Forgotten memories
Relaxing my mind and calming my stream of thoughts, I slowly arched my left arm in front of me and awkwardly opened my palm.
Given that the Dark One had grown accustomed to controlling my left arm, it was the best place to start with channeling the power of the Darkness Element.
"Come forth, Darkness..", I whispered, letting Tsormug know that I was ready.
In correspondence, the Dark One took over control of my arm, and after a brief moment, a dense black fog had manifested, which covered my entire hand.
Despite him being a selfish bastard who had abandoned his people in their time of need, his ability to control the Darkness was truly amazing.
{Now human, I will give you back control. Remember what I had previously told you}
{Imagine the Darkness like a fire that feeds on your deepest and darkest emotions. }
{If you don't supply it with enough emotion it will instead try to feed on you, while if you put too much emotion into it your body will not be able to handle its power and will die}
{But you need not worry, for when it gets too dangerous, I will take over control}
{So just focus on learning how to steadily direct your dark desires onto the Darkness}
For an element that was so volatile and chaotic by nature, it was strange to think that its essence relied on a strict sense of balance.
Therefore, with the safeguard of the Dark One being there to stop the worst-case scenarios from occurring, I began to experiment with my new power.
In the beginning, the peculiar black fog that had materialized in front of me radiated an alluring presence.
Its warmth erasing all my worries...
With every breath I took, the feeling of safety enveloped my body...
My heartbeat, resounding through the strange and somewhat sentient life form...
As if we had become one, my mind turned fuzzy, and my consciousness was pulled inside the Darkness itself...
In an instant, everything around me turned black, with the distant voice of a woman echoing through the non-existing surroundings.
The unpleasant feeling of a warm liquid covering my feet all the way up to the knees took hold of my body.
The heaviness in my legs made it difficult to move...
The voice of the woman was slowly becoming clearer and alongside her, a heavy man's voice could be heard as well.
As their voices became louder and their tone sadder, the murky liquid had risen and by now had reached up to my waist.
-Who are you?
I tried to speak, but no noise could come out of my body.
A tight knot was seemingly blocking my neck.
From behind me, I could discern the crying of a child.
It's pain and anguish making my heart ache and my eyes tearing.
-Why am I crying?
-What is this pain in my chest?
The sorrowful voices of the two people suddenly vanished, and the sound of the boy approaching me from behind started getting louder and louder, until it had finally stopped, at a breath's distance from my back.
Suddenly, a weak and dim light descended from above, and the liquid revealed itself to be an endless sea of blood.
-Where am I? Whose blood is this?
A small and cold hand gently grabbed mine from behind.
With the sight of the child's weak and trembling hands, my mind went blank.
I began to feel cold and my arms started to tremble in the same manner as the child's.
Firmly locking his hands with mine, the boy pulled my arm and guided me towards the deeper parts of the crimson dark ocean.
-Where...where are you taking me?
As the sea's level had almost crossed the height of my chest, strange objects started to drift by me, their form incoherent and their size being that of an arm's length.
Without any warning, the boy stopped, with its body being visible now more than ever.
Its black short hair and its cold eyes filled with pain became awfully familiar the more I looked at them.
-Where have I seen you before?
Without leaving me any moment to think, the boy pointed with his fingers at the distance.
-What do you want to show me?
The bodies of a man and woman were floating towards our direction, with their hands locked together.
Their wounds were becoming more evident the closer they got.
Until they were directly next to me...
With a hollow and unearthly voice the boy whispered:
"mommy...daddy...wake up..."
-No....no it can't be
The faces of the couple holding hands finally became recognizable, with them being my dead parents...
-Stop...stop..
Their brutalized corpses made me undergo the very same traumatic experience I had tried my hardest to hide in the deepest parts of my subconscious.
Memories of the grief and pain I had suffered from their death vividly appeared before me...
-STOP IT!!!
Memories I had forgotten, and that I never wished to ever remember...
The boy, who in the end was none other than my younger self, had remained silent throughout the entire duration, until I finally reached "that" memory...
Its face distorted and its voice turned sinister as it cried out loud...
"I WilL mUrDeR EveRy sIngLe OnE oF tHem!!!"
"....kilL tHeR FaMilliEs!!!"
"...tEaR tHeM aPaRt!!!"
Words filled with hatred were coming out of the boy's mouth...
Thoughts too erratic for a sane person, let alone a young boy...
-...yEs....tHeY dEseRVe tO DiE!
With no rationality to hold me back, my rage and resentment for the corrupt world I lived in, was violently surging through my head.
Only dark and sinister thoughts were present in my mind.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHH!!!"
I began to violently scream, with the pain in my heart slowly disappearing and transforming into deep hatred towards the people who took everything from me.
The names of all those I wished to kill appeared in my head, with the desire to slaughter them, now stronger than ever.
With every sharp breath that left my mouth, the sea of blood was slowly covering more and more of my body.
Until I stopped breathing...
Despite my mouth covered with blood and my need for air, I continued to yell on top of my lungs as hard as I could.
Such was the psychological trauma I had build layers upon layers to protect myself from.
Without any concern for my life, I did not wish to stop.
Inside this place, I had found the opportunity to let my deepest and darkest desires run wild, without a care about the world.
Walking slowly towards my end, and dancing on the edge of nonexistence, I was about to let myself go...
Let go of any worldly limitations and surrender to the flow of the void...
-....
{Human!}
-....
{Human get a hold of yourself!!}
-....
{HUMAN GET IT TOGETHER!!!}
"Gasp...Gough Gough!!! Gough Gough Gough!!!"
The feeling of getting drowned still persisted in my mind, enough to make me choke in reality.
"Fuck!!!"
"What was that?"
{Human...how messed up are you...?}
"Cough cough, what do you mean? Explain what happened, god damnit!!"
{Human...No...Jay Riemman...how can you hold such an amount of hatred inside of you and still remain sane?}
"Don't sound stupid and tell me what the fuck did I see!!"
{I don't know anything about what you saw, but the Darkness has its ways of playing with your memories in order to get you to succumb to it}
{In your case you should be happy I managed to control it on time}
-Why did I have to see that...Fuck...
Numerous emotions were surging my body, with my mind unable to make sense of them.
Living through memories of my past was a terrible experience for me.
But it had also served as a means to remind me of my objective and give me the resolve I needed in order to continue.
"Mother...Father...Your son has not forgotten you..."
Clenching my fists with determination, I opened my dried lips and whispered:
"Darkness..."
{Wait what are you doi-}
And thus I entered the bloody ocean yet again.
....