Darkness and Mirror

‘’Stop!!’’ I shouted and shoved his large body backward, his steps falter as he backs away. I stood in front of the guy who was disgustingly bleeding. The guy who beat to his pulp was now breathing heavily and raised his eyes to meet mine with a cold, murderous glare.

The moment our eyes met, my breath hitched. Staring at me were the most beautiful pair of ocean blue eyes I had ever seen, which were cold, but the fire behind them burned with passion. He had defined cheekbones and concrete jaws, his disheveled unruly hair, and his black jacket matched his ‘bad boy' aura. He kept staring at my dull hazel eyes, breathing heavily.

‘’Who do you think you are?!’’ he roared, making me flinch backward. My anxiety level rose, while I clenched my hands into a fist and closed my eyes. The boy behind me whimpered.

I straightened my back and stood in front of him, meeting his ocean blue eyes.

‘’I am just sav-saving him, you cannot just go around beat people like that’’ I stated bravely with no emotion in my voice, yet my fear made me stutter.

I was terrified, but I learned well to hide my emotions.

Before he could say anything else, the boy screamed and scurried away, leaving me with the enraged beast.

He chuckled darkly,

‘’Looks like the one you saved, didn’t mind leaving you alone’’ he added with a devilish smirk.

‘’He was sca-scared, and I don’t need anyone’’ I replied bravely looking into his eyes but looked away when I saw him intensely staring at me.

‘’Next time, if you intervene in my business, you will regret your existence’’ he whispered, stepping closer to me. My heart started pounding in my chest while my hands started sweating, and my vision began to blur.

‘’Am I clear!’’ He roared, punching the wall the right beside my head, while my uncontrolled tears streamed down my face.

‘’I asked am I clear?!’’ he roared once again, inching his closer to mine; his cold ocean blue eyes met mine.

Terror is a feeling of vulnerability and weakness. I was weak; I am weak; maybe I will always remain weak. I'll never forget the person who made me feel this vulnerable last time, and he is the person I will never forgive.

In life, you cannot show people your weakness, because that’s the point they will target to break you down. I couldn't stand up for myself that time, nor am I doing it right now, but I will.

With my tear-stained eyes and a newfound unknown emotion, I stared into his eyes.

‘’I. Will. Not. Stay. Out. Of. Your. Way. If you torture innocent people like that’’ I stated harshly with a glare.

Before he could reply, the doors of a room opened and two old men wearing similar uniforms approached us. I looked away and wiped my tears while he backed away from me.

‘’Is there any problem?’’ one of them asked in their deep, thick voice.

‘’Nope’’ I answered with a smile, ‘’I am new here and this guy here was helping me out to find my room’’ I added and glanced at the devil in front of me, who busy glaring at the security guards but looked in my way furrowing his eyebrows.

I removed my eyes from him and glanced at the guards in front of me, who in return held an expression of astonishment.

‘’Are you sure?’’ one of them asked, raising his eyebrows.

‘’Yeah, hundred percent. Why will I lie?’’ I asked with a small smile.

‘’Now, if you will excuse me. I will go to my room’’ I added sending them a small smile and walked away but took a glimpse of the devil who was staring at the ground but lifted his eyes to meet mine.

Silently conveying me the message that we were not done yet.

Unlocking the door, I slid into it without turning around and glancing at the person whose gaze was digging holes in my back.

I quickly closed the door behind me and unconsciously locked it. Some habits die hard, I thought with a chuckle. Looking around, I turned on the light.

Darkness; it is something I am supposed to be used to, yet I cannot bring myself into it. It’s like a big well where the walls guffaw and slowly chew me up. I, the one drowning, struggle to reach my light through the tiny gaps in the wall where the light would peer inside. But eventually, they will also be blocked, living me alone in the darkness, in the abyss.

Shaking away my thoughts, I plastered a smile on my face. At least, I can pretend to be happy.

‘Smile, it makes you feel better’ someone told me, but I cannot recollect who it was.

I took a peek at my room; it was a small room with a single bed in the center and a wide window on one side, from which the moonlight was shining until I switched on the light. On the left corner was a bathroom which I was thankful for. I thought Vad would have community bathrooms, thank god have attached bathrooms instead. Beside the bathroom was a small closet, and it surprised me to see my suitcase placed right beside it.

‘’That was fast’’ I mumbled to no one in particular.

I strolled the suitcase near the bed and opened it ajar. The first thing that catches my eyes is a picture frame peeking from the corner of the suitcase.

Pushing away all the clothes, I took the picture in my hand.

Smiling, there were two daughters, a father, and a mother. Anyone seeing the picture would think of this as a ‘Happy Family’ which we definitely were.

Flashing her wide grin, my 5-year-old little sister, who was now 7-years-old, smiled on the camera, missing her front teeth. She was on my lap, a wide bright smile was playing on my lips while mum and dad looked down at us softly, dad’s one arm was on my shoulder while the other was on mum’s, my head was on mum’s chest when the beautiful seraphic scene was shot.

A bright, happy, and joyful family; yeah, that’s what we were.

I looked at the scenery, which was at the beach in Hawaii, where we spent our summer 2 years ago. The sun was at its brightest while the sky was clear of clouds, just like our lives were clear of sorrows.

I couldn’t help let out a shaky breath. My eyes were still stinging for crying a few moments ago, but they filled up again with unshed tears.

‘’Go away!’’ Dad’s booming voice echoed in my ears and mum’s bloodshot eyes flashed in my eyes. I was thankful that at least my little sister didn’t need to watch me go away or while all the accusations were called out on me.

I wanted to hate them; because they chose to believe someone else other than who was their daughter. Because they chose to punish me other than the one who was at fault, and that they were alright with sending me away from them.

It hurts, it hurts so badly, that I felt like someone was pulling my heart away from my body. I let out an uncontrolled sob and sat on the floor, leaning against the edge of the floor.

The tears kept flowing without decreasing the pain. They eventually stopped flowing, but the pain remained. Only one question swirled in my mind,

Why did they not choose me?

Was I not worth it? Maybe not.

What was special about me, anyway?

You are their daughter, a small voice in my ears whispered.

Yeah, that’s what I am, I am merely just their daughter, who they preferred not to keep around, I darkly thought.

While these thoughts kept going on in my mind, my tears began to flow again, but this time, the ache in my heart was different, it was the ache for the love of my parents, and it was the pain for my parents’ abandonment.

Despite everything, here I am, sitting alone in a room with my devils and sorrow. Only they are the ones who haven’t left my side, yet.

Wiping my tears, I walked towards the bathroom.

As I stood in front of the mirror, a girl looked in my way. Her milky skin grew clammy, and her dull hazel eyes became duller under the huge dark circles under her eyes. A light gasp came out of my mouth when I looked into her eyes, those eyes which held no emotion and those eyes, which were so lifeless.

A sudden realization hit me making me stand still, that those lifeless eyes, in fact, belonged to me.