Chapter 18: Trust Issues

Vi POV

Why is it my fault? I just said my opinion ‘cause am I not allowed to? Was it too harsh? Also, how dare Dan share our private conversation? It is a “private conversation” in the first place. To be frank, I don’t know why I feel this mad, is it because of Dan or Sapphire? I have tons of problems to handle right now, they added another one to my list.

I admit that I did have a crush on Dan. I mean, who wouldn’t? Who wouldn’t fall for his friendliness? His charm? His smile? And we were best friends. Whenever we meet, I tell him everything and somehow my world becomes more alive with him. Even with the problems I face now, he is the closest friend I got so far aside from Brianne. I accepted reality where Sapphire would slowly but surely take Dan away from me. Yes, it hurts so much. Yes, we have a difficult situation. And even though there was never an “us”, it’s alright with me as long as he’s happier with the person he loves. Why? After the countless sacrifices and understandings, this is how he repays me?

He’s that type of friend who shares and comforts you through sorrow, troubles, and rants in life. I trusted him the most. But, why does this feel like a mistake? He knew from the beginning about the core of my trust issues. After the betrayal I went through from my first best friend, I developed these trust issues. I trusted him. Who would have thought that he would break this trust? I trusted him. Yet, maybe I was wrong all along. I should never have trusted him. I can’t trust him anymore.

This feels like a repeating cycle. In the end, it’s always me who gets hurt the most. No matter how precious this friendship is to me, he will always pick Sapphire. Does he even know that Sap[hire is destroying him from within? I was there whenever he felt tired. In all moments when he doubted her love for him. Sapphire was never the girl Dan liked, but he learned to love him. Why? Why is it my fault? Jealousy, maybe. Yet, bringing up the past that I don’t want to remember from the person I never trusted, felt like a stab to me.

I immediately dashed out of the classroom as Sapphire left first. I should be okay. I want to be okay. How to be okay?

I avoided the gazes of other people. I need space for myself. I need to calm down. I don’t want to meet or even see Dan with my state. I might not be able to control myself.

I left the school grounds and was already on my way to the dorms until someone familiar shouted out my name.

“Vi!”

I pretended that I couldn’t hear his voice. Should I just run by now?

“Vi! Please, let’s talk.”

I fasten my pace because I don’t want him to reach me. I still don’t want to see him right now.

“Vi! Please let me explain…”

Please Dan, not now.

I was forced to stop when Dan blocked my way. “You won’t talk or listen to me at all?”

I didn’t answer back. I did not even look into his eyes.

“Vi, please talk. If you’re mad, then get mad at me. Don’t make me the fool of not knowing what I did wrong. We can still fix this if —”

“What do you mean?” I asked, “Do you really think that I could trust you again? You know me, Dan. Yet, I just can’t believe that you could do that to me, after everything I did for you as your friend. Dan, I feel so tired. I feel incredibly tired, yet you added to my problems.”

“Vi –”

“I am already drained out, Dan. Maybe you didn’t know that because you spent more time with your ex than with us, your friends, who were there for you. Do you know how difficult it is to ask for more time with you? You don’t know the feeling of suffering from these personal problems alone. What kind of friend are you? You’re just pulling me downwards.”

“Vi, I’m sorry –”

“Please, I need more time for me to think straight. Please, I don’t want to see you anymore. I just got pulled into your mess.”

“You can’t handle it anymore? Should I just stay away from you from now on?”

I can’t stop the tears which are slowly pouring down. “Please, Dan. Enough is enough. You broke this friendship we had with your mistake. I can’t fight for you anymore.”

He did not speak back, he just looked away and left. And maybe it should be this way. I cannot trust him again.

***

"Oh that rumor, let's not talk about it. Unless Violet, is it alright if I tell them?" asked Brianne

I nodded in response.

"According to the rumor Sapphire made up, Vi is the cause of their break up. Vi took away Dan from her. I know this rumor isn't true, they barely even had time for each other. They only talk through texts. Still, I don't understand Sapphire, it's just plain jealousy. And I don't even understand why other people would easily believe in that lie." Brianne exclaimed.

"True, it seems like the opposite actually. Sapphire is more capable of doing it than Vi. We all know that Vi is more focused on her studies. Well, based on my observations at least that's why she chose to become a tutor. Vi, you never liked Dan right? Not even a little bit? You're just friends with him?" Carylle asked.

I know deep inside that I did like him. Past tense. It's in the past. "We were close before, not anymore. He's the one who keeps on bothering me honestly. I don't recall how I became close to him in the first place. Maybe it's just a coincidence."

"Or maybe fate. Remember, you became Dan's tutor. You bumped into each other again."

"Definitely not. Maybe they were given a chance to fix their friendship. Tell me, Vi, when will you trust him again? Why can't you give him a second chance?"

I noticed all of their eyes staring at me. This is already making me feel conscious, I don't even have the right words yet. I just thought of this answer instead.

“Honestly,” I started, “Sapphire threatened me. She knows something from my past and I don’t want anyone to know. Brianne knows what happened to me back in elementary but sorry guys, I can't tell you the whole story yet. Someday, I promise"

"Okay, sorry if it felt like we forced you. We were just curious." Stacy apologized to the group with a shaky voice.

"It's okay, guys. I'm really okay. It's just that Dan was one of my closest friends who I found out later on that she told Sapphire my secret. I couldn't believe that he would betray me like that."

Brianne added, "That is also the reason why Vi has a difficult time socializing and trusting other people. Dan knew that Vi had trust issues but he still betrayed her. You know Vi, you don’t deserve a friend like him. Stay with us and we will make sure that we will never break your trust in us."

"You all didn't need to tell me that. Thank you for the support. Although I just met some of you, I feel that you are all trustworthy. I just need time to heal before I can trust again. I’m trying to build my trust and become open with you all, it’s just that it's difficult for me. I wish it was easy.”

Brianne turned her head as she heard her name being called. The rest looked at the person, “Sir Eu is looking for me, and it seems like he's approaching our table right now. Behave guys, he's our club adviser."

As he approached our table, a sense of familiarity came to me. Wait, is he the same teacher who is always near Ma'am Bea?

"Good afternoon sir." We all greeted sir.

He lent Brianne a printed document contained in a red folder. It felt like he didn't notice us. "Brianne, kindly finalize this Constitution and By-laws before 4 PM. I highlighted some sentences which need revision."

“I'm on it, sir.”

For a single second, I made eye contact with sir. "Ah good afternoon to you all. Sorry for the disturbance, this is an urgent club matter."

He took a glance again. "You seem familiar. Are you one of Ma'am Bea's volunteers?"

I responded firmly, "Yes sir."

"Good, we are planning a collaboration with you, Ma'am Bea's volunteers, as a major club activity."

“Club activity?”

"Yes, we'll get in touch soon." He slightly changed his position, facing Brianne. "Brianne, don’t forget the revisions okay? Please report to my office at 5 PM."

“Got it, sir,” she responded.

“It’s also nice to meet all of your friends, Brianne. I will go now. Happy eating guys.”

“Nice to meet you too sir Eu.” all of us exclaimed

That was unexpected. I can’t believe that Sir Eu would still recognize me, was it that embarrassing?

"Speaking of Sir Eu," Brianne checked her surroundings before speaking. "Did you know the rumor between him and Ma'am Bea? Some of our ates and kuyas say that Sir Eu likes Ma'am Bea but haven't confessed."

"Confessed? It seems impossible? Sir Eucliton recently transferred to this school so it seems too early for any development of feelings." Stacey commented back.

"Of course, it's not like that. Kuya Arthur told the club that his older sister was a classmate of both Ma’am Bea and Sir Eu back in high school. He mentioned that Sir Eu developed feelings for ma'am since high school, but never confessed since he doesn't want to ruin their strong friendship." Brianne blurted out.

I replied, “Well, maybe Sir Eu is afraid of the friend zone. Based on my observations, Ma’am Bea is not even interested.”

“Anyway guys, don’t tell anyone, alright? This is unconfirmed information within my club. Others might get mad once the information gets leaked out.”

“Of course. We aren’t even close with Sir Eu. The secret’s safe with us.”

We went to our respective classrooms after we had a few more snacks. Dan approached me with a jolly look on his face. “It’s a good thing you have new friends now.”

“Well, I’m not that lonely. You just like to assume.” I replied.

“I know. I can see that you socialize well with other people, but you chose to be loyal to your current group of friends.”

“Yeah, I’m lucky that I’ve met Brianne. She has connections with several people.”

“Uhmmm Vi, my grandmother wants to speak with you,” he added.

His grandmother? His grandmother is currently suffering from an incurable disease?

“I don’t know why, but she said that she has been waiting for this moment to come and has always wanted to meet you.”

***

Author’s Note (A/N): Hello, dear readers! I hope you enjoyed reading this chapter. Firstly, I would like to take this time to apologize sincerely for the very delayed update. Last year, I was preparing for college admissions so I barely had time to write. I also had to accomplish two pieces of research and I focused more on my academics since I was a graduating student during that time. This year, I encountered personal health problems which hindered me a lot. I was confined in the hospital for several weeks, so I had a ton of unfinished requirements to accomplish. I also had writer's block since several months had passed by. I know that I made a promise that I will try to frequently update this story as often as possible, but I had to face several personal struggles. I hope that you’ll still stay tuned for this story and I will try my best to update this vacation. Thank you for the endless support and unwavering patience!