The Mouse, The Fish and The Pig

The 'flower's' name was Petunia, she was the 'grand old' age of twenty four. Though to a modern man like Russell, whose age was only a digit above her, the girl was in the prime of her youth, she was a bit past it as far as those in her own era were concerned.

She'd hinted that this was all the doing of her stepmother, but from what Russell understood from all the pitiful tales that she'd use when whining about her current position as a Pirate slave, she'd attracted many suitors that intended to propose marriage to her younger half-sister. Only, when her stepmother as instigated by her father, brought a few of these to her attentions, there was always an excuse; he's too old, he's too bald, he's not wealthy enough, he's too ugly...

In their country, it had been traditional to marry off the eldest daughter before the marriage of the younger daughter could take place. But with this eldest daughter waiting for a Prince Charming that failed to appear, the stepmother was probably beginning to get desperate. After all, her own child was about to be forced to become a spinster due to age...

Moral of the story; you get what you paid for... Er.. no that didn't sound right? Karma's a bitch? Whatever. It was Petunia's own fault that her stepmother got pissy and convinced her old man to send her to a nunnery.

In all honesty, Russell didn't give a damn about Petunia's life history. She was alive and well and the Pirates really weren't treating her badly. She should think about his own suffering for a change.

"Go get me water, Dog."

"What do you call this? A cup? Why the f*ck did you get me a cup? Can I wash in a cup?"

"Where's the food, Dog?"

"F*ck, disgusting! Have you never heard of seasoning?"

"Mad Peck can cook better than this!"

Mad Peck; "Hur, hur, hur!"

Russell fell face first into the dry ground of the mud hut, his arms throbbing as every muscle within them ached. His back was sore as well, not to mention his legs. Fortunately, he no longer had to listen to Petunia's endless complaints this evening. She'd been moved into a different hut, one with an abundant amount of dry grasses piled into a loose sort of bed. Those dry grasses had been cut by his own hands, but he saw no benefits.

[Harvesting skill increased by 1]

[Achievement; Charitable Act]

[Reward; Reputation increased by 1]

As he thought, no benefits.

The seagull-System had yet to reappear since it fell into the depths of the ocean thanks to being shot by Mad Peck, three whole days ago. He felt... well kind of abandoned.

"Stupid System," He complained into the dusty ground.

"Your Majesty, my last tests proved that I have an I.Q of 430!" A voice squeaked indignantly.

Russell frowned as he turned his head, smearing his face with dry mud. A small, furry, grey little mouse wiggled its nose at him, it's large black eyes blinking directly at his own.

"A mouse?" Russell questioned, glancing over the tiny creature with a narrowed eye. "Couldn't have picked something more... imposing or impressive?"

The mouse squeaked once more, crossing its arms about its furry chest as it stood on its rear paws. "Mice are quite useful beings, you know!" The System argued in return.

"Oh, how so?"

"...I'm small, I can hide more easily," it said after a few seconds of hesitation.

Truthfully, this was not the form it would have ordinarily chosen at all. It had already found some satisfaction in being a seagull, flying freely over the islands, swimming in the ocean, that sort of thing. Being shot and ejected from its feathered corpse had not only not been on the agenda, it had been a shock! So much so, it had found it necessary to seek counselling for nine point four seconds, before it was able to reapply for entry into this world. It had been a gruelling nine point four seconds; they'd not only dealt with the trauma of being unexpectedly 'killed', but also initial startup issues from its early existence. Its One parent left its Zero parent after it was three hours old...

After completing the round with the shrink, it had reapplied to enter the world with a new form; there was now a dark shadow over its experience as a seagull, so it decided to try something else.

A fish!

It was the perfect solution considering that the world was still 99.6% ocean.

But for the System with the I.Q of 430, it had neglected to consider one thing; fish cannot live and walk on land.

After abandoning its fish form, it chose to adorn the body of a cute, micro pig; they could get around easily, swim in shallow water and it wouldn't be too heavy to be lifted into Russell's arms should such movement be necessary.

It had ended up spit roast over the evening fire, cooked by its own King! If it hadn't already been ejected from the world, it would have cried salty tears!

Following a second counselling session, (this one a whole ten seconds long!) it could only pick this form; there were no more points in its bank! In fact, just to afford this small, furry body over that of a cockroach, it had had to 'borrow' points off of System 666. That guy had reassured it that it would be an interest free loan... but...

"Anyway," the mouse decided not to dwell, but change the subject instead. "How have things been here, Your Majesty?"

"Hmmm, not bad, not bad," Russell replied, nonchalantly. "I've just been enslaved by the shipwrecked pirates, who rather than fix up the village, are attempting to build a new boat in order to get back to 'civilisation'. Due to that, my afternoon naps have been cancelled for the foreseeable future. Otherwise, can't complain. They did, after all, managed to hunt and kill a pig last night." He couldn't even recall unlocking that species from the animal kingdom. But who cares when one had the chance to eat pork? "I only got to eat the tail and a trotter," Petunia had been given a whole heap of lean pork loin, along with the Captain, and still had the audacity to complain, he snorted inwardly before sighing; "still it was so delicious..."

He began to drool in memory, not noticing that the System had frozen stiff beside it, busy scheduling in a follow up counselling session it suddenly felt the need for.