Feeling Nothing

Ramier's face turned stern as he recalled the clown. The clown's identity was still a mystery to him. Centuries have passed, he didn't know is still alive. He tried to search for the clown. There was no trace of his existence.

He wondered where the clown was now.

Like the first time he met him, he wanted to ask the clown some questions.

How did he know that he had the power of ice? And why were his words accurate. Like what the clown said, he turned into a monster... He had lost everyone he loved because he was a monster... 

The only person he loved. 

How did he predict what happened?

He wanted to ask him all those questions. But the clown he disappeared, like he never existed.

Ramier sat on the bed, now in his robes. His hands were clutching the sheets. However, he instantly removed his hand when he saw that the sheet was covered with a thin layer of ice.

His face turned cold. 

Why wasn't the ice disappearing yet? This power of his would be concealed everytime he wished for it to be. It seems as if it isn't listening to him anymore. 

He looked at his hands which were now covered with frost. 

'Disappear.... Disappear.' he will in his mind. 

The frost that was spreading to his arms, now started to retract. Slowly returning back to the center of his palm, then finally disappearing. 

He sighed in relief. 

This would be a big problem in the future if he completely lost control of it. 

He stood up and looked to peek at the window. The sky was still dark. The time he fell asleep in his tub was also very short. He didn't plan on sleeping again afraid that the nightmares would resurface. 

He only had those nightmare when he sees the rose garden or is reminded of 'that woman' . He would have those dreams continuously which make him suffer for countless nights. After he got busy with the kingdom and got distracted with Kingdom matters, the dreams started to disappear and would only occur less. 

But he knew it was still there in the corners of his mind, dwelling and waiting for an opportunity to haunt him once again. Each time he would have those nightmares, he loses control of his hidden power. Fortunately, it was still manageable. 

Now....however, he can feel how restless it was. 

He wondered why... What was the reason behind this? Why was it so desperate to come out and reveal itself?

Ramier changed his clothes and decided to replenish the power source of the whole kingdom. He decided that today was a good time. This could also help him relieve his anxiety, as well as lessen the burden of his ice powers. It was better to focus in his lightning quirk. 

He went out of his room and walked through the halls with an expression he didn't usually wear. An expression that truly revealed what he was really feeling inside. 

A face emanating a chilling aura...cold blooded...truly dangerous. 

He went out of his palace and stood up in front of the large expanse of grassland, eyeing the last window on the left of a building not far away. The wavering curtains could be clearly seen from the slightly opened glass windows. Even the night was a bit breezy... Cold...even.

His eyes just wandered to that direction for a bit, before he glowed and turned into a streak of light, disappearing to the sky. 

**********

Ashley suddenly woke up in the middle of the night. She looked at her slightly opened window and felt a chill to her spine, as if someone was watching her. 

Why was it so cold tonight? Like the wind was laced with frost and was slowly creeping up to her. It was really weird, making her feel really uncomfortable. Wanting to get rid of the unpleasant feeling, she decided to cut off the source of it. 

She went to close the window so she tried to stand up from the bed. However, her legs wouldn't even dare move an inch. It was like it was tied to the bed. Even her limbs were unresponsive. She was baffled as to why she couldn't move. 

A sense of foreboding flooded her mind. This feeling was all too familiar to her. It was the feeling she has been in before. The condition she had gone through for three years. 

The numbness and paralysis started to come back to her. It felt like she was under excruciating pain contrary to what it was to be like... Feeling nothing. 

The insensibility started to spread from her legs to her scalp. She can't struggle like she was trapped in a box with the exact same size as hers, not giving her enough space to move. 

Why was this happening to her? What—why wasn't her body moving? This... Was she dreaming all this time? Was this all a lie?

She was back to her old self. Expression, blank, as she stared into the ceiling of her room. 

No! 

She wanted to shout. 

No! 

Please! 

'Someone get me out of here!' 

No voice came out of her mouth. She realized how those three years deeply traumatised her, to the point where she almost turned insane. 

"You deserve it, you murderer..." a faint voice whispered against her ear. 

It was a voice coming from a young lady. It sounded sweet but she knew that it was filled with sorrow and resentment. 

'Rebecca.'

 She wanted to call out to her. 

Recalling that name was like seeing the ghost that haunted her appear for the first time. It was an existence who made her recount her fears... The root of all her suffering, was the one who she made to suffer. 

'I didn't—It was an accident Rebecca. Please let me go.' 

She wanted to say. 

The voice seemed to have heard her pleas and replied. 

'Death will never have an excuse. You killed me!' 

Ashley felt like she was slowly sinking into the abyss. The voice which was faint started to become clearer to her. The words she whispered were all the same. A word she loathed to be called. She wanted to tell the voice to stop but her head was ringing. 

The whispers weren't giving her a chance to retaliate. It wanted her to feel the spite and hate she truly deserves. 

'Murderer...' the voice whispered again.