THE AFTERMATH

"Honestly you looked like a mad man," Miranda said with her arms crossed.

"You looked like you were in this weird trance. There was a time I tried calling your name but you didn't even look back."Glenn chimed in.

"Well, as long as it attracted XR's attention to me it was worth it," I said as I drank more and more water.

We were on X-floor discussing the events of the day. I was still recovering from letting my brain go on its own to code as if there were no repercussions of staying still for so long and staring at a screen. It was funny how we are told that we are in control of our bodies but then weird places will start aching. That time it felt like I had run a whole marathon without taking a break.

"Do you think that XR will compete?"I asked, waiting for Miranda's reaction. I wanted her to have hope in the plan once again, that was all I was dreaming of.

"Well, it did increase the chances of him competing but it is not one hundred percent assured that he will come."She said with a sad expression. She wanted to avoid shattering my soul, I could tell she was still skeptical about the whole thing.

"And you Glenn," I said with a desperate tone hoping that he would be able to sway Miranda's mind a little bit.

"We can't say for sure. Unlike you two who work based on probability and statistics and all those mathematical and pure science factors. Luck might be the one thing on our side."

I looked at both of them disappointed. I figured that what I did was the only right choice. I thought it would be the one safe option that would avoid any consequences. For the one time when I saw a clear path to your ambitions the both of them still put them as something that we were not certain on. I started to doubt my decision of doing the whole thing if it was not a guarantee that it would be fruitful.

"Aaaah Cyrus doesn't start sighing as I said it is not a one hundred percent guarantee but that does not mean that it will not work," Miranda said looking at me with encouraging kind eyes.

Words did not make way to my mouth. I had nothing to say. It was hard to even believe that she even gave an ounce of hope to the entire idea. It made me wonder what type of information made her give up so easily on it when we spent a great deal of time working on it. I looked at her with my mood now changed and I was curious. I did not want to pry since she might have made her get defensive and that would put us in a bad position. I did not need to already feel more divided and distant between us but I had to take a leap of faith. I was already desperate and any sense of avoiding awkwardness between us had already escaped.

"Miranda."I said looking at her to study her reaction to prepare for her reaction," Why did you give up on the XR idea?"I asked.

I looked at Glenn to see how he would also react to the question. Knowing him he must have had the same question on his mind. Maybe he already knew the answer and I could be the only one left in the dark without knowing. I looked at Miranda and she remained calm and collected. I could not say if she was hiding her true reaction or she was genuinely calm.

"I told you a few nights ago," Miranda said.

"Just say," I said, following her eyes with mine.

"There are so many people suspected to be XR that we cannot pinpoint him--"

"Are you lying to me?"I asked.

"No."She said, still calm and now staring back at me with her lips curved in a way that she was disappointed by questioning her.

"Glenn."

"yes."He said suddenly as if he was in his world of thought.

"Is she lying to me?"I said, taking another leap of faith.

I looked at Miranda now, her eyes changing from her normal cool mode and I could tell that she was slowly getting irritated by the lack of trust that I was displaying. Glenn was hesitant to answer the question and I could tell that they were hiding something from me once again.

"Glenn!"I said, now raising my voice.

"Cy, you need to calm down a bit."He said walking over to me to cool me down.

"Fine."I said, closing my eyes for a second to cool off some stem to a point that it was not raging," Glenn is Miranda lying?"

"No," he said looking at me worried about my sudden change of mood.

It was the aspect that they would even try to hide something from me at that time that made me feel furious. I thought we had established a tight trust system when they did not treat me like a child who needed to be handled delicately. I was aware that I was fragile on the inside and I had my struggles when it came to shock but it was better to be told than to be left in the dark. Especially since what we were doing was something as important as innocent lives. Last time it was Miranda assuming that I was too weak that made her go to Gendwall. I never wanted it to be a cycle. That was the thing I was avoiding for so long but they were not even giving me the choice to stop the cycle and that made me mad.

"Glenn, are you lying to me?"I asked, now looking into his eyes.

"You know I would never do that to you."

I looked at both of them. They looked at me as if I had gone crazy. Glenn was more concerned as compared to Miranda. I could tell that Miranda's mind was not in the moment and she would rather sacrifice herself for others but I knew that her selflessness was the one that would put us back into the cycle if one mistake was made.

"Okay fine. You may not be lying to me but you are hiding something from me."I said

Glenn looked at me speechless and looked at Miranda. Miranda looked at him but her eyes were the same rage as they were before.

"The only thing I am hiding is that I can tell Miranda has something to say but she is not vocalizing her concerns."He said looking at her in a way to push her to say what is on her mind.

"Glenn, I thought you were the voice of reason in the group. We both know that what I am thinking does not matter.���She said, looking even more angry at him than she was at him.

"I think at this point it does not matter about hiding how we feel about situations--"

"Let me ask you then Glenn how do you feel Glenn how do you feel about us dragging you into this crazy situation. How do you feel when Cy is always whining about his life? How does it feel when I act up and act on my own and focus on Gendwall all the time? You always act like a dumb idiot around people and suddenly you want to be the philosopher --" She said now looking up to him in the eye.

I looked at the both of them now bickering. I had started that mess and I felt like I should take responsibility for it.

"Guys."I said standing up to try to calm both of them," I don't think we should--"

"No Cyrus you said what you want. It is always about your feelings all the time but what does Glenn think and feels."Miranda said, holding down my arm from doing anything.

Glenn stared down at her, He was not even angry, But he felt like he was a mouse in a trap. he sighed and looked at us.

"Both of you know how I feel. I feel exhausted obviously. I feel tired all the time and I try to hold on to the thread of my own life. I try to do my things and even decided that I would do entertainment, something that would give me joy. But guess what--" He said looking at the both of us," For my entire life you were the only two who would be there for me even when I was extra or annoying or I just wanted to act the way I wanted. I tried to get joy from other sources but imagine I am the happiest with both of you. So to be as selfish as the both of you. It is about me not losing you two again. It's all about me and my feelings and is that wrong. Is it wrong that I don't want to be left out of the two people who I care about?"He said looking at us with a serious face.

I looked at Glenn and I had never noticed the pain in his eyes before. It was rare for him to be serious for so long and it had me shocked. I could feel like my heart was throbbing. I was so blind in all my thoughts that I never even considered what was happening in Glenn's mind and I hated not knowing what was happening to him. I always assumed that he was kind and loyal and that was all. That he was true value in our lives. I never even thought that I was worth any value in his life whatsoever. How could I have been so blinded by my selfishness?

Glenn walked to the chair and sat down. he looked at the both of us. Miranda was speechless. She probably never expected such a reaction from Glenn. We looked at each other in silence. The silence was peaceful and I could feel the dense air settle and the tension release the longer we let the room remain quiet.

I was about to break the peaceful silence with an apology since I was the one to blame for all the commotion and tensions between all of us. But as I was about to open my mouth, Miranda closed my mouth with her tiny hand.

"Since we are all just saying everything that is on our mind before Cy starts to apologize for something that is not his fault it is only fair if I also say what I was thinking," she said as we could feel her pride falling and her humility coming in

"To start I am sorry. I am still trying to see if I can remember the reason why we have this unbreakable power of friendship among us but I cannot logically pinpoint it all I can do is feel like I should trust both of you plus I trust myself enough to know that if I sent myself to Cyrus then I trust Cyrus. So going with my feelings and let me trust the both of you. The truth is After what I received I think XR does not exist. The last time his activities were recorded was about five years ago even by the Executive that is why he is so hard to catch."

Glenn and I looked at each other shocked.

"Five years ago," I said with shock on my face.

"Yeah he is probably dead by now, stopped his activities or he has moved on from coding. That is why I think he might not even participate."She said looking at the both of us frowning.

"Well yeah if you say that it is a long time ago. I said mumbling to myself in disbelief.

"Wasn't your death faked five years ago," Glenn said pointing at Miranda

Miranda and I looked at each other shocked. Was it a clue in finding out who XR was?