Chapter 6

Judderings from a conscious mind, arising from the sudden collision of two surfaces. The outcomes caused by the impact became a rude awakening from ennui and inactivity. Like a child denied its milk for ages, Shade took what she wanted and in momentary weakness, I reciprocated. Cormac McCarthy had been right, truly you only remember what you needed to forget. Feral instincts had me taking the reins and in turn, I backed her against the wall, hungrily claiming and reminding myself what used to be.

She gasped when her back met the surface behind and with that opening, I mashed my lips against hers once more, letting our tongues wrestle together in that timeless moment. Her scent, her taste, everything about her always filled me with carnal desire but fortunately, I still had not forgotten what I needed to remember.

My forehead found hers upon severing our union. The heat could not be easily erased and our entwined breaths were ragged and choppy almost like we had run a marathon but despite all, I felt extremely annoyed and irritated, this wasn't supposed to happen.

"So, this is what you've been up to these days," I began, pushing away from her in a flash but she had looked confused, though I wasn't finished.

"Selling yourself to anyone in a suit." My following words were delivered in a glacial tone. She had to have a taste of what I felt at the moment.

Her cheeks flushed in embarrassment and it was clear she hadn't seen it coming, the loose jaw she now sported had given her away.

"I'm not some whore, Jacob and if-," Shade spat in a ramble just as her face twisted into a defensive snarl and to say the least, I wasn't still near done. I clearly saw the hurt flash through her eyes but still, a disturbing satisfaction filled me at the thought that my words broke through her like she did me.

"Really? But the differences aren't far fetched, Shade," I responded bitterly, letting loose a smirk although a cold look had quickly replaced it afterwards and following that, I steered in the opposite direction.

"Don't be a hypocrite, Jacob. What happened all those years ago was as much your fault as mine!" She raised her voice while following me. I had kept on my tracks towards the door but her words had now tugged at a different string of anger, one I buried for years and at present, it threatened to let loose.

"Was I the one that snagged up the next richest man she could find off the charts?!" I shouted back equally, turning abruptly to face her now. The way our moods changed drastically was perturbing. We weren't always like this, so toxic like gasoline to fire, it all changed that day when everything started.

"You caused everything!"

"Ohh! So I'm now also the one that made you become a pathetic addict," I voiced, wide-eyed in astonishment while gesturing my pointer finger towards me

"For God's sake! Shade, you have a son. It's a goddamn responsibility that you should take seriously for once in your life!" The resonance of my voice was sharp initially but later on, I remembered we weren't the only ones around and my tone modulated into a harsh whisper. I had come straight up in her face now but this time, as a result of anger.

"I stopped using a long time ago," she lied shamelessly, trying so hard not to meet my gaze. A mirthless laugh had been on the verge of erupting. It was unbelievable! After all these years she still couldn't tell me a single truth for once.

"Forget it, you're just despicable," I muttered while a resolute scoff followed. I rubbed my hand through my forehead whilst some seconds later I threw it back. Remaining here was not in any chance a condonable idea and so, I wasted no time in resuming my steps towards the door. I had to get away because the more I stayed, the more irate I became.

The past was not a bed of rose's for it to be constantly rolled upon and recalled. It was something that was best left to lie in the shadows, away from the present with all the mistakes that shouldn't have been made.

"It was Nostalgia," Shade spoke up again when my hand had already found its way to the door handle.

"I just wanted to remember how it felt to be happy and-" she gabbled but I hadn't felt like listening to anymore of the lies and truths, I just wanted to forget everything.

"And what?" I interjected, leaving the door handle while walking a little further inside.

"How it felt to be loved? Because If that's it, you weren't loved then and you still aren't." My words were solely meant to mangle and suppress. I had even topped it with a mocking laugh but in all sincerity, I lied, there had actually been a time when she was loved, obsessively.

I could see the tears betray her will to be strong before me, and they began to drop in turns but even so, I had felt no remorse, she deserved all the pestling first hand.

"I hate you!" Shade cursed in a dulcet tone between the tears but I had heard her clearly, and even though she hadn't intended for me to do so, in the end, I did. Our relationship was indefinable but still, I was certain she didn't hate me, it was somewhat impossible because in spite of everything that had happened, deep down what I felt wasn't hate either, rage definitely but not hate...

I completed my quest to leave this time, having no intentions whatsoever of returning but that was after I had called out to drop a winning shaft.

"And just so you know, desperation has never looked good on anyone, Shade."

...

Finally, I left the rollercoaster ride of emotions which I had always vehemently rebuffed and now, it was time to strategize. I wouldn't allow my father or myself to lose everything, instead, I intended to play whoever I needed to at their own game.

There were two phases to every scenario, what was being displayed as the reality and that which lurks about in the shades of the first. Simply put, there was always going to be the hidden and the unhidden. No one that breathed today could openly say they possessed no single pack of skeletons in their closets. In short, many had secrets that could even cost someone a life. My father had secrets, I had secrets and I knew the Daran's weren't left out in any way in this cycle. One by one, I planned to find them all out, digging up the past with an agenda to destroy.

The first thing I could do was to summon the only person who was perfect in these kinds of things, David Ighodalo. The man was Shenda Corps best, a pool of private investigators located at the heart of Surulere, another city in Lagos. No doubt, if you needed a job done perfectly, he was your guy.

I shoved a hand into my pocket to grab my phone but instead it latched onto something else. When I brought it forth, I had noticed it was the locket I recovered at the hotel's parking lot.

Instantly, I remembered the strange word I had seen inscribed on it and still, I wondered what it had actually been left to convey.

Even from holding onto the little piece, it was almost as if I was hurtled back through time, returning to that same moment. I could remember the events chronologically and vividly as each of them took place. From the scenic view down to the effect of the thick night breeze which I had felt undeniably with the bumps forming on my skin. As I held onto the locket, I re-lived it all.

Appearing to be like I had delved into a different part of myself to find such realism in methods unreal. I viewed the memory through some sort of magnifying glass that had been gifted by my mind. Not even the fading scar at the bottom of her cheek missed my hawking eyes now. What could I make of this and why did I keep recalling them both?

Yes, both, the performer included. In spite of her oblivity to it all, I couldn't forget her no matter how hard I tried to push the moment we shared to the back of my mind. I had been so engrossed and captivated by her unique voice that most times I heard the echo of it somewhere in my head.

But that was that, I needed to stop ruminating and get back to more urgent matters at hand. David picked after the first ring, knowing fully well that if I called it had to be important.

"Yes?" I heard his resolute and void tone speak up on the other side of the line. He always sounded differently on a call, trying at utmost best to keep up with the usual ice-cold work tone.

"Any significant updates?" I questioned, referring to the previous task I had delegated to him.

"I have an unknown lead in Bauchi State. The person was said to have met some of the descriptions."

"So, should I be hopeful of you finding her?"

"One can never be too sure, Jacob. Let's just see how it goes," he responded and in turn, I screwed my eyes shut, blowing out my cheeks afterwards in frustration. His news had once again strangled my hope's further. Years and counting and yet, things still looked bleak.

"Alright, but with that aside first, I have a new job for you," I started and the line went dead silent as he waited for my coming words.

"I need you to get me all the information you can find on Rashid Daran; his business, family, children, relatives and anything else relating to him."

"Definitely, I'm certain you must be aware that we're currently treading unsafe lines. The Northern billionaires reputation doesn't go unheeded, Jacob."

"David, I need those reports urgently. So many things are at stake here, and I trust that you're capable otherwise I wouldn't have tabled this," I explained, hoping he could detect the gravity in my tone. I assumed he took a moment to reflect because he had made no further reply.

"It won't be easy, I must say but you owe me, Jacob," he eventually responded and I had fully understood the meaning behind the last words in his statement. I nodded in reply, forgetting that he couldn't even see me while my hand found the red button right away.