Chapter 3: I Can't

As I blinked my eyes, the figure disappeared and showed me the source of a phone's flash, noticing that it was Brianne who took the pictures. She looked at me and gestured to me to approach them. They noticed my reaction after the stranger left. I fixed my posture and observed their curious faces.

"Mia, he hasn't done anything suspicious, right?"

I wanted to show them the business card that the stranger gave me but I decided not to.

I shook my head, "Don't worry, I'm alright. It's just strange that he mentioned that PFM Entertainment was scouting for female trainees."

All of them looked confused. Brianne spoke back, "What are you even talking about Mia? Elaborate."

I explained to them that his name was "Dong-Yul" and mentioned insisting me to audition for PMF's global auditions which will be announced soon. Their expression changed when I mentioned that it might have been the actual "Dong-Yul" who spoke to me and even sang to prove his identity.

"Jinja?! Mia, are even hearing yourself right now? They are on vacation from their world tour that lasted for three months. They can't come to the Philippines all of a sudden, especially Dong-Yul. Consider this, he is famous yet his recent scandal made people nuts. This mall is full of swarming people, do you think that he will just come here without being noticed? I thought that you didn't care for 7AD? I know that Dong-Yul might be your bias, but we're talking about a global star."

I straightened my jacket and continued speaking, "Brianne, I'm not even kidding. He told me that he is Dong-Yul. I couldn't believe it myself. I don't believe in that guy a while ago, he seems like an impersonator if I'm completely honest."

"However, both the stranger and Dong-Yul looked extremely alike," I reminded myself.

I don't have any solid evidence to show them because the stranger only said that he'll help me. But how?

I remembered the picture Brianne took. "Brianne, show me any photos that you've taken. Maybe we can see the stranger's face."

She took out her cellphone and browsed her gallery. "These are all the pictures I have. Every picture I captured was taken with his back facing the camera. Too bad, his face isn't visible in any of these pictures."

He wasn't recognizable in the pictures since he wore a cap and face mask before and after we talked.

I sighed. "Sad, if we have pictures of his face, maybe you'll agree with everything I just said."

Brianne replied, "He might not be Dong-Yul, but what if he could be an agent of a famous agency? Think of it, you could have been cast as an idol for his debut group. I swear, you now have a chance of pursuing in the world of stardom if you want to."

I let out another sigh. "You know that I can't accept his offer, whether he is Dong-Yul or not. My parents want me to finish accountancy, to live a normal life with assurance. I hope that one day, I'll have the chance to become a singer. For now, I have to accept what reality has for me now."

I always wanted to pursue a singing career, but I can't.

My parents already planned for my future. They insist that I have to study in school with excessive efforts so that I can get high grades and become a top student, enough to excel in academics. But it's not what I wanted. I wanted to pursue my talent. Expectations on both me and my family are high. And we both know that I should reach every expectation, even though it is galaxies away from my reach.

How to fight for dreams on my own without any restrictions?

Recently, I've rented a practice room not far from school with my budget, a place where no one I know comes and I can dance freely. I thought that I was a fool, hoping for a chance to be recognized as a singer, an idol maybe. To be honest, I don't know anymore.

I can't face my parents to tell them that I wanted to be a performer, an artist. I want to produce my music. I know it sounds too ambitious, but I don't want to lose hope.

I've looked at my watch and decided to leave early for me to practice alone. "Anyways, I have to go. I have to study for our long tests tomorrow. Bye!" I said as I waved at them.

"Oh alright. Bye Mia! Stay safe on your way home!"

I stood in line for a few minutes for a taxi. I told the taxi driver the name of the dance studio.

"So, you are a dancer? A dance instructor? Or taking dance lessons?"

I giggled, "No kuya. I'm just an ordinary student who rents a dance room all by myself."

"But, that still means that you're a dancer, am I correct?"

"Sort of. I'm teaching myself to dance. Renting a dance practice room is a secret I hide from my parents."

"I have to warn you hija. At the end of the day, you have to tell them."

The moment we arrived at my destination, I brought out an extra student id from my wallet for a discount. I paid him and walked out. I felt a sudden push on the shoulder while I was putting back my student id. It was this Korean guy again.

I snickered at him, "Look, I don't want to assume that you're stalking me and I don't want any argument. I'm telling you this, if this was all a coincidence, I'll let you off the hook. But once I see your face, I'll certainly file a restraining order with the help of my parents. Am I clear?"

He still looked confused, "Geez, I didn't do any wrong. Is it my fault that we rented rooms in this same studio?"

I pretended that I didn't come across him, ignoring his very presence. I took a pen and wrote on the logbook.

"You don't want to try? At least once?" he expressed with puppy eyes.

I have to be careful and try to keep my distance away from this person. I have watched the news before that there was one time an ordinary Filipino looked like Min Ki of 7AD while he was wearing a face mask. They both have similar facial structures. I'm sure that if it is Dong-Yul beside me, the reporters would go crazy. Someone might have taken a photo of him already. It might even spread throughout the internet.

"It's not because I don't want to. You don't have my trust yet, but even if you do, I can't. I mean, how can I? I have to prove my worth to my parents. I have to finish a course my parents planned for me to maintain my reputation, or better yet improve my family's reputation."

He leaned in closer. "Just think about it. If you became an idol under our company, then you'll be an inspiration to your fans. I get it, but please consider my offer. If you change your mind, please do not hesitate to contact me. I'm sure my hyungs will be glad to meet you. You have all the qualities that can convince me that you have what it takes to be a well-known artist. Let me help you."

"How are you certain? I'm not special."

Before I could answer, a guy wearing sunglasses handed him a phone. It must be an important call.

"I have to take this call. Well, I'll see you often in this dance studio. Hope we meet again."

I wanted to try, even though K-pop is different from OPM. I want to be a successful OPM singer, but if I pursue as a kpop idol, will I still be able to reach my dream?

I quickly went into my practice room without looking back. I'm going to practice an easy kpop dance. Twice's TT isn't that difficult but it took me almost a year to master the whole choreography. I know deep inside that I lost confidence because of an accident. I'm still a weak dancer, transitioning into a different style of music. I haven't danced for a while so I can't move between basic steps any faster.

I studied my movements, looking at the mirror. It does not feel the same. My body wants to collapse but my mind wants me to continue. I corrected myself too many times. I keep on messing up the choreography. I'm tired. I'm tired of myself. How long will I grasp onto the hope that I'll succeed in the end?

I wanted to give up. I wanted to quit. This has been the thousandth time, I want to give up on this. Every day, I lose an ounce of trust in myself, I can't bear to look at my reflection. Every practice, I feel like my progress is deteriorating instead of progressing.

I let my body collapse on the cold floor, exhausted. Just as I was about to stand, the surroundings around me went spinning, losing my balance, and fell. I screamed from the prickly headache. As I lay on the cold dance floor, I became lost with thoughts, the darkness I see triggered the reality I am in now. I realize that I cannot force myself into pursuing a dream that isn't mine. It's impossible.

***

In this blinding darkness, a little spark formed. The spark suddenly moved, creating an arc-like shape. I ran into the arc and found myself standing on a lavender field.

I don't know this place. Where am I? There stood another man from my previous peculiar dream. He was wearing a cracked mask and a blue flannel and black pants this time. He looked like a normal human being this time.

"Do you know why you're here?"

I shook my head, "I don't have any idea. Are you even real?"

"I am a true person who appears only in your unconsciousness. Traveling beyond twists of space and time isn't a pleasant feeling. Don't be afraid and just trust the universe's power and me."

I narrowed my eyes, "Really? Why would I trust you?"

"Just do. When that moment comes, you'll meet parts of your persona instilled in various people. You'll also meet the seven boys soon but you need to save them before the last petal withers."

"Tell me exactly, why is it supposed to be me who'll save them? You won't tell me who you are nor your intentions for me. Please, at least tell me your name?"

"If I'll tell you, then you'll be trapped in a different universe forever in a repeated timeline. Lend me your hand, wear this bracelet and write on notes this journal, you'll need all these before I'll leave you. You're on your own, for now."

I reached out for the red journal with simple embroidered designs on it. It has its pen attached to it, a heart-shaped lock, and a little key that is attached to a charm bracelet. On the bracelet were red jewel beads, a half-heart charm, and a mask pendant.

"Remember, the clock is ticking. End the loop and I'll set you free."

Suddenly, the pages of the journal began flipping on its own as the beads glowed. The figure left me as the swirl of the hurricane circulating me became intense. I held a deep breath and closed my eyes.