Prologue

I don't know what you have been told but your not safe. Listen…my name is... well maybe we shouldn't start with that. We should start with why I'm writing this and even more importantly why your reading it. Personally I cant count all the times I've wanted to die on one hand. It's kind of ironic how things went saying that.

Wanting to die is a feeling that comes deep from your chest. So deep it feels like someone's going to pull out a piece of you. Divide your soul between the pain and some sick and twisted form of reality. Kinda like pulling a spoon out of thick peanut butter. The problem is that each time the spoon goes back inside and the world takes a bite the jar gets a bit more empty.

That's why I'm writing this to you. Because of those pb people. This for all of you who take a bite each and everyday. I want to put it all on the table so you know why the jar doesn't really matter anymore.

And it started out so simply.

A lil black girl. A mear baby then resting beside the discolored couch in the living room. Her first memories slowly starting to slither into her tiny baby brain and stick like silly putty in hair. That little baby's parent always did her best back then. She tried to get a job but with the father being gone so often the woman couldn't do much. Except smoke.

Smoke was always present the smell so pungent and thick it stained the walls. Fading memories that along the walls long forgotten in their frames or never even known.

A sound cut threw the thick air towards that child's ears and she started to cry startled from a nap as Mom turned on the TV. She stuck a bottle in the crying girls mouth seducing silence into the air and quickly replacing that with some unknown cartoon.

The phone rang startling the mother whom was pregnant with another little munchkin. She hurried to the phone and picked it up. There was arguing and then sobbing. The phone went dead and the mom sank to the ground. Her elderly mother had just passed away and her brother was on his way to his sister's house.

Flash forward 8 years.

After a long bout of mental illness and medical complications the mother had passed away. Her children were now living with their uncle. He was normally away on business but the boys fathers parents took him in so the girl was alone most of the time. When the uncle came home he would take her out of school and they would go on survivalist trips. He taught her everything fringom. How to build a fire to construction.

One day She to got a phone call. Her uncle sounded distressed. He had been off on He made her go find his laptop. Gave her some passwords and had her read several articles. Told her what she had to do. Told her she would be ok and he loved her. Told her never to forget the ring she had been given that she wore on a necklace.

And the phone went silent... no one came for her for two weeks. An old beat up pickup showing up one dreary Saturday evening. The man inside to her surprise was her mom's second husband. He pushed right past her without a word into her uncle's house dropped his bag and went to the fridge grabbing a beer and makinge a sandwich. He went into the living room and parked his arse in her uncle's recliner feet up and at home.

Stomping up the stairs the girl went to her room and glared out of the window silent tears flowing down her cheeks.

There was no funeral only an ern and a letter addressed to her. It read…

"To Alex,

Don't forget Eden

p.s….. I love you

Sincerely forever

S.R