Chapter 4: Congratulations. Celebrations. Commiserations.

The last week had flashed by. I had learned each of my advisors by name now. All my generals and council for politics with other nations. There was a general ambassador for Aqua, Ignis, Terra and Ventus as well as a war general for any potential altercations within the world, allowing me to direct my Earthen Knights as I pleased if the situation arose. They were the best of the best within our nation after all.

Though I was not allowed to see my mother, father or Gaius before I was crowned, I had managed to convince those around me that they should be sent letters to inform them of what was happening. With the letters, I sent each of them as well as Lami some of the finest foods from the kitchens up here as an apology for disappearing in the way that I did.

Regretful as I was that I would not be allowed to see them, I would have to learn to cope without them. Learning the name of every personal maid that became an attendant of mine felt like torture that would never end. I was told that I need not worry myself over such things, but it would have been so rude of me to not at least learn their names when they were throwing themselves into doing all of this for me.

Not that I had wanted so much attention and eyes on me at all times of course, but it was to be expected of the Queen. Though names would always slip away from me for the most part around the palace, after my encounter with her on the first night I could not have forgotten Adoria. I had wanted to let her know of my appreciation for what she did for me, but I have not found the proper way to show that gratitude yet. I cannot promote someone for simply comforting me, surely? My education on the structure of the Earthen Knights is nowhere near complete enough for such a thing. All I truly know is that she is somewhat of a prodigy to have made it this far up at such a young age. Not that I knew it exactly, but I knew she was not much older than I was.

"Your majesty!"

Getting used to that would take some time. One of the maids was approaching me.

"Yes…"

I took a pause in thought.

"Anna?"

She was the one who had visited me the most frequently. The name was the only thing that had stuck somewhat. Anna did not make a huge impression on me, given her rather bland look. Standing a few inches taller than me, her lean frame and short tousled brown hair gave her a rather plain image, further helped by her plain attire as uniform for the palace.

"A message, along with these fruits picked from the deep forest!"

"A message...already?"

"Well, some already knew of your coronation, your majesty!"

Taking the bowl and the letter from Anna, I had already come to a quick conclusion on who it might have been from. As I had predicted, the small letter was from Flo. As were the fruits. I had to be careful not to tear up and break down again in the middle of the day. I needed to be ready today. But this message, on the old parchment.

To our dear Lutum

We were so shocked when we received the news! Your mother and father were so worried at first! Not that you need worry, we will take care of them while you cannot. Your mother says that she could not be more proud of you and your father adds that you will make the finest ruler in the history of Terra. My boy, Gaius had a simple three words to share with you. I think you will know what they are already. We will all be watching you with bated breath when your time comes this week. You should know that we are all proud of you already. Please take some of the finest berries my husband and I picked as a gift, too. It is food worthy of a Terran Queen.

-Flo

Anger rather than sadness or relief was the first emotion that came to the forefront of my mind. As if I had done anything of note to this point. What had I done?! I told somebody yes! That was it! What was there to be proud of? Nothing! That was what! Nothing! It was foolish to think that something like that could have been genuine! We all knew I was not ready for this position. Reading this letter only amplified these doubts. Besides, if I had become this distraught over a simple letter, what did it mean for my strength as a ruler?

It was a sign of weakness. Naivety. Inexperience. I was not ready. Not that I was sure I ever would be. But everything I had ever thought I known was torn away from me in an instant. I could not simply spend those peaceful days with my family anymore. Instead I had tens of thousands of lives depending upon each and every one of my decisions! It was certain some would perish under my reign. How many would I be responsible for? Even worse, how many would die in defence of me, protecting my life? I hoped the number would be zero, but there had to be those who saw through me and my inexperience. It was likely a glimmer of false optimism and hope.

Anna had seen my face contort and twist and had naturally ended up backing away and getting out of my sight after offering a small apology. What kind of reputation was I constructing for myself already? Today was the big day. The day all was revealed to the public. I could only imagine what kind of things would be said about me.

Before I could be led to through the surrounding town and The Great Oak in the parade, I must wear the proper attire. A dress fashioned from leaves covered me, and the markings were accentuated. The crown I would wear was shown to me beforehand, but it would not be placed upon my head until the end of the ceremony.

It had taken some effort to leave the palace without being bothered, especially with Queen Dahlia accompanying us but the Earthen Knights were fantastic at their jobs. Beginning from the very edge of our town, I knew the route we would take already. The same walks I would take with Gaius. Would I ever be able to walk with Gaius like that again?

Speaking of Gaius, I could not see him in the crowd just yet, but I could imagine I would see him when we ascended the Great Oak. Walking by my side were two of the people I had conversed with the most when I had come to the palace. To my left, a bit further ahead walked Dahlia, giving a bright smile and a wave to everyone who had come to cheer for her presence. A stark contrast to my reception that was met with hushed whispers and nervous glances. I did not need to hear them to know what they might have been saying. To my right, Adoria took massive strides just inches away from me. On many occasions, I felt as though I might have to duck to not be attacked by her flowing ponytail as she whipped her head around on lookout.

As we walked together, there was nothing more I wanted to do than cling to Adoria and beg her to let us not go through with this. Often the case with what my heart held as its deepest desires as of late though, this was not an option unsurprisingly. Coming into view of more of the people as we walked upon the path that would lead us to The Great Oak, I could hear shouts from dissenters.

They doubted not only me, but the Goddess herself. This was something I had known was coming. A stern determined glare my way from Adoria was all that managed to give me the strength to keep my head held high in the literal sense.

"The Goddess must have made a mistake!"

"Someone that young?!"

"That damned tree is a monster, not a divine being, nor an angel!"

"This girl will doom us all!"

One after the other, I could feel abuse hurled at me. Their watchful, judging eyes pierced through my very being. If there were any voices of congratulations, they were drowned out by the overwhelming disapproval of the general populous gathered to watch me.

As we reached the base of the Great Oak, I saw familiar faces for the first time. Gaius and Lami. Gaius had shared his love with me in that letter, but with the burden I now had to carry, would I even be able to afford a luxury like my love? Would I be able to guarantee he would not now simply be chasing my affections for the status and power? Most of all, though…how would it affect him? If we were to be together…he would be the Earthen Father to my Earthen Mother. Though not the ruler himself, would he be able to handle that pressure? I did not know if he could. I feared what it may make of him.

Lami. That girl might have been the only girl in the entire nation with a smile on her face on this day at the parade. The only one celebrating. Not that I could fault her. Had it been anyone else, they would have celebrated too. But Terra and her people were stuck with me, for the foreseeable future. Not only was she perhaps the only one in that crowd with a smile on her face, but she must have been the only one who was not looking at me with either anger or fear.

Gaius…even he was looking on with fear behind his eyes, rather than joy. Part of me felt flattered that he was doing his best to look unaffected by it, but I knew how forced these expressions were by now. Prying my eyes away from the innocence I could see draining from his face, I had to hold back to keep a calm face.

Lami and Gaius were not the last of the familiar faces I would see on my way up. As I ascended the Great Oak, going past Gaius' home I could feel the caring and watchful eye of his mother, who simply gave me a salute. Flo was sending love in her own unique way, but it could not ever outweigh the overwhelming distrust from the majority of the people here. As she saw me reach for her hand, Adoria timed her strides so it was just out of reach. Though I felt more alone than ever before in that moment, I knew that she was doing me a favour more than anything. Not that I thought appearances mattered much by now, but it would have been foolish to make myself look weak like that on coronation day. I would not want to fill Terra with more worry and distrust than was present already.

Despite my earlier complaints about the Goddess, I found myself offering all the prayers in the world to Eden at this moment. I was rather greedy. I asked to go back to an earlier time. To be safe. To be a successful ruler. To keep my love. To keep everybody safe. To lead the nation to prosperity. Who knows if my thoughts and prayers ever reached her? It was not like many could claim that they were ever directly contacted by the gods anyway.

I had not realised how much my thoughts had distracted me until I looked up and found myself back at the Earthen Palace once again. My thoughts had been scrambled and scattered but there was one that stood out to me as I prepared to enter. I had not seen my parents today. I missed them. Were they afraid of hearing what may have been said? Mother could not see, so perhaps it was pointless for her to be there anyway. Though it had left me feeling blue and hurt, it also must have been for the best I reasoned with myself.

Following Adoria and Dahlia in, the palace seemed larger than it ever had before. As if it were a mountain I had no right to be climbing. Leading me to the top of the world. Though I was sure I would not be feeling as though I were on top of the world. Ironically, rather than above it, I felt below it. As if the weight of the world lay on my shoulders. It did not, of course. However, being responsible for the nation of Terra felt just as heavy to me.

Once out of sight and inside the palace, I was led to the throne room by my attendants. The large seat bore a simple design, but seemed comfortable all the same. Sitting down, I awaited my destiny. It was Dahlia who brought me the slab. An artefact containing the memory of all the past four rulers of Terra. It was to be used for guidance and advice in my time of need, I had been told. Additionally, it was tradition to add your life experiences to it on the day of your coronation. Placing my hand on it, I could sense the gaia flowing from it. I could feel the gaia swimming through my energy and leaping into this strange slab of bark. As if painting a picture, there was another likeness added to this strange slab. It was not accurate in the slightest. The only resemblance was the feminine shape of the body carved into the bark, but it must have been me unmistakably, being the 5th addition to it.

"Well done, Miss Sylvari."

Dahlia was standing over me with the slab in hand. As much as it may have been tradition for the former ruler or one who had a connection to them to perform this part of the ceremony, I wished it could have been someone else with all my heart.

"Now we go outside to have the crown placed on me in view of the people, yes?"

"You've got it, my dear!"

Hearing Dahlia call me that simply felt wrong. Satisfied with my answer though, we all made our way back outside. Much to my surprise, none of the crowd who had gathered today had dispersed. It seemed whether they were fond of their new ruler or not, they wished to witness this history. History I had never expected to be a part of. Not like this. Closing my eyes, I kneeled down at the peak of the Great Oak.

Within moments, I could feel something being placed atop my head. The plants woven around the fine wood made it obvious what it was, though it would only ever have been the one item today. The crown felt heavier than anything I had placed atop my head before, though I was unsure if that was a physical presence at all.

Opening my eyes and rising to stand again, my body moved on its own. I raised my right arm to the heavens, as if I had just been declared the victor in a fight. From my Earthborne affinity, I could feel a flower bloom from my hand.

Dahlia blared out with her magic that I was the new Queen.

Queen Lutum Sylvari.

A lot of little girls dream of being a princess. Much fewer dream of having the responsibilities of a Queen. Much less the Earthen Mother.

This was surely my worst birthday ever. Eighteen years of age, the youngest Queen to have ruled Terra in its history so far. Much to my surprise, as I struck this pose it was not only dissent that answered it. That is not say the response was positive. But silent for almost all who watched on. In fact, the only one who made noise that I am certain made noise of their own volition was Adoria letting out that same battle-cry as before just behind me.

In fact, I did not hear dismissals or cries of lunacy as I stood before my people as Queen for the first time. It was difficult to tell if it was through fear or from a place of acknowledgement, but some even imitated my gesture. Raising their right arms towards the sky, fists closed allowing their elemental affinities to bring what I thought were signs of hope. Flowers bloomed. Water sprung from fingertips. Small glows of light among the crowd were visible from the raised fists. This must have been the first time I saw Light-Touched affinities in person, given their rarity. Not that I would have much to chat about today.

It was not pride I felt turning back to my new home, however. Nor did I leave to any kind of noise at all. Once I had made my way back inside, I hid myself away in the chamber that had been presented to me as the new Earthen Mother. In material things, it had all I could have wished for. What it did not possess was the spirit and feeling of home. It still represented change and a time of pain that I was not yet accustomed to, though it would have to serve as my new 'normal'. If it could be called as such.

Though I had been dragged outside a few times within the day for official business, I resolved to stay inside my room for as long as I could as I mulled over what happened today. Bringing my knees closer to my body as I sat, I placed my arms around them and pulled them towards me as I peeked out the window, watching the time go by. The birds I was watching had flown away and I was soon left staring at nothing, feeling an emptiness inside. It was not until the sun had long set that the door swung open.

Standing in the entry to the chamber, unannounced was Adoria. She had let hair down for once and traded her usual full oaken armour for a simple brown dress and bare feet. Even with the simple garb on, Adoria looked beautiful. The moonlight gave her a spotlight as she stood in the doorway, holding a silver platter with a small metal lid covering the contents of it in one hand. She was not smiling, but she seemed relaxed for having just come into the Queen's chambers unannounced.

"I knew you would still be awake, Lutum."

I had thought she would have switched to "Your Majesty" by now, but I was ever so grateful that she refrained from doing so.

"What time is it?"

"The sun has set and only the night shift of the knights are still awake. Far too late is what time."

"Then what brings you here? I cannot imagine it is something terribly important with your demeanour right now."

"It is very important, actually. You know, Your Majesty. Usually on a celebration like today, a great feast is held."

"The coronation? Why was I not told of this earlier?"

I could feel some anger rising within me by now. Had I failed another test of leading Terra already? Would that have been two mistakes like that within the week?

"No. The Queen's birthday."

Shock and surprise quickly replaced my anger. This was the last of what I had expected today. I had made sure I did not tell anyone within the Palace that it was my birthday today.

"You knew?"

"Yes. The information came with a gift from somebody you knew I believe. Now, it is tradition that the Queen herself partake in some of this feast, naturally."

Adoria did not wait for a response to sit down with me and lifted the lid off the platter before I could even utter a thank you for her kindness. This was not what I had expected upon our first meeting. I thought she would be a lot more serious and sterner than this.

Instantly, I knew who had sent this. It was obvious when I saw that it was a large fruitcake. I had picked some of the berries that lay atop it with Gaius before.

This was not something I had expected, though I should have seen it coming with the messages of support Flo had given me in that letter delivered before. Quickly resolving to write back to her as soon as I could, I picked up one of the forks lying atop the platter and brought it down upon one of the finely separated slices of the cake before bringing it to my mouth.

I had never thought a simple treat could make me feel so homesick.

"How is it, Lutum?"

"It tastes like home."

Foolish as I felt in that moment, I only spoke from the heart when I said that. It brought me memories of a simpler time. It had felt quite silly to be as nostalgic as I was over a time as recent as a few weeks ago, but that was simply how I felt.

"That's good. I'm sorry that the food was late. I had to attend to some errands."

Hearing Adoria speak of errands quickly brought me to a realisation.

"Hold on, Adoria. You have been referring to me as Lutum. In addition to that, you are not in uniform. Under the rules that I have not had a say in yet, are those things not strictly forbidden?"

Not that I had wanted to expose Adoria's actions to anyone else, but I did fear the implications others may have inferred from this if they had heard or saw her.

"Don't worry, Your Majesty. Lutum. I would usually stick to protocol, but things are a bit different today, no? It is your celebration after all."

"I suppose that is true but-"

"Besides, I am off duty right now."

That was something I really should have seen coming. It was such an obvious loophole. What I could not get over was the kindness that Adoria insisted on. This had not felt natural. She had only known me for a week by now. What had I done to deserve this? I had barely learned the names of the staff around the palace, let alone set any example to those who would serve me from now on. It must have been an uninspiring sight for Adoria to have seen me break down the way I did last week. Yet here I was again, feeling like I might just repeat the past only a week after the first events. Not able to hold the thoughts back, I voiced my queries.

"Adoria."

"Yes, your majesty?"

"Lutum…Lutum will be fine. We do not need to worry about the protocol so much when you are off-duty, as you said. Why. Why have you been so kind to me?"

"With all due respect, Lutum. I think things like this may be necessary so that we don't have the spirit of our new Queen broken completely on her very first day."

Pity, then. I should have expected as much. I had not done anything to impress her, obviously. Though there was a part of me filled with disappointments and that wanted to offer a rebuttal, no words escaped. Slowly, I raised my hand as if to suggest something else but I quickly changed its course to reach for the food instead.

"Besides. I don't know about you, but I don't think I know anyone else within these walls as close to my age as you. You must keep what I say next to yourself, okay? It would be strictly against the protocol if I were on duty."

Offering a small nod was all I could do. Adoria preceded her next words with a small fit of laughter. It was hearty and cheery, loud but a wondrous sound nonetheless.

"Between you and me, everyone else here is so boring. All it is with them is 'Hello Adoria, please report the situation in this sector of the palace' as if I had not told them an hour prior! That and all the royal decision making bores me to tears."

"But you are not bored to tears speaking with the Queen? I may be asking you these very same questions sooner rather than later…"

I trailed off, trying to find a way to complete the thought but could not quite manage it before Adoria dismissed it with a wave of her hand.

"You're not boring, your majesty. Far more an interesting person than anyone else I've seen set foot in these halls. Someone I may even be pleased to call my friend."

"What makes that so?"

"Everything, your majesty. The youngest Queen we've ever had for one thing. Beyond that, I have been witness to your raw emotions and insecurities. There is much I would like to learn about you, but that must wait. For now, I would like to keep eating and enjoying your big celebration."

"Adoria…"

I started an incomplete thought again. The more I saw of her, the more Adoria felt as though she was someone that I had known my entire life. She was not afraid to speak to me so casually, nor was she intimidated by or worried for me. This woman simply wanted to offer help and support. Before speaking, she simply sat down and took my hand in hers, giving it a firm squeeze. Once again, I had been brought to tears, though for different reasons. When she wrapped her hand around mine, the warmth felt as if it had leaped not only from my hand, but into my heart. Despite the large battle scar decorating her face, the aura she gave off was so comforting. One sentence calmed down a lot of thoughts I had been mulling over on this day. It was as if my worries were beginning to wash away, even if it was just for tonight.

"You're welcome, your majesty."