Chapter Two

Highlow here's to a new trashy chapter! :3 Hopefully you like. WARNING this may include some cutting scenes and OTHER stuff so yeah…

I honestly don't know how I made it home. My knees felt like jello and my heart was racing so fast. The blood was still coming from my nose when I walked in the door. I wiped it off with the back of my hand, and walked to my father's room. The hall seemed to expand with every step, or maybe the door grew closer, I'm not sure. My lungs closed and my breathing became harsh and wavered. I tried to keep my breathing regular but now air was passing through. Damn it Jason! Not now. This is a bad time to have a panic attack! No air was going in and I fell against the wall. My brain screamed at my lungs to breathe, and I took in a small amount of air. I need a happy thought to calm down! NOTHINGS happy about my life! I try to remember the days when it was my and my older brother. Him telling my nothing was impossible, that we'd stay together no matter what. The tears come without my consent. This isn't happy! My brain instantly shifts to second before arriving at my house. The brown hair, brown eyes. His dimpled smile. More air reaches my lungs. I take another breath. Soon I'm back to normal, but my feet turn me around sending me to my own room.

After about an hour I've finished my homework, and like always im sitting alone in my room waiting. The person I waited for doesn't come today which is surprising. The scene from earlier replays in my head. Why did he help me back up? My nose flares in pain, and the world spins for a bit. I silently get off the bed and walk to the kitchen. I don't hear him in his room. I continue to the kitchen only to see him there.

"Hay Jason, I didn't hear you come home"

"Hi dad"

"What happened to your nose?" He moves closer to me, putting his hand on my cheek to get a better look at my nose.

"N-nothing" He looks at me with a questioning glance. He moves my head up. I know what's happening. I pull away. Anger shoots in his eyes, he grips my arm pulling me in. He moves his lips to mine. I whimper and struggle against him. He growls against my lips. He's done this since I was little, you'd think i'd gotten comfortable, but I know there's something wrong with this. He grips by arm tighter, that's going to be bruised later. He bites my lip, wanting me. I gave in, there's nothing I can do. I move my lips with his, and he groans in pleasure. He pulls away for air and lets me go. He walks away. My stomach groans in pain and whatever I had for lunch moves up into my throat. I rush to the bathroom and it comes out. After I clean myself up. I go back to the kitchen, grab ice for my head, and head back to my room.

The next morning I woke, got ready, and was almost out the door when I was pulled back.

"Dad!?"

"Were you off in such a hurry?"

"I-i hav-ve s-school" I didn't notice the bottle in his hand, until glass was cutting across my face. I screamed in pain as my eyes burned from the alcohol, and the deep cuts that were now dripped blood.

"You ungrateful little shit, you never say bye to me, or that you love me! It's like i'm not even here! After everything I did for you!"

"I-i'm so-sor-ry i-i-"

" just leave!" he walks away. I rush out the door, tears and blood streaming down my face.

When I reached the school, the bell rang. Now i'm late. I ran to my first class, pulling up my hood covering the cuts, then opened the door. Mr. Ricks was in the middle of saying something as I came in. He looked at me, and so did the whole class.

"Mr.Summers you late"

"S-sorry" I turn around, to get a late slip.

"Your fine. I haven't taken role" he points to my seat.

"Th-thanks" I keep my eyes down as I take my seat. I feel eyes staring at me. I look up and to the right. Brown eyes catch mine. I lose my breath. He looks concerned. I look away, wiping blood off my face.

I feel his eyes on me all day. We have most of our classes together, but it feels like he's following me. At lunch I hardly eat. I feel eyes with boring holes in my back. I turn and I'm stuck in glaring black eyes. My mind races. Where did he go? Why's Josh staring at me? Why's he coming closer? My throat closes up and I can't breath. He's coming closer and I can't move.

"Hay, runt"

"..." oh god I've gone mute!

"Oh it's ok you don't have to say nothing!" he laughs.

"Josh! What are you doing?" Shivers role off my body.

"Oh come on, Alec. I know you liked hitting him yesterday! Unless you're just as weak as he is" Josh growls at him.

"Look Josh stop picking fights! You're going to get expelled! AGAIN!" Josh's face is red as he thinks. or maybe he needs a toilet, I can't tell. He grabs my shirt and throws me at Alec. he catches me as my impact on him didn't even affect him.

"You want this toy? You can have it" he huffs and leaves.

"Are you OK?" I nod, still not able to find my voice. "Hey it's OK, breath!" I didn't realize I wasn't. My body was shaking and I wasn't getting enough air. He held my arms making me whence and gasp for air. He let go. I don't know what came over me, but the next thing I know my arms are around his body. I listen to his heart beat in his chest following the rhythm trying to calm myself. It works and i'm breathing regularly again. His arms slowly link them selves around me. I pull away from him, and he looks in my eyes.

"Are you good now?" again I nod, my voice still gone. The bell rings again and I'm out of there, leaving him behind.

After school, Josh met me at the school gates.

"You think you can get away that easily!?" he smirks at me. "You think you can take Alec?"

"What!" oh gods! I said that out loud!

"You think I don't know what you're doing?" I take a step back

"I-i'm n-not doing an-anything" he steps towards me.

"I'll beat the crap out of you, if i see you with him" I nod and run past him.

Crap i'm going to be late! He hated when I was late, it never turned out right. Sweat dripped down my back and my body shivered. I reach the house. The outside looks normal. Like a family lives there. Maybe a husband and his wife, their two children, they love both equally, but the outside is an illusion. The inside is broken, stained, empty and cold. I close the door carefully, to not make a sound, and turn. My breath catches in my throat.

"Why are you late again?"

"I-i um be-ca-"

"Come here" his tone is soft. I take off my bag and slowly move towards him.

"NOW!" rage blows the calmness away. I flinch and move faster. His hands reach out and grab my hips, pulling me on his lap. His eyes are bloodshot and his breath smells of booze. I shiver. His long fingers brush over the deep gash on my face he made that morning. They move across my lips and into my hair. He presses his lips against mine. I whimper but comply. He tastes like beer as his tongue runs across my lip. I open a bit and he enters my mouth running this tongue across my teeth and gums. Tears spill from my eyes, and I start pulling away. He pulls me closer and runs his hands in my shirt, and up my back. He moans and I gag. He pulled away just to slip my shirt off. Cold air hits my back and I shiver. He locks our lips again, moves his hands down my back, and cups my butt picking me up. A sob escapes my mouth, as I continue to cry. I feel him moving around the house. He pushes me against a door, pain flares up my spin. He opens the door and throws me on the bed.

"P-please d-don't-t i-i c-c-"

"Shut up. I don't want to hear it!" his voice is sharp, and I flinch. He slips off his own shirt, and starts unbuckling his pants. No no more! It hurts too much! I make a run for the door, jumping off the bed as he throws his pants on the ground. He turns as I reach the door.

"And where are you going?" be drags me back pulling off my pants along with my boxers. He flips me over, with ease. He kisses down my back, and starts biting, leaving marks. I beg him to stop. Then I feel him slide into me. I scream in agony. Begging him to stop. He doesn't. He thrusts his hips faster. I continue to scream as my vision blurs. I hate this. I hate me. I hate my life. Why did she leave. She made him sane. I feel him let go inside of me. He pulls out and steps back. My body shuts down and I fall to the floor. He grabs my head, by pulling my hair, getting me on my knees.

"Do it! Then we're done" we've done this before, so I know what he wants. I don't want to do it. But I have to. I slowly take him in my mouth, swirling my tongue like he taught me. He shoves my head, and he hits the back of my throat, making me gag. Tears keep coming as I continue to swirl and suck . He moans in pleasure, and liquids spill down my throat.

"Drink it!" I force it down and he pulls out. I fall to the ground, crying, hurting, and shaking. He runs a hand through his hair, and mutters something about me being weak and useless. He gathers his clothes and leaves the room. I force myself up, grab my cloth, and limp to the bathroom. Once I'm in I shut the door, and puke my guts out. I turn on the shower and wait for it to get hot. Looking at the mirror, I hate what I see. My hair is a mess, and looks all dirty. My whole face is tearstained and drained. I reach for my left eye, and pull out the green contact lens. My father's blue one looks at me. My hand travels down my neck touching the small bruises made by his mouth. I shudder feeling more dirty. The water is so hot that steam fills the room. I can't see myself, thankfully, but I can see my defected eyes. Dull blue and empty, its the same for the green. I look away and step into the water. It's boiling hot, but I don't mind. The pain feels better than what I just felt. I scrub until my body is red and raw. Tears flow like the water above me. I scrub dirt and grime out of my hair until my scalp hurts. Then I stood under the water letting it run down my body. My hand reaches for a small blade in the corner of the shower, thats stained with blood. This pain is better. I place the blade against my skin and run it across my wrist. Red instanly trails behind it, tracing over faded lines. Words tumble out of my mouth, making me shake.

Your Useless

Your the reason she left

Your a disgrace

You should have never been born

Your a freak

You'll never be loved

Tears fall and my vision is a blur. I drop the blade, and wash the cuts. It burns, but I don't care. I turn off the water, dry off, and put on fresh clothes. Walking back to my room, the Spare Room's door is open. There are chains attached to the head of the bed, luckily he didn't use them. The room is dark and smells rancid. I can hear my own screams that are stuck in the wall. I didn't realize I wasn't breathing again. I slammed the door shut, and ran to my room. I bury myself in my sheets. I fall asleep letting the nightmares consume me.

I'm crying ( ༎ຶ⌑༎ຶ ). This hurts me to write! So this was a lot longer than the last ones. I'm sorry if I made anyone cry! I don't have words so bai! Thanks for reading! :3