The next morning, I went back to Manila.
Jae, Sungjin, Wonpil and Dowoon had been trying to contact me before I left, but I was not answering anyone of them. I did not want to hear any word from them. I was afraid to explain.
But an unfamiliar number called me right before I boarded the plane. I answered it, thinking it was someone from CJ E&M. Yet, it was not.
It was Park Jimin/Jamie.
"Where are you?" She asked. Her voice was really serious.
"Why?"
"What happened to you and Young Hyun-oppa?"
I did not answer.
We were already called to board, so I just told Jimin, "Please tell him not to wait for me. I don't know what will happen...to me. He has to go on with his life."
"What..."
I ended the call before she could say another word. My tears were about to fall again. It was actually a wonder how they would not run out.
I boarded the plane back to my homeland. While in the clouds, my eyes would not stop streaming tears again, so I decided to put my pain into words.
My dearest Brian,
I love you and I'm sorry. I'm sorry because I don't think I showed you enough how much I love you. I'm sorry because I hurt you. I'm sorry because I lied. I'm sorry because I might no longer live.
But know that I am happy that I met you…that we became good friends and more. You gave my life a new color, a new meaning. It is because of you that my days became more exciting and fun. It is because of you that I believe in love again.
I love you. I know I haven't told you enough.
I love you…but goodbye.
Krizza