I will marry him

28 March 1747

[Yongqi's POV]

Today is the night before the 3rd Princess, Hejing of First Rank's wedding. She is Mother Empress's birth daughter and the first Princess to survive into adulthood. K'anggan and I have been tasked to keep her company for her last night in the palace while Mother Empress took care of the final preparations for the big day.

For the 100th time, 3rd sister thumbed through her favourite collection of poems written by Du Fu, the poet saint, legend of the entire Chinese history.

"Palace beauties have turned into yellow dust,

And what's more, scattered are their powders and paints.

Where once they awaited a glorious golden chariot,

Now, of those things, only the stone horse remains." she recited as she flips to a random page of the book.

"3rd sister!" I exclaimed. "It's your wedding, not a funeral."

"Yes, indeed. How can I feel joy?" she closed the book and reopened it to another random page. "You are still young, Yongqi."

I looked at K'anggan as he maintained his silence. Memories of her wedding announcement flooded my head.

"By the will of heaven and the will of the Emperor." Head Eunuch Feng paused for a second before continuing.

Hejing was with the Empress having tea at the Everlasting Spring Pavilion when the Imperial Edict came for her. Jittering, she took deep breaths to maintain her composure to get onto her knees to receive the edict. In her mind, she knew very well, nothing good would come out of this announcement. She had just turned 16 a couple of months ago and the Emperor has hinted of searching for a suitable marriage candidate to be her prince consort.

"What is supposed to come, will come for you." the Empress held her hands with hopes to lend her some strength and support to face the unknown.

"Let's kneel together." she squeezed Hejing's hands.

"General Septeng Balijur has proven to be a honest and loyal man, worthy of my trust and consideration. Born of the Korchin subclan of the Borjigin with Korchin females holding Empress titles with the Emperors precedent, direct royal descendants of the great Genghis Khan. I hereby betroth my 3rd Princess, Hejing of First Rank, born of the Empress to General Septeng Balijur of the Korchin Borjigit Clan of Mongolia."

At this point of the announcement, Hejing had already turned a pale shade of white.

"Gurun Princess Hejing*,receive your edict" Head Eunuch Feng ended his announcement to hand over the scroll to her.

With jittery hands and raspy breaths, she took the scroll with her hands above her head. "Thank you, Father Emperor." with that, she fainted.

For the weeks following the announcement, Hejing fell very ill. Septeng may have the rank of a General with the great Qing now. But he has grown up with a golden spoon where everything is handed to him without the need to fight hard for it. He had more privileges than any other aristocrats as his family holds the highest power and influence in Mongolia. The Emperor has shown him great favor, treating him like his own son.

In front of everyone, Septeng is an honest, dependable person. However, deep in her heart, she knew that Septeng is an arrogant prick - that side of him he almost revealed accidentally to her but she was too quick for him to hide.

"You will one day be mine." he taunted her with a wink.

She shivered at the memory of the last sentence he said to her.

She thought about her love of poems, about the laughter she had with the 5th Prince and K'anggan, discussing endlessly poems of Du Fu. She thought about her dreams of travelling to the grasslands of Mongolia and being free riding a horse without caring about etiquette or being graceful.

"How can I ever live with him, Mother Empress?" Hejing cried into the Empress's arms as she climbed out of bed.

"Hush….don't let your Father Emperor hear that." she stroke Hejing's head gently.

"The walls have ears." she cautioned.

"Women of the Imperial family enjoy great privileges. With extraordinary privileges, comes extraordinary sacrifices. This marriage is a renewal of alliances between us, the Aisin Gioro family and the Borjigins who have been the biggest factor of our ancestors taking over the entire China. It has been our tradition since our founding fathers. You must not break the alliance." she paused for a moment for Hejing to take a sip of water.

"A woman must marry when she comes of age, just as a man will take a wife when he comes of age.This is the natural order of things. A marriage will not prevent you from being my filial daughter."

Hejing calmed herself down to think for a moment.

"I want to see Father Emperor." she straightened her robes as a light bulb went off in her head.

Since there is no way a royal order can be defied, the best way to tame the arrogant prick would be to make use of her status as favourite daughter to charm the Emperor to grant her a residence within the capital for her and her Prince Consort. Under the watchful eye of so many, his behavior would be kept in check and balance.

As she walked out of the meeting with the Emperor, she knew she had gotten more than what she bargained for. In addition to her terms of having her residence located within the capital, the Emperor has also granted her never before privilege of being able to return to visit the palace after a year of the marriage. For Princesses who are married, the law states that they can only return for a visit after 10 years of marriage and that is only if the Emperor permits.

"Then, I will marry him." she said as she watched the Emperor put a stamp on the written agreement to her.

"So, how can I be happy over a marriage built on the foundation of agreements?" she asked me again for the 3rd time.

For the first time, I feel that my life is stringed like a puppet. Marriage is forced upon a person for the benefit of the Empire. I share my woes with K'anggan who agrees with me wholeheartedly.

I watched silently as 3rd sister started reciting her poem again.

"Palace beauties have turned into yellow dust,

And what's more, scattered are their powders and paints...."

2 July 1997

[Elizabeth's POV]

Being the public enemy of the school since Hannah's passing is starting to take its toll on me. I wished that it would be like books and movies that someone would punch me in the face or anywhere else and I would have a legitimate case to lodge a complaint with the school disciplinarian board. But the girls are cunning. For 1 year, I had failed to pinpoint the culprit or culprits behind my misery.

It all started from returning to class after recess to find my homework erased. It was done hastily with eraser dust lodged in the spine of the workbook and traces of my homework can still be seen.

As time progressed, the erasing had become a lot more thorough with barely any marking left on the pages of assignments. Sometimes, my stationary would be stolen and there would be nothing that I can use to write with for the rest of the day. As I am now in Year 3, the school mandated for us to submit our assignments with the writings in pen ink instead of pencil. Just when I thought that the nightmare is over, my homework is erased with correction fluid. There were times, pages of the workbook would be stuck together as the fluid did not dry completely when the book was closed.

I felt silly to be dragging my school bag with all my belongings everywhere I go. To recess, to the washroom, to lunch…..Not only I would stand out, my shoulders would be sore from all that carrying. Yet, those perps would still be able to find an opportunity to do their deed. It takes a gym class to realise that I can't always be looking out for my school bag. Homework still gets erased. I tried adding a padlock to the zip. Didn't work. I came back to see my bag slashed open by a pen knife. Yup. And homework cut up too.

Perhaps at this point, it might feel pointless to submit any homework or to attempt to try doing them at all.

"Rarely a complete piece of homework!." The teachers have already started to believe that I was trying to gain attention from them in an unhealthy way. I was sent to stand outside the classroom for the remainder of the lesson as a form of punishment.

"It's the learning that counts." Yongqi encouraged me. "The teachers will realise that it would be impossible for you to do well in your exams if you had been failing to do your homework regularly."

The last period would be my first catechism lesson with Sister Angeli. It is a bi weekly class held in the school chapel that is compulsory for Year 3 and Year 4 to attend. I have always loved the peaceful feeling that the chapel gives me. It feels welcoming with the doors always kept open for students to pray whenever they wanted. I opened to my favourite verse of the bible in the seat pocket in front of me as I decided to stay longer.

""Let there be light" and there was light. God saw that the light was good, and he separated the light from the darkness. God called the light "day", and the darkness he called "night." And there was evening, and there was morning - the first day." I read the verse out aloud, letting the echo of my words bounce in the chapel and land on me. It felt as if God dropped those words from the sky to me.

I prayed to God for a chance to have a fresh first day. Everything about my life is so wrong, except for my encounters with Yongqi. I felt the formation of the seed of anguish in my heart, starting to take root.

As I walked out of the chapel to grab my school bag to leave, I found it in the trash bin with mealworms alive and crawling. The time it took for me to clean out the bag caused me to miss the school bus. I looked for a payphone to dial home for help. No one picked up.

"Looks like it is going to be a 1.5 hour walk home under the scorching hot sun." I sighed.