09

The thing about emotions is that you can rarely handle it, it's like a fire, it could burn out of place any minute, you have to keep it checked and sometimes, you try, but you fail, just like I failed.

There are certain moments, looking back, you wish you didn't do what you did, you wish you can reverse time and erase it, just like I want to, but you can't, I can't. It's been a day since Caden lashed out on me, I still can't believe it, I find it so hard to believe what I did when he shouted on me. As much as I hate myself for breaking down, I can't really blame myself, I was tired, hungry, weak, vulnerable, when Caden released those words, it was my breaking point, tears I kept in broke out like an over filled dam. I cried for hours, before falling asleep, waking up in one of the rooms.

I went back to my hostel, with swollen eyes and a broken heart. I'll stay away from Caden, far away from him, it might seem impossible because we are in the same faculty, and we work in the same place, but I'll stay away from him, I can and I will. Speaking of work, I checked the time, realising we had just 30 minutes to get to SPEAK.

"Caroline! Be fast" I screamed as I grabbed my knife, putting it in my back pocket

"I'm rea-- What do you need that for?" Caroline paused when she caught a glimpse of the knife

"Just a precaution. The person I'll be psychoanalysing might be a psychopath, and in that case worker need the psychopath repulser" I smiled as I tapped the knife

She stared at me for a while before saying "Whatever makes you happy." We all agreed not mention everything that happened on Friday

I smiled at her, before grabbing my new car key

"Don't hurt my baby" I said as she caught it

She looked at me before smiled so bright as she said "Cross my heart. Hope to dieee!" and with that she bolted out of the room

I grinned as I walked to the mirror, checked my self one last time, pleased with my dressing and hair, I walked out of the room, locking the door behind me.

~.~

I smiled as I watch the 6 years old girl, she continuously tap her middle finger on the desk, her nervousness quite obvious. I shifted my gaze from her to Caroline who was sitting at the other end of the room, in front of a black haired girl.

I look back to the young girl, sitting in front of me. I took a deep breath as I prepared myself, I shut down thoughts of Caden any other distractions

"Hi" I smiled at her

"I'm Fiona" I added, eyeing her natural curls, Caroline should learn hair beauty from her

"Hmm" She just hummed in reply

I smiled as I asked "What's your name?"

She didn't answer, continued tapping her finger on the desk, I stayed silent, waiting for her to talk, she looked at me for a few minutes before saying "Hope"

"Well, Hope, you have a beautiful name for an angel. We all need hope to hold on to, perhaps I should hold on to you" I joked lamely

She bit her lips, to hide her smile as she continued tapping the table while fiddling with the hem of her skirt with her other hand

"So, Hope, what's wrong?, How are you? and before you answer, just know that we don't lie here, we tell the truth because it sets things free" I said folding my hand on the table

She stopped tapping the table, locked eye with me and looked away. She's a tough one, I was silent for a while, waiting for her, hoping she'll talk, when that wasn't forthcoming, I said "Listen Hop--"

"I'm black" She whispered, cutting me off

"Yes Hope. I can see you're black, but that doesn't make you a lesser person" I smiled

"I'm the only black girl in my school. I don't like my school, they hate me there, I hate them too. I'm always laughed at and mocked, no one plays with me or receive candies from me all because I'm black. I cry everyday which is why Granny's friend, Aunt Jo told me to talk to someone here" She said wiping away tears that escaped unto her cheeks

I smiled as I gave her the tissue. "Hope, you are black, I'm white. Our colours don't define us. We are who we are irrespective of our colour. Your schoolmates are ignorant, they lack knowledge, but you, you Hope, you are bestowed with knowledge. Don't mind whatever they say. Your Colour, your Hair, You name, should be be your pride. Do you know how many people will die to have the dark natural curls you're endowed with. Ignore whatever they say, Look on the bright side, your skin is elegant. Just so you know, my roommate is black, her name is Caroline and she's beautiful just like you. Your Colour can't stop you from being who you want to be. You are black and you are loved" I smiled at her

She looked up, scoffed as she said "I don't believe you"

I totally didn't see that coming. Still smiling I said "Why?"

"It sounds un-true"

"Hope, when you get home, ask your Mom or your Grandma or even Aunt Jo. They'll tell you the same thing" I smiled

"Really?" She asked, tears glistening in her eyes

"Yes Hope"

"Thank you" She finally smiled

I return her smile, felt my phone beeped, and I said "You're welcomed, and our session is over. Will I see you next week?"

"Hopefully not, because now I know I'm black and I'm loved" She grinned

I chuckled "That's the spirit girl"

"Thank you." She smiled "I believe I was promised some cookies" She grinned getting up

I opened the drawer, removing the freshly baked cookies that Caroline and He-Who-We-Must-Not-Mention baked "Here you go. You get 3 wraps" I said handing it to her

She squeaked excitedly "Thank you!"

"Who is picking you up?" I asked her

"Aunt Jo" She answered, her eyes still on the cookies. Almost immediately the door opened, diverting my attention to Lizzie walking in with a young man beside her

"Oh, Looks like Aunt Jo couldn't make it" Hope said as ran to Lizzie

"Kings, how is it going?" Lizzie asked after exchanging weird greetings with Hope

"It's fine. Hope is amazing" I smile

"Yes, she is. Babe, this is Fiona Kings, one of the workers here and Kai's friend. Fiona, this is my husband, Landon Saltzman" She smiled, introducing us

"Good afternoon sir" I smiled politely at the green eyed man

"Sir?" He chuckled "I'm just 26, don't call me Sir, call me Landon. You look pretty by the way, with your dark hair, ever curled it?. It would look nice curled, and did you dye it?, Let me guess, Red!. Every girl wants to be a redhead. I'm sure with this pretty face of yours, you looked hot in red." He turned to Lizzie "Liz, will you let me dye your hair red, please, and you can wear matching Lingerie and heels, you'll look fucking hot, we'll be up all night" He turned back to me "What do you think Kings?, won't it be awesome?"

My jaw was literally on the ground, I'm getting Violet vibes here "Ehm, I guess" I answered, I don't even know what question I'm answering. I looked at Lizzie with a panicked look

"I know, he's a talker. Don't get offended with all the compliments he give, that's just how he is. It's actually something that comes with his job, he's a fashion designer, a hair stylist and blah blah blah"

"Hey! Don't categorize my job under blahs. Kings, I'm a hairstylist, A Fashion Designer, A Beauty Consultant, A Make Up Artist and everything that comes with Female beauty" He smiled

I chuckled saying "Wow, I'll keep that in mind. I have 3 sisters, and I'm 100 percent sure my roommate need hair care"

"Can we go now. I need to eat these" Hope whined

"Oh sorry Hope, Let's go, and maybe I can give your hair a new touch. I'm thinking I should dye it blond. You don't know how damn special your hair is. I think I would just dye the curls gold, it would rhyme with your amber coloured ey--" His voice trailed off as he walked out of the building

I looked back at Lizzie "Wow! He's a talker!"

"I know right"

~.~

"Hungrry!" Caroline groaned like a child

I rinsed my hand walking out of the toilet

"Aren't we going home now?" I asked "How was your day?" We walked back to the session room to get our bags

"It was fine. I talked to girl. She's 20, so not a teenager, She adds oh in all her sentence. Her name is Rebekah, but she insists I call her Becs" Caroline said

I smiled as I told her about Hope and Landon "You should see Landon, I'm definitely sure he'll do magic to your bird's nest" I said poking her hair

"Hey, don't touch my hair" She said feigning annoyance

We took our bags as I said "Take care of i---" I was cut short by a melodious laughter. I looked in the direction and I saw Caden and a girl, standing by the entrance, talking and laughing, felt like something died in my stomach

I cleared my throat as I said "Let's go" with them at the entrance passing would be a little awkward. I groaned as I brought my nails to my teeth but was stopped by Caroline

"Don't. Don't even think about it. Danielle told me all about your nervous habit" I glared at her, dropping my hand

Their laughter and chatter died down as we got closer, not looking at Caden, I smiled at the girl saying "Please Excuse"

She was about to move away when she looked at Caroline "Oh hey Caroline"

"Hi Becs"

"You're going home?" She asked like it wasn't obvious enough

"Yeah, we are so hungry" Caroline groaned

"Oh, you're her roommate?" She turned to me

"Yeah" I smiled

"I'm Rebekah, but call me Becs"

I smiled as I said "I'm Fiona"

"Oh, I love your shirt, it's nice" She gestured to my shirt

"Thank you. So Becs, Are you going to get out of the way or what?. We are really hungry"

"Oh yeah, sorry, my bad. Oh and this is Caden, my friend, I'm sure you know him" She said pointing to Caden

I just stared at her, not sparing Caden a glance. I kept on looking at her, hoping she'll get the message and fuck off with him, but she didn't, probably because she's stupid. Caroline came to rescue, as always

"Look here Rebekah. I was supposed to be your friend but seeing you associate with this bitch" She pointed at Caden "Sorry, we can't be friends. So kindly fuck out of the way, so I and this beautiful roommate of mine can pass. And stop adding oh to every sentence, it's not attractive, it just shows your knowledge on English Language is limited"

Rebekah jaw was literally on the ground "Oh my God! Aren't you supposed to be nice to me!" She screamed

"I'm officially off duty and you're no longer my patient" Caroline rolled her eyes

"Becca, this bitches aren't worth shit. Let's get out of here" He said

I turned to him, putting my attraction for him locked, considering he just call Caroline and I bitches

I cleared my throat as I said "You said black is the new dumb, did you forget your hair is black?. Black is not the new dumb. You, Caden, you're the new dumb"