Chapter 5: Strengths and Weaknesses

I snapped back to reality as I heard an old man cursing and complaining at me. "Lady please, don't block my way. I'm already in a hurry."

I stepped aside and quickly apologized, "I'm sorry po. I'll fasten my pace and let you pass by po."

He glared back at me. I came back to the dorms, lying on the bed, exhausted.

The man with flowers, his familiar feet that made my lips curl into a warm smile. His sincere eyes made me giddy yet the tragedy that happened in an instant, I could only stare back in his sorrowful eyes. Why did he have to die?

Mia, snap out from it. It's just a daydream. An illusion that your imagination creates.

I wrote down every detail that I could remember in my brown journal. Yet, how can I write on the journal the mysterious masked figure gave me?

Does it even make sense? A figure who only appears in one's unconsciousness? Dreams of the alternative universe? An ability and responsibility I don't recognize?

You have to figure it on your own, Mia

***

I laid my cellphone on the table during my teacher's discussion. At one random moment, my phone started to vibrate from the received messages. I glanced at the messages seen in the notifications bar.

"Is this your number Mia?"

"Miaaaaaaaaaaaaa."

"Reply if you are Mia. Remember our previous talk?"

"I brought you to the hospital. I even showed you a funny yet a bit personal video."

"Is this your phone number?"

"Reply as soon as possible."

"You agreed to it, right? I'm just making sure that you are the person I talked with last time."

"I just got this cell phone number from your id so I'm not sure. If you are not Mia, I'm sorry for the disturbance. Disregard the previous messages and block this phone number immediately."

"If you're Mia, I'll meet at the parking lot of the school."

I felt uncomfortable during the discussion. My phone repeatedly vibrated in the middle of my elective class. Several notifications from his messages made a disturbance in the middle of class as it kept making that notification bell sound. I wanted to cover my face with my hands. Why is he sending me tons of messages?

"Ms. Cali, would you kindly put your phone in silent mode during classes. I'll confiscate your phone and hand it to your adviser if it will keep distracting our lecture."

I felt ashamed as I grabbed my phone and kept it in my pocket. He sent multiple messages at the wrong moment. Why can't we talk in the evening instead? Because of him, I wasn't able to focus on our lecture today.

As the discussion of my teacher was coming to its end, my cell phone suddenly rang and vibrated. I looked at the caller ID and it showed the number Dong-Yul used to contact me.

I raised my hand and waited for my teacher to notice me. "Excuse me, sir, I have to answer this urgent call. I'm sorry for any disturbance I've caused today."

I went out of the room and immediately picked up the call.

"Hi Mia, this is Dong-Yul. Please meet me at the parking lot after your dismissal. We'll discuss some details about the offer I'm going to give you. Look for the nearest black UV near the school gate. I have spoken with your dorm manager and we agreed that you will not be obligated to fill up a gate pass for today under my authority because I asked for permission from your parents. Don't worry because I will ensure your safety alongside with my driver, and will be held responsible for any liabilities."

"How did you even get my cell phone number? You were causing a ruckus during my elective class. But fine, I'll meet you after my teacher ends his discussion. I have to go."

"Alright. Meet you later, Mia." He ended the phone call.

I went back inside, the teacher solving one last question before ending the lecture. I took a picture of all the questions and solutions and grabbed my things the moment our teacher dismissed us.

I rushed my way down. It's 4:57 PM on my watch as I walked outside the school grounds, opened my bag for inspection, and left the school.

I went to the parking lot and looked around. I almost got confused about which UV van is his. There were a lot of black UV vans near the school. He opened a tinted window pane and caught my attention, recognizing him as he flashed his bunny smile. I rode into the car and felt comfortable in the back with the air conditioner on.

"How did you get my phone number?" I asked.

"Oh, you left your student id outside of the dance studio's door on the day you fainted. I wanted to lend it back to you that day but you were a bit irritated with me so I planned on giving it to the staff so that they could give it to you. After sharing my video, I forgot to give it back. That's one reason why I'm here. Okay? No more questions, let me discuss to you further details on the offer I mentioned."

He fixed his posture and said, "As of now, you cannot tell anyone about this. No one! We want to ensure privacy and secrecy with the public for now. And we don't want problems arising from a slight mistake. A single mistake can raise rumors on both of our parts. Am I making myself clear?"

He looked at me with a serious face. I could already feel the tension in the atmosphere.

"Yes sir," I replied straightforwardly.

He shifted his mood with a happy smile. "No need to call me sir. It's a polite way to call me Dong-Yul-sunbae or Dong-Yul-ssi. Know that everything we do after classes is only for work and improvement of your skills. "

He continued, "Let me tell you my opinion on my group's honest condition briefly. We've worked so hard on this path we've taken and we're grateful for our fans and the support they give us. It's just that sometimes, we wanted to rest for a while, you know? This break is a gift to us for a successful tour. And I hope every fan will be happy for us to be in this music industry until the very end."

As he was explaining himself, I felt the pressure for my part and pity for him. It must have been difficult for them since 2015 as expectations became higher. I hope that they'll be alright. Though I'm not one of their biggest fans, I still hope that their vacation is enough for them to rest.

He took a deep breath and continued speaking, "I've already mentioned that I will help you reach your full potential. However, it will take a tremendous amount of time and effort. It might also partially take away your usual sleeping hours and free time since you'll balance both studies and priorities. After your 1st Quarter Examinations, we will fly to South Korea immediately for you to adjust with your surroundings."

We will be going to South Korea already, it seems too early. But, Dong-Yul can only stay until I finish my 1st Quarter so I have less time to learn and practice.

"You'll be advancing to your 4th-year high school level based on the current curriculum of South Korea. Tuition, accommodation, and other expenses are provided by me but if you passed the auditions, the company might provide them for you instead. I'll spend some money on our travel and I'll let you stay in one of my old apartments in the meantime. Yet before we arrive at my place, are you sure that you want to join our company?"

Honestly, I wanted to showcase my talent, but this is not as I expected at all. However, if this is the only chance I have to gain exposure and0 become a singer, then I'll agree.

"Yes. I'm sure." I replied while grinning.

We've arrived in a small yet cozy looking apartment. It's also kept in a secure and safe place far from the city to avoid sasaengs, gossips, and trouble. As we entered the room, I noticed books stacked neatly on the living room's table. Everything looks surprisingly clean. "Pfffft. I've fixed things around here since I knew you were coming."

He reached for the violet folder and lent me the folder with a form. He mentioned that it was his past audition form, only in pure Korean. "Do you have an English version of this?" I asked.

"Oh right. I forgot to bring the English version. Here are the screenshots of the translated version on my phone. It's translated with the Papago app so the translation isn't one hundred percent accurate."

As I received his phone, I scanned every single word under conditions and terms. Everything was written in a formal tone and specific words and a signature at the end of the contract look like PD-nim's. I gave back the contract as he led me to one of the rooms.

We went inside of a tight room where I could hear my vocals echoing back as I speak.

"Okay, so far from what I've observed, one of your strengths is your singing while your weakness is your dancing. I can help you with both but for now, I'll help you improve in your strong areas. Do you have a song to sing in mind? It doesn't have to be a Korean song for now."

I've chosen "All I Ask" by Adele since it is the most recent song that I have sung for the class Christmas party last year.

"Won't we do vocal warm-ups?" I asked, confused.

"I usually do vocal warm-ups before the actual performance but we'll have to find your real voice first and identify your style. Let's hear it in acapella first so that I could check on your voice."

He looked serious as I began singing the song, focused on the voice I'm projecting right now.

This moment reminded me of my childhood days. There would be a mirror and piano so that I can check my posture while singing and read music sheets better whenever I sit beside my music teacher. There were days that I felt joy from the audiences' applause. But after joining the school chorale as I enter high school, my love for music began fading away

He stops me at the end of the first chorus.

"Alright. Which do you want to hear first, strengths or weaknesses?"

"Strengths first please."

"Okay. So far, I have to say that you have a unique voice, one reason why I've picked you. Sweet but soothing. You have a wide vocal range that's why it will be easier for you to reach both high and low notes."

These words made me smile. Sweet but soothing. Unique. It's flattering.

"However, I think you lack a bit in control and power. You also find it difficult to handle dynamics in the chosen song. With practice, I think you will be the main vocalist if you practice more. One more thing, since K-pop songs are always entirely Korean lyrics. I need to teach you some Korean words and phrases before we'll travel to Korea. I'll list a bunch of English songs I know that might help you improve both your strengths and weaknesses."

"Yes sunbae," I replied firmly with a hopeful smile

After an hour of practice, we decided that it is already time for me to go back to the dorms.

"Annyonghigeseyo. Try to practice saying this whenever our lessons are finished and always bow up to 90 degrees, it's a way of courtesy. Also, learn some proper courtesy and customs done in South Korea."

"Alright. Annyeonghigeseyo sunbae."

I rode on the vehicle, looking at Dong-Yul's apartment before we left. I know this will be a major struggle for me because I'm too young to understand the favorable traits of the entertainment world. Starting today, I'll do my best so that I will be able to reach my dreams.

The question popped into my mind. "How did Dong-Yul convince the dorm managers to exempt me from accomplishing a gate pass without being noticed? Did anyone recognize him while he was at the dorms?

***

A memory played in my mind, a piano leaned at the side of the room. A boy playing melancholic music as he pressed the keys on the piano gently.

His fingers began to shake, music stopped as he took away his hands from it. He covered his eyes and began sobbing.

I didn't know why, but I remembered approaching him. I embrace him as I pat on his head and back.

"Sshhh, it was never your fault. It was nobody's fault. The teacher treated you terribly, and DJ defended you even if he knew the consequences."

"No, it is. If I hadn't skipped the parent-teacher conference, the teacher wouldn't try looking for me. My hyungs gave me a reason to live. They made me feel that I was loved. But now, each of them is leaving. I am the only one left studying in this school. Please, don't leave me. I need you because I love you."

"I cannot promise that I'll stay by your side. If I do leave, I promise that I'll find you and come back. Please know that I'm always across the other side, wait for me."

That's when I realized, this memory isn't mine.