Twenty One

Namjoon POV

It was 3 am and I still hadn't fell asleep. I tossed and turned in my bed and couldn't seem to find my way into the slumber I needed.

Ipressed the tips of my fingers on the chain; Jacksons chain, that now hung around my neck. I couldn't believe that she gave this to me. It meant the world that she would give up something so precious to her, so that I would have something to remember him by.

I groaned and rolled over, shoving my face into the pillow.

Why can't I stop thinking about her?!

Why wont she leave my mind?

I heard two loud knocks at my door and sat up.

"NAMJOON! NAMJOON!"

It was Jin. I ran to the door and pulled it open. Jin was sweaty, hair disheveled and upset.

"Hyung, what is it?" I asked, taking in the state he was in. "What's wrong?"

"Hobi called," he said while rushing through his words. "Layla woke up screaming she saw Jackson and wont stop screaming and crying so she locked herself in the bathroom and he dont know what to do so he called me and I'm scared she's going to hurt herself Joonie we have to help!"

I grabbed his shoulders. "Calm down, go get dressed. I'll put some clothes on and we'll go see her okay?"

He nodded and ran down the hall into his room. I rushed myself, throwing whatever I could find on. As soon as I ran into the hall, Jin was on the couch putting on his shoes.

"Jin, I'm scared." I said putting on my shoes beside him.

"Now is not the time for you to freak out. Leave all of that to me and Hoseok." He grabbed his phone and brought it back up to his ear. "God damn it! Where are they?" He looked over to me. "I'm going to kill Yoongi, Taehyung, Jimin and Jungkook."

💔

We arrived at the address Hoseok sent Jin in no time at all. We ran up the three flights of stairs and once we reached her door, Jin started knocking repeatedly. "Hobi! Open up!"

Hobi opened the door and we rushed in. He had tears in his eyes. I didn't have time to ask him anything when a blood curdling scream erupted through what I guess would be the guest bathroom.

I took off sprinting to her. I knocked on the door and the sobbing and screaming got louder.

"Layla, it's Joonie! Open up, baby. Let me in." I kept knocking. "Baby, please. Open the door. It's okay."

Her sobbing stopped and the door opened an inch when I seen her tear streaked face. She was wrapped in a towel. Her nose was bleeding.

"Joonie...?" She sniffled. "I saw him. I swear..." She choked out another sob. "I can't do this anymore."

I looked back at Hoseok and Namjoon, who were both frozen in place. "Get her some clothes."

"Can I come in?" I asked her. She nodded after a moment and slowly opened the door. I walked in and closed it behind me. She sat down on the floor in front of the shower, cradling her head in her hands. The silent sobs becoming more audible.

I walked over to her and crouched down in front of her. "Tell me what happened."

She looked up at me, the blood still trickled down her nose onto her lip. She touched it and looked at her fingers. "Shit."

I grabbed a wet wash cloth from the shower ledge and slowly wiped her nose. "Does this happen a lot?"

"Only when I get upset." She sniffed. "I'm sorry."

I sat the wash cloth down and pushed a strand of hail behind her ear. "Don't apologize. Tell me what happened. "

She took a deep breath and looked back up at me. Fresh tears started to run down her cheeks. "I heard something and woke up. I looked around in the dark and thought I seen someone standing at the foot of my bed," she began. "Then the moonlight came through the window and I saw him. I couldn't breathe, Namjoon. When I called his name, he moved and that's when I woke Hobi up. My door was opened way more that I left it when I went to bed and swore I heard my front door shut." She started to cry louder now. "It was real, Namjoon. I swear it felt so real. Why is this happening to me?"

"Baby," I sighed. "It was just a dream. Jackson has been on your mind a lot right?"

She nodded. "Yeah."

Hoseok barely opened the bathroom door. "I have her clothes."

I nodded and pointed to the counter. He walked in with his head down. Layla looked at him and wiped the tears from her cheek.

"Hobi, I'm sorry." She muttered. "I'm so sorry for this."

He looked at her and half smiled. "It's okay, Layla." He looked at his watch, it's almost 5. Jin and I are gonna go get some donuts and coffee. Namjoon, will you take Layla with you to Big Hit?"

I nodded. "Sure."

"What about our dance practice?" She asked with tears again.

"Hey," he said while kneeling down and lightly kissing her forehead. "There are other days. You need a break this morning. I'll come see you once you get there, okay?" He cradled her face in his hands. "Strawberry donut and Caramel Macchiato?"

"Sounds nice, Hobi." She said kissing his palm.

I turned away not to intrude on their moment. My heart skipped a beat, too. Layla meant the world to us, but I knew some of us where falling for her way deeper than we thought.

Hoseok stood up and smiled at me. "I'll see you in a little bit, Namjoon."

I nod6 back at him, then he walked out the door. I turned my attention back to Layla and smiled. "I'm going to wait in the living room while you get dressed. Call me if you need me."

She smiled at me and grabbed my hand. "You're the only one who knows the pain I'm in. I will never be able to tell you how much I'm thankful for you."

I kissed her cheek and pressed my forehead against hers. "I'll be here forever. "

💔

I sat on the arm of the couch and stared at the picture of Jackson in my hands. "Why did you leave her, you idiot? You were supposed to out live us all, but you had to go off and do something stupid. I dont care what anyone else thought, but I know what you were up to. You just had to get mixed up in that shit didn't you?" I put the picture back on the table and sighed. "I wish you were here, pabo."

I heard the door knob turn and out stepped Layla in shorts and a tank top. Her face was swollen and her eyes were puffy. Her hair was wet from the shower and she looked exhausted.

I thought this natural state of Layla was beautiful. She was raw. Real.

Her lip quivered and soon the tears escaped her eyes once more. I opened my arms and she ran into them. I was still sitting on the arm of the couch; so my arms wrapped around her tiny waist and I placed my head on her shoulder.



Her arms wrapped around my neck and she cried. Ever tear and ever closed in emotion, she let out. I tightened my grip around her waist and pull her closer.

"Its okay," I said hugging her, "Let it all out baby."

"I just want to stop hurting, Namjoon. I thought I was okay, but I'm not. Just thinking I saw him brought back memories of the pr-" she cut herself off and I pulled back. I grabbed her chin and looked into her eyes.

"Of what, Layla? You can tell me."

She looked down at the ground and slowly lifted her eyes back to mine. "Before Jackson left.....I found out I was pregnant....The day he left, we had just found out that the pregnancy wasn't viable and I was in the early stages of miscarrying." She wiped a tear from her cheek and looked back at me. "I'm sorry for not telling you I just-"

"Layla, you dont have to tell us anything. That was private. I understand. I am so sorry. Come here." I pulled her close to me again, nuzzling my head against her chest. "You've been through a lot, Layla. And for you to still be standing here, opening yourself up to the world and trying to move on, says a lot about you." I lifted my head up and then pulled her onto my lap; she melted into me, her head in the crook of my neck and her arms wrapped around chest. "You're strong, baby. Stronger than you give yourself credit for."

"If I was strong, I wouldn't have a break down every time something reminds me of him. If I was strong, I wouldn't be sleeping with all of you. I'm just a messed up, depressed slut."

"No you're not," I yelled. "You like us all right?"

She nodded her head.

"Does being with us make you happy? Does being with us help you move on? Does having us care for you warm your heart?"

"It does.." she muttered.

"We all care about you and we all want to see you smile. It doesn't matter how we do that, when or why. We will always be there for you when you need us, even if you dont. You're stuck with us for life."

She giggled and looked up at me. "I like the sound of that."

I slowly brought my lips to hers and kissed her. The tingling sensation and the slight gasp I made, took me by surprise. I cradled her chin and kissed her with more passion, getting lost in her soft plump lips.

I pulled back and smiled at her. "Let's go get our coffee and donuts. "