her?!" Another guy said.
"Sigh, grade 7 life; puberty sucks. If I were a boy, I would surely treat Charlotte what she deserves, like a princess..." I thought to myself. Before I knew it, I fell in love with her.
Whenever I was her at school, reading a book alone, I had this urge to want to accompany her. How I wished you guys knew how my heart was feeling at that moment. I also remembered when I was just there alone, waiting for my homeroom teacher to open the door after lunch was over, Charlotte came askin' if she could sit beside me. And all I could say was, "Sure," and I turned away and pretended to sleep. For sure, I was blushing right then. Internally, I was screaming, embarrassed, and regretting that I couldn't say more. I recalled becoming a jerk once; I checked out books with Alfred for others because the librarian let us help. By the time Charlotte's turn was here, I stupidly made a mistake on spelling her name. I bursted off laughing, covering my nervousness and embarrassment. I shouldn't have done that.
A day before Graduation, we had free time to go to the field and do whatever we wanted. I went there with my friend Alfred; we were sitting on top of a big rock and daydreaming until I noticed Charlotte eating her lovely sandwich with her friends talking happily. I bursted out of laughter when I saw that a fly came flying towards her face, or maybe it was the sandwich, and Charlotte was trying hard to avoid the fly without shooing it away (or else it would be even gross as she eats her lunch.) Gosh, how did I fell in love with her?
I wanted to graduate, but I hated to wear those formal shitty dresses. We must wear those formal shit dresses because our teacher said so. Man, how I hated to wear dresses because I was fat, and I didn't want to show off any of my (not) gorgeous skin.
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June 23, Thursday. 2016.
God, this was too much... I had to wear leggings, and a white, fucking fit uh... lady's blouse that I borrowed from my sister! And Charlotte wasn't even here for the matter! All I looked for was Charlotte, Charlotte, Charlotte... but there was no Charlotte today... Although the graduation Photo with my two friends, Value and Alfred, When I tried to picture them, my teacher thought that I included him. I bit my bottom lip to stop myself from laughing (I did laugh in my inner thought.)
I was happy that there was food in the cafeteria when we grade sevens went in. The potluck and graduation speech started. I ignored what the students said because the food was delicious until the 'prom' began. When the 'prom' started, I.hated.it. I hated I had to wear this fucking dress. I hated I had to go to the "prom party" wearing this fucking dress. I hated how my two friends, Alfred and Value, cried because their crushes were dancing with someone else. Mainly I was not too fond of it because Charlotte wasn't there.
That's the end of grade 7 and what an awful way to end it...