Neighbors

Pull out the keys, open the door, walk to the mailbox, take out the envelope, throw away the advertising for some stupid vegan, hipster restaurant, turn around and....

When I turned around I saw one of my neighbors standing just a few feet away from me. The old mean looking woman was glaring at me as if I just had killed her cat.

While starring back at her for a moment, I was mentally going through a list of things that I could have done to make her that angry but nothing came to mind so I cleared my throat and asked her politely if there was any problem.

"I know what you are!" She snarled and pointed a finger at me.

Oh shit! Nobody is supposed to know that. I'm a Grim reaper. If she really knows it I'm so done.

"Miss I really don't know what you mean."

Her face started to turn red and then she said in an furious tone "It's Misses Miller for you and you know exactly what I mean!"

I gulped and tried to calm her down by saying that I was really sorry and that she doesn't need to be scared of me.

She huffed and then looked at me as if she was disgusted with me.

"Ha! Like I'm scared of some little fagott!"

I was completely dumbfounded by that and only managed to get out a shakey "what?"

"You heard me right! I know exactly what you and your disgusting friend are! I would have never thought that the landlord ever would allow people like you to live here! In my time you would have been...!"

Before she could finish her sentence, I  stormed off and slammed the apartment door and shut behind me.

I leaned against the wall and tried to clear my mind.

John and me were just roommates but her words and the way she had talked to me just made me feel sick to my stomach.

Who does she think she is!

Then a plan formed in my mind and a evil grin formed on my lips.

She messed with the wrong guy and now she will feel the consequences.

"Hey John do you still have some of that stinking French cheese?" I yelled as I walked into the kitchen.

"No why are you asking? I thought you hate that stuff." He yelled back.

When I opened the fridge to inspect things, I heard him walking in.

"Are you okay man? You look even worse than normally. "

"Yes I just had a bad day." I replied with a shrug of my shoulders.

"You want to talk about it?"

"Not right now I need to get a revenge on Misses Miller first." I stated while leaning against the counter.

"Oh you mean that racist, old bitch from down stairs?"

"Yes but you forgot the homophobic part." I added.

John gave me a knowing look and then cracked his knuckles.

"So what's your plan?"

Even if John was a huge idiot and annoyed me on a daily basis I still knew I could count on him specially when it came to getting revenge on someone.

"Well I was going to use your cheese to make her entire apartment stink like hell but yeah"

He gave me a unimpressed look and shook his head.

"No. That's too weak. How about we scare her to death?"

"Isn't that a little bit too much?"

"Yeah okay maybe."

For a moment he just stood there when I saw John's face turn into a devilish grin I knew something had come to his mind. He then darted off and just a few seconds later he was back with a big bottle in his hand.

"You are going to turn invisible, sneak into her apartment and then you spill this over her bed and couch."

"Really I'm suppose to spill lemonade on her stuff? Even my idea with the cheese was better than that."

He chuckled and held the bottle right in front of me.

"That's not lemonade."

It took me a moment to understand but then I blandly stated "You are a disgusting pig but for the first time I am glad that I am living with you."

We both laughed and then I took the bottle and did exactly what John had proposed.

I felt way better when I came back and sat down next to him on the couch.

"So do you want to watch the new season of the walking dead with me?"

I just nodded and leaned back.