THIRTY TWO

Days flew by and l found myself forgetting all about the incident that had taken place in Hildens office. He still hadn't apologised but could live with it because l could tell from his actions that he was sorry.

We spend every minute together minus those where we would both be at work. He came up with an idea to have date night two times a week so that we can keep the spark alive on our relationship and l couldn't agree more. This was his first offence and l didn't see it as reason to end our very new, blossoming relationship.

The second time hurt but the pain wasn't unbearable. A year into our relationship and l felt myself die slowly inside. The denial of not being enough for the one man l have ever loved was too much to handle. But leaving wasn't an option. I wouldn't allow myself to be the old, unwanted, never the first option Isabel.

He loves me and that's all that matters. When l go through my long but short lived dating history, he is the first man to ever see me for me. He respects me and deeply cares for me. He takes the initiative of helping solve all my problems, like providing me with a source of income. When l got fired from my previous job post, he hired me as his personal assistant because he knew my pride wouldn't allow hand-outs

Our relationship is based on honesty, love and maintaining his image. Had he told me from the beginning what it was that l was getting myself into, l most probably would have agreed anyways. Having been abandoned at a young age, l crave affection and the easiest way to get it is through a man. My parents didn't want me then, they sure as hell won't want me now. And l am too old to be finding a family that would want to adopt me and love me as their own. That is all l have ever wanted.

I got to feel that partly when l was with Hilden, but his family wasn't too fond of me. Mostly his father latest conquest. The woman is a drag and thinks she is better than everyone when we all know that she is a typical rags to riches story. My gut always told me that it had everything to do with Hilden than it did me. Everyone could see the way she looked at him with her eyes shining that freshly polished shoes and oh my the affection could turn any stone cold heart into flesh. But John was too blind to see it.

The man too was obsessed with receiving a women's love that he turned a blind eye to the heart eyes directed to his son. Although that didn't stop him from pitying me. He would always provide me with a way out. Get money and run for the hills. The idea wasn't too appealing because l wasn't after Hilden's pocket but his heart.

And that meant losing all the respect the man had for me.

Hilden doesn't care for anyone's opinion or feelings. But that didn't mean that his next conquest shocked me to the core. I was at the mall trying to find something classy for one of our date nights. I had asked Hilden for a day off because today was special. He had been giving me major engagement vibes. All week our conversations were centred around the importance of family and marriage. How at a certain point in every relationship, depending on the goal of the parties in the relationship and the reason for the relationship, whether it be for fun, to pass time or to build a future together, decisions had to be made. And our relationship was the latter. We were building a legacy for our future children, obviously that being the mighty Uppington North Corporation.

He came from old money and preserving his legacy was all that mattered to him. What better way than to pass it down the lineage of the spawns that carry your last name.

I had a total Elle Woods moment, only that l didn't associate with a lot of female counterparts. The major reason being the animosity that was usually thrown my way whenever l entered the room or the unending betrayals. The concept made my head hurt. I didn't mind being lonely if it meant avoiding all the drama. 

My favourite store was having a sale and it being month end meant other budget savvy females like myself would be hoarding the clothing racks determined to find at least one or two items of clothing that they liked from the sales racks. It was still eleven o'clock in the morning meaning most people were at work at wouldn't be at the mall for another hour. What better way to spend lunch time than shopping clothes on sale?

Finding a size wasn't a problem, but finding a colour that matched my skin tone was almost impossible. But today the starts had aligned to make my day as special as the custom made pink encrusted diamond ring that l had always dreamt of having on my finger. I found a black, full length sparkly cowl neck dress that clinged to my body in a modest but sexy way. Not too much was on display for prying eyes.

I got ready in record time, styling my natural curly ombre her it a high chignon, letting the loose hair run down my face. My make was minimal, as Hilden always said 'your make-up free face is your greatest asset. Don't let these heavily caked faces intimidate you' and from that day on l hardly wore make-up. I would do anything to impress him, anything to make him love me more.

The dress fit well on my body, exposing my well hidden, almost non-existent curves and my oh-so-visible-fupa. Another one of the things Hilden loved about me. I didn't fit the aesthetic of a beautiful girl like society proclaimed, instead l was unique and one of a kind in a world of photocopies