Existential Crisis

 The rain poured violently on the ninth day since Zeya had been seriously injured. As usual, Varen's room was the only one brightly lit amongst the countless other chambers of the palace.

Work was the only thing that kept him from going insane from all the chaos brewing in his palace.

The tinted windows occasionally rattled due to the heaviness of the weather, along with the ruthless thunders causing chaos amongst the clouds.

 His mind slowly wandered away from the paperwork sitting in front of him and turned to the window beside him.

Rain drops trinkled down the window as soon as it made contact with the smooth surface, turning the scenery turn into a blurry yet scenic mess. 

 Exousia, it seemed, was doing well despite his attention having been elsewhere for the past few months.

Reports from all over the country were sent over to Varen twice a month as a means to keep him updated whenever he was unable to make physical visits to the cities.

Everything was running along smoothly even with his absence, but his heart told him there was something amiss.

 Something visibly changed in Varen when he had first got the news of Zeya being alive.

It was as if something had snapped inside his head, like a switch finally turned on.

He was probably one of the first people to have found out but got to her last, only meeting her by pure luck that one day.

 Lately, Varen couldn't seem to get the thought of Zeya off his mind, and it was starting to make him go mad.

He had initially thought that perhaps he was worried for her well-being.

After all, they were once a pair that was inseparable at one point in their lives; it would've been normal to feel something for her. 

 However, there wasn't anything gentle about this; it was anything but that.

It was similar to the feeling he had lived with before he found out the fact that Zeya was alive.

It was a slow, brewing burn that would occasionally suffocate him because he couldn't get rid of it no matter what he did.

He didn't know how to. 

 The sudden sound of someone barging into the room caused Varen to jerk in surprise, it was his royal advisor, who seemed bothered and on edge.

 "Are we no longer engaging in the action of knocking anymore these days, Ezra?" He began, visibly annoyed by the rude entry.

 "M-My apologies, Your Majesty." He seemed like he ran all the way to Varen's study from who knows where, with beads of sweat dripping down him forehead. "But this is an emergency, we need you right now."

 "What seems to be the problem?" He furrowed his eyebrows, confused by his way of speaking.

 "Empress... The empress has finally awakened." He blurted but Varen remained unfazed, continuing his work.

 "That is good news indeed." He stated without much enthusiasm. "I'll be sure to pay her a visit one of these days but for now, I need you to make sure she is feeling better-"

 "Her Majesty is adamantly refusing to stay in bed." He trembled even more as he saw Varen's expression turn. "I tried to stop her, but it was no use, so I ran all the way here to get you-"

 Ezra didn't even get the chance to blink before Varen rushed out of the room and through the corridors, leaving his room a mess due to his rapid exit.

=================

 "You need to rest, Your Majesty." Nox urged as Zeya struggled to get up on her feet. "The physician specifically ordered that you rest because of how badly you were injured."

 'Nine fucking days?!' The words repeated continuously in her head while her heart racing immensely at the thought. 'I've wasted too much time; I have to get to Lex and the others-'

 She tried her best to ignore the uncomfortably throbbing pain that went all across her stomach, the wounds had already closed up but was still sensitive thanks to her weakened state.

She should've been completely healed by now, but it was evident that the deteriorating state of her health was blocking her from healing as quickly.

 "Your Majesty, please." Nox tried to block the stubborn Roseabelle's path but a quick and threatening glare from her was enough intimidate the poor creature and stop.

 "Where is everyone? Quick, I need to get to them right now-"

 Her orders were interrupted by a loud commotion coming from the corridors of the infirmary.

The door burst open with a loud thud, revealing the culprit behind all the noise. It was Varen, looking directly at Zeya like she had finally lost her mind.

 "What do you think you're doing?" His stern voice was calm, yet Zeya could feel the intensity of it.

 "I need to see Lex." She said while holding Varen's angry glare.

 "You're not meeting anyone until you're completely healed." He denied her request without hesitation, crossing his arms in front of his chest. "Nor are you going anywhere."

 "I don't have time to deal with this nonsense." She whispered as she winced in pain after moving too much. "I need to find that damn book."

 "Where are you going?" Varen question as Zeya limped past the emperor, trying to get to the door. "Zeya!"

 "I am still not finished talking to you." Varen grabbed hold of her arm, preventing Zeya from leaving.

 The Roseabelle looked back to face the emperor with disgust, clearly disliking Varen touching her. Without another word, Varen lifted Zeya off the ground bridal style, successful immobilizing her.

"What do you think you're doing?!" Zeya shouted, visibly distraught and flustered by the sudden manhandling she was receiving.

She tried to wiggle herself free but Varen's grip on her was as hard as steel, locking her in place on top his shoulder.

 "Unless you want those wounds to open up, I suggest you stay still." His voice was stern, like an angry parent scolding a child.

 "I said let go of me!" She demanded as she kicked her feet, her voice echoing throughout the palace. 

 Zeya continued to shout ancient profanities at the unimpressed emperor until sat her back down on her bed with his hands pressing down on hers.

 "Margaret told me everything." He began as he finally set her free by placing her back on the bed that she jumped out of.

 His hands were still firmly pressed on her shoulders to prevent her from getting up.

 As a result, their faces were in close proximity to each other, the tension between the two intensifying by the second.

 "I'm sure that we have much more important matters to discuss than that." Zeya retorted allusively, unimpressed by Varen's move.

 "What could be more important than you almost getting killed?" He retorted calmly despite the rage he felt beginning to brew inside his chest. "Were you planning to take me with you if that were the case? Do you not know that I am also bonded to you?"

 "Just what were you thinking?!" His anger was prominent despite him almost whispering. "Do you know the trouble it would've caused me if you have died?"

 "And how is that my fault!" Zeya yelled with equal intensity, vexed by Varen sudden outburst. "You were the one that brew the spell to make it strong enough to kill me."

 "Have you learned nothing from experience?" He continued on with his rant although it was clear that some of his anger had dissipated. "Why did you choose you put yourself through so much pain for something so trivial-"

 "Don't act like you care." She shut him down, her tone was harsh enough to stifle the air in the room. "It's revolting." 

 "I'm sure it excites you to see me suffer." She spoke harshly with a humorless smirk. "How does it feel to see someone you loathe go through so much, hm Varen?

 "What are we, children?" He was starting to get annoyed now, his grip on Zeya's shoulders tightening. "Can we stop taunting each other for once? Because believe it or not, I'm trying to help you, Zeya."

 "Your friends have been doing all they can while you were healing." He continued to talk; this was his last attempt in getting Zeya to calm down. "There's nothing for you to do anyway."

 "And what is that supposed to signify?" The golden in her eyes swirled as she held his gaze spitefully, waiting for Varen to explain what he meant.

 "That monster... Tvar was its name, right?" He stared at her in a defeated manner. "Its murder spree have surprisingly ceased. We haven't had a single case of a murder since you were out."

 "Even if Tvar has stopped attacking, that doesn't mean it's completely disappeared." She tried to argue.

 "My thoughts exactly." He said amusingly, a faint smile forming as he spoke. "Which is why we're still establishing an inspecting routine across the two countries with both the Roseabelles and Valors."

 "Just give them a chance to do the work for you while you focus on getting better." His voice softened slightly as he said that. "And surprisingly enough, they were willing to work with me, even if they hate me to death."

 "... Fine." She mumbled under her breath as quietly as she could, suddenly averting from his gaze.

 She couldn't believe it, but she felt an immense relief hearing the news. She didn't want to admit it, but Varen was right. Her body was going to shut down completely if she had strained it any further without nourishing it. 

 "Louder." He asked her to repeat her words despite having heard it perfectly the first time.

 "I said fine." She repeated impatiently, attempting to kick Varen away from her. "But at least let me meet my brother. I want to know what happened after I collapsed."

 "I'll let him know but for now, you rest." He nodded as he finally let go of Zeya. "I'll come visit you whenever I can."

 Nox remained by Zeya's bed as Varen left the room, closing the door softly behind him.