Stein x Spirit

Stein's p.o.v

I sat in my lab playing with a pen. I'm bored. All of my test subjects are gone now. Maybe I should go for a walk? No, maybe I should write a pop quiz. Yeah! A pop quiz! I can get back at Soul and Black Star that way! Why did they have to prank me anyways? They put a tack on my chair, and then bragged about it to the class right after I sat down. Then they destroyed my classroom. After that they decided that they would crash the front door down to Lord Death's house causing me to have to do something as their babysitter. Finally and recently, they almost set my house on fire. A pop quiz with the hardest questions I can do would pay them back nicely. No, not enough.... What SHOULD I do about them? They are lucky they chickened out of the last one though. Two new graves in Hook Cemetery would have appeared without a funeral.

"Stein! I thought I would drop by for a visit! You here?" I heard my front door slam shut. Not that idiot.

"Spirit, go away. I'm busy." Spirit appeared in my doorway.

"Awwww. But I wanted to have fun with you today! Maka won't hang out with me and Chupacabra is closed, so I can't see those beautiful ladies." Spirit walked in.

"Too bad. Why do you think Maka won't hang out with you?" I put the pen down and picked up a book. "What was it again? Maka Chop? Yeah, I think so...." I turned to look at Spirit.

"Well, I think she won't hang out with me because she's mad about something. Maybe she is on her lady time again." He looked at the book. "Put that down Stein." I put the book down.

"Oh, I assure you she is not on her lady time. She is perfectly sane." Spirit looked heartbroken.

"You're supposed to tell me that everything is going to be alright!" He started crying.

"What are you doing? Men don't cry like that. Stop." I stood up and went over to Spirit.

"What are you talking about? I cry wrong?" He asked looking up at me as tears poured down his face and he took out his Maka doll and started to talk to it in a corner.

"Spirit, men don't cry. At least the strong ones. What are you, weak? Can't stand it if your daughter rejects you? Hate it when you can't drink your problems away with ladies hanging on you to help you forget? Upset because I won't play with you today?" I crossed my arms staring at his back and pushed up my glasses.

"Stein, you know me so well! Why don't we share a few drinks together?!?" Spirit stood up facing me as he dropped the Maka doll and took out a bottle of whiskey from inside his jacket and two glasses.

"You planned that out. Go away Spirit. I'm not drinking with you. I'm gonna smoke." I took the bottle away from him and put it in my lab coat. "And you aren't drinking." I pulled out my cigarettes. Then the surprise of my life came. I'm... out? "Spirit, go get me a box of cigarettes, will you?" I looked at him.

"Nope I wont get you a box of cancer sticks till you hand over the kidney failures. That's right Stein, hand my whiskey over!" I smirked and took it out of my pocket and opened it taking a big swig of it. Then I picked up my scalpel.

"Oh, want to play like that, huh?" Spirit reached into his jacket and pulled out...NO FAIR. He pulled out the cigarette box and took one out lighting it and waved it around to tease me then smirked as he also took out a knife.

"Spirit. How dare you." I dropped his whiskey and listened to the sweet shatter of it breaking. Ahhhhh it's broken now. How pretty. I moved the scalpel up looking at it. "This was the scalpel that I dissected you with the first time. Wouldn't it be funny if it was the one that killed you Spirit?" I started laughing.

"AHHHH. Fine have your cancer sticks." He threw the pack to me and put out the cigarette. Then put up the knife and took out a small tin bottle and took a drink out of it. "Say Stein. Ever thought about me dissecting you one day?" He looked around and picked up one of my shirts and folded it up. "You don't clean much do you?" I smirked putting the scalpel down.

"You are not smart enough to dissect me Spirit. You can't even get me to play with you." I sat down in my chair putting my head on my arms. At least I'm not bored. He can... be amusing.

"Hey Stein I have a bright idea, teach me to dissect things, perfect game right?"

"Ok, but I will have to teach you by dissecting you. Do you want to be awake or asleep? Oh wait, you can't learn if you are asleep. Awake it is." I picked up the scalpel again and a human anatomy book.

"H...How about another game."

"But I liked this one." I flipped through the pages. "Oh! This one will be interesting!" I flipped the book around showing a picture of the human heart. "Want me to teach you how to dissect a human heart?" Spirit backed away and went into a corner.

"I think we should not try to make me heartless, OKAY?"

"Yeah, you wouldn't be any fun then. You wouldn't play with me anymore." I put the book down and looked at him. "Ok, what about your liver Spirit? It should be destroyed by now, and I can take it out for you."

"Why don't we just dissect stuff from you." My eyes widened.

"Um.... let's play a different game. You don't need to see my insides." I put the scalpel down and looked at my computer. Crap, Spirit is being weird.

"Oh.. but I was starting to like that game, I could have helped you take that screw out." He hopped to his feet and walked over to me and leaned over my shoulder and typed in: Games.

"I've got a game Spirit. It's called the quiet game." I clicked out of the page and rolled across the room towards the table.

"That is boring. How about..." He leaned over and tied his shoe. "Truth or dare. Should get pretty interesting."

"You are starting to sound like the kids, but I'll play. Spirit, truth or dare." I smirked at him.

"How about truth."

"You are no fun. Ok, why are you bothering me today?" I sighed. I wanted to dissect him though...

"Because you are my friend, duhhhhhh." He sat down on my couch. "Truth or dare?"

"Dare. This should be interesting. I wonder what he is going to say.... Something stupid obviously." I reached up to my screw and twisted it a little. "There, that's better."

"I dare you to...have a few drinks with me."

"You won't like me if I get drunk Spirit." I warned. Then I won't be able to control myself, and I'll end up dissecting you on the street in front of everyone while you really are awake. That wouldn't be a nice experience for you would it?

"Just one shot wont kill." He took out another bottle from his jacket and a shot glass.

"Hey Spirit. Take off your jacket." How many does he have in that thing?!? I took the glass from him and waited for him to fill it up.

"After the drink." He poured the liquid into the glass. I sniffed it making sure he wasn't trying anything funny. Satisfied, I drank it.

"Alright, take off the jacket." I stared at him. He slid it off and laid it on the sofa then poured himself a shot and downed it. I smirked. I could get him drunk and make him pass out. Then he won't be able to stop me from dissecting him today. He'd be too drunk to do something. I chuckled to myself and looked at him pulling out a cigarette. "Truth or dare."

"I think I choose dare." He stretched and watched me. Got you.

"Alright, I dare you to let me dissect you." I stood up and cleared the table off and patted it. He went pale and got onto the table and laid down.

"As you wish."

"Don't get mad if I switch your toes around." I grabbed something to knock him out with. "Any last words before I put you under?"

"Yeah, Don't do anything funny to me." I laughed.

"Of course I will. Your big toe will be where your little toe on the end is." I smiled at him and picked up the scalpel and grabbed my little tray with my tools on it putting it right by his head making sure he heard me set it down. "Anything else?"

"Y...yeah. Stein don't kill me during the process because I want to ask for truth or dare when I come back."

"I'm sorry, but I was also planning to do a heart dissection." I grabbed the mask and was about to put it on his face smiling cheerfully.

"Dang, you are scary." I narrowed my eyes.

"What do you mean by that." I sat down on the edge of the table and looked at him holding the mask.

"Well, you are scary in that coat with that screw in your head and stitches all over you."

"My stitches are from research. They are filled with every memory of things I learned while I dissected myself."

"Yep when I come to I am going to get you for this."

"Ok then. Good night Spirit. Have a nice dream about.... Whatever you dream about." I put the mask on him. Why is he so calm? He isn't freaking out as much as I thought he would. He passed out and I smirked. "I got my peace and quiet." I walked over to my computer and started typing up a test after I took his mask off. "I'm not going to dissect him today. I'm too busy." When I finished the test and made the key, I looked over at him. Still out, huh? Guess I can't ask him to make lunch then. I stood up and went into the kitchen making a sandwich and grabbed a bag of potato chips. Better make something for him I guess. He should come to soon. I made him his favorite and put it by his head moving my tray of tools. Then I sat down and watched him as I ate.

"HMMMM....That smells good..Stein." He sat up rubbing his eyes and strtched out looking at the plate and picked it up hopping off the table and went to the couch. "Still have my shirt on? Guess you didn't dissect me."

"Nope. You got that wrong. Who says that I didn't put your shirt back on for you? I'm not that cruel." I took a bite of my sandwich.

"Then how come I don't feel something hurting or missing or wrong or out of place?" He asked as he sat down and started to eat.

"Maybe I put you on pain killers because I didn't want to hear you complaining. Plus, you're an idiot so you wouldn't notice." I put the plate down on the table.

"Okay. Truth or Dare."

"Truth. I'm not letting you dissect me today. You'd screw up and sever an artery." I stood up and moved to the couch to sit next to him.

"Fair enough. Your a good cook. So did you really dissect me?" I sighed.

"I should've. I wrote a test instead." I sat next to him and put my arms on the back of the couch.

"Okay." He ate the food them sat the plate in the floor and looked at me. "Truth."

"Why the hell were you so calm? You normally don't act like that when you know I'm going to dissect you." I narrowed my eyes at him. I expected him to scream and run from me.

"Well I am not going to back down from a dare." I pushed my glasses up.

"Since how I didn't dissect you, get back on the table then. I didn't complete the dare." I smirked at him.

"HELL NO." He crossed his arms and looked away.

"Don't be that way. You aren't any fun. Here, drink this for me will ya?" I handed him a bottle.

"Sure Stein." He took it and drunk the whole thing and then leaned up against me and groaned holding his belly. "I'm so full." And you walked into my trap.

"If you want the antidote, get on the table." I put my hand on his back.

"What do you mean?"

"You just drank some poison I had lying around. Of course I have the antidote though." I chuckled.

"I really don't believe you, this is you messing with me so that I will get on that table and let you dissect me. You know what, I think I will go lay down in the bed." He stood up waving me off his back.

"I'm not messing around. You really did Spirit. Look at the bottle." I started to get worried. I thought he would believe me. He'll die if he continues this. That wouldn't be good. I don't want Spirit to die. I just want to get him back on the table.

"Good night Stein." He adventured off to my bedroom and disappeared.

"Get back here! You will die! I mean it!" I stood up pulling the antidote out of my coat. "Spirit!"

"I can't hear you."

"That's it!" I ran down the hall to my room and threw the door open. "Drink this." I walked over to him and showed him the bottle.

"Awe ok Stein." He took it and downed it then laid down on the bed. "Come cuddle with me Stein." He joked.

"You must really hate me. I just saved your life idiot!" I sat down on the edge of the bed and looked him in the eyes.

"I don't hate you, otherwise you wouldn't be able to hold me in weapon form so HA!"

"Then don't mess with me." I stood up and started picking up my room for Spirit.

"That's a boy. 'bout time you started cleaning."

"I'm only picking up this room before you set off one of the traps around here." I folded my clothes and put them in my dresser which was empty since how I never put anything up.

"Stein, is that all you wear?"

"What's that Spirit?" I looked at him.

"That same outfit is scattered across the room...hey look I see some boxers." I blushed and snatched them off of the ground and threw them in my closet out off his sight.

"Stop looking around my room." I picked up my Spirit doll that was lying under it and hid it from him before he saw that too.

"Stein, don't dissect me this time okay? I am going to take a nap."

"I'm not promising." I finally picked up the last shirt and put it up and laid down next to Spirit. "How about this? I'll stay here till you wake up, so you know that I am not up to something like that poison or dissecting you."

"Deal." He turned and looked at me and smirked. I narrowed my eyes.

"What?"

"Nothing." He sat up and took off his shirt. "Hope you don't mind."

"What the hell?!? I just cleaned this room!" I sat up and grabbed his shirt before he could throw it. "Put this back on."

"Oh, Hold up. I don't think you should be talking to me like that. I could dissect you in your sleep. Now that would be scary." He took the shirt and put it under a pillow and laid back down.

"I'm a light sleeper. Don't try anything." I laid back down and turned over that way I didn't have to look at him.

"And I am a heavy one. We both know that though." He pulled the covers over us and curled up.

"Of course I know. I've been dissecting you for years in your sleep. Even now...." I turned over to look at him. "Hey, you don't have to curl up into a ball. Stretch out if you want."

"I like being in a ball, I feel safer...even if I am laying in bed with the scariest guy in Death city. So really I shouldn't be in a ball but heyyy, I like to be as safe as I can be."

"Um Spirit. I'm not going to do anything. Seriously, I'm not in the mood to see what your insides look like today. Maybe someone else's if they come in here, but not yours." I took off my glasses and put them on my nightstand.

"I am not worried about you silly."

"Is someone bullying you again? I'll kick their ass like I did in the academy when we were younger." He turned over.

"No, and don't remind me."

"Alright, then why do you have a bruise on your shoulder." I poked the spot as hard as I could to make him scream. He screamed and turned over facing me and got on me holding my hands above my head.

"THAT HURT ME YOU JERK!"

"Of course it did. I wanted it to." I looked up at him calmly.

"Jerk." He smirked and started to tickle my sides.

"No fair! You still have me pinned!" I laughed and struggled to get loose.

"HAHAHAHAHAAAA!" He laughed at me. "The struggle is real huh Stein?"

"Spirit! That's not funny at all! Don't you dare tell anyone that you pinned me, or I'll be the laughingstock of Death City! Why can't I get you off of me?!?" I tried to free my hands, but I couldn't do anything.

"So how about you say sorry or I will start to record this."

"DAMN YOU!" I stared up at him trying not to lose myself.

"What was that?"

"Nothing.... Just don't record it please." I looked away embarrassed that Spirit had the advantage.

"Only if you say please."

"But Spirit!" I looked back up at him.

"No buts about it." He started to reach into his pants pockets.

"Damn you. Please don't record it." I glared at him. He could do whatever he wanted to me right now too. I better make sure that I stay on guard next time.

"Wait, I have a better id-" His phone started to go off so he pulled out his phone and answered. "Hello?...Ah hey Lord Death." My eyes widened. No. Please! How is he holding my hands down with just one of them?!? Did he train or something without me?!? I still can't get away either!

"Don't you say anything Spirit." He stared at me.

"No, that was nothing but the wind. I actually can't make it tonight, get someone else to do it, I am sorry to disappoint you but I need a break from those children. How about Sid do it?....Yes sir you have a good evening too." He hung up and then put his phone back up and then started to take out his knife. "How about you teach me to dissect tonight Stein!" He laughed playfully.

"HELL NO! I'm not letting you dissect me!" I struggled to get away only managing to almost free my hands. "DAMN IT!"

"Whoa, where do you think you are going?" He adjusted his grip holding my hands tight once again then put the knife on my chest and grabbed his shirt tying up my hands to the headboard with it.

"What the hell Spirit?!? Why are you doing this?!? It's not funny!" I tried to get at least one of my hands back. He lifted up my shirt as he took the knife and smirked.

"How about I do some investigation of the lungs?" I smirked.

"You'll throw up." I smoke retard.

"Good point. You stay here." He went out the room.

"Good. He left." I kicked off my shoes and started trying to get my foot up to untie myself. "Come on.... Hurry up Stein! Almost there...." My foot was almost to the knot. Spirit came back in and quickly took a picture before walking over with some handcuffs in one hand and he got back in bed and handcuffed my hands together to the bed then laid down by me.

"Good night Stein."

"Oh.... Don't worry. You'll be dead soon." I looked up at the handcuffs trying to figure out how to get out of them. I looked around my room. "DAMN IT! I MOVED THE SAW OVER THERE! I CAN'T REACH IT NOW!" I stared at the saw half way across the room and glared.

"Don't make me tape up your mouth Stein I am trying to fall asleep." Spirit laid his head on my chest and yawned.

"Enjoy this while you can idiot." I looked down at him. He actually looks kind of peaceful right now. Almost like he's innocent. I smiled and looked around the room again for ideas. "Damn. I'm about out of ideas.... Maybe I could picklock it with something...."

"Your in bed smart one, what could you possibly be able to reach from here?" Then I saw it. I better get that soon. Spirit has a bobby pin in his hair today. Maka's by the look of it too. Did she stick it in his hair?

"Spirit, I'll give you a chance. If you take these hand cuffs off of me, I'll let you live. Maybe even cuddle up to me."

"No wayssss, I am already doing that right now! I will in the morning so you can go to work."

"So you are gonna keep me here all day?!? Spirit, what are you doing this to me for?!?"

"Because if I let you go now you might try to get revenge or worse..." He took out his phone and showed me the picture. "It is ok though because I will send this before anything else happens, want to pick the filter out?" He chuckled.

"STOP BLACKMAILING ME! I won't do anything to you if you let me out of the hand cuffs!" I struggled against them in vain.

"No waysss. I am having too much fun." He turned onto his back and lifted the phone up so we both could see it as he started to send it to Lord Death.

"Damn it Spirit! I'm going to get out of these eventually! Just let me go! I feel vulnerable like this! You might try to do something to me!"

"No I wont...but since you insist..." He got back on top of me and started to braid my hair.

"Unchain me! Go braid Maka's hair! It's longer!" I licked his hand to get him to stop.

"WAIT." He bit his bottom lip and poked the screw. "I want to turn it!" He turned it 90 degrees.

"OWWWW! Quit it! That's my brain idiot! You don't know what you might do to it!"

"Well you do it all the time, so why can't I as well?"

"Because I know what I am doing! I'm not just randomly turning it!" I moved my head to where I could see Spirit's hand, and he no longer had my screw. Then I bit it.

"OWEEEE!" He pulled away and started crying as he held it close to him.

"Don't touch the screw." I glared at him.

"Now I definitely am not letting you out of the hand cuffs."

"Fine! Just don't do anything else to me! For all I know, you might try to take my coat and shirt off next!" I looked away pissed. He got out his knife and did exactly that, cutting it up before taking it off.

"OH. Nice abs." He laid down by me and curled up holding his hand and covered us up.

"What the hell?!? Spirit! That was my favorite shirt! Why are you torturing me?!?" I looked at him about to lose it.

"This should teach you not to touch my booboos."

"If I apologize, will you let me go?" I asked softly.

"N-Maybe."

"Ok, fine. I apologize for making you scream when I touched your bruise." I nudged him the best I could.

"AWEEE!" He took out a key and uncuffed me.

"Now was it that hard to do that Spirit?" I stood up and went to my dresser to get another shirt.

"Yes it was extremely hard." I put on the shirt and got another lab coat out and slipped into it.

"No it wasn't." I went back to my mangled coat and took everything out of it's pockets and transferred it to the new one.

"You are not mad at me right?" I fixed what he did to the screw moving it back to the way it was.

"Of course I'm mad." I picked up my glasses and put them back on.

"Good." He hid up under the covers and took a pillow with him.

"Good night Spirit." I grabbed the saw and dragged it over to the bed. He glanced at me then screamed and hopped up out of bed and went under it. I laid it back to where I usually keep it, so I can reach it from the bed and climbed back into it. "Scaredy cat." I covered up and threw Spirit's shirt on the floor.

"Am not." He crawled out from under the bed and then went to the bathroom for a few minutes then came back and laid down by me.

"Are to. You threw up didn't you?" I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him to me.

"No actual- I had to pee."

"Awwww. Scaredy cat had to pee. Good thing you didn't piss your pants." I laughed.

"Stop it, it's not funny."

"No, this isn't funny." In one swift move, I was on top of Spirit, and I grabbed his hands pinning them above his head with one hand and reached over to the hand cuffs that were still near me.

"NOOOO STEIN PLEASE LET'S TALK ABOUT THIS DON'T YOU DARE THINK ABOUT IT!" Spirit squirmed around under me.

"Already thought about it obviously Spirit." I grabbed them and hand cuffed him to the headboard. I got off of him and put my glasses on the nightstand and turned over to where I could watch him.

"Why did you do this!?!"

"I felt like it." I smirked and moved closer to him.

"Oh gosh I just seen my whole life flash before my eyes Stein, stop you are scaring me!"

"Hell no. I'm having too much fun." I scooted closer to him.

"Stop, I really have to pee now Stein." I sighed and scooted away.

"Fine, just don't pee my bed." I got up and went into the living room leaving him there by himself. Where is that coat of his? I'm gonna take the Maka doll. I spotted it on the sofa and searched it finding his doll. Smirking, I went back to the bedroom.

"Stein...Why do you have my Maka doll?"

"I want you to watch me burn it." I pulled out my lighter.

"NOOOOOO!" He struggled to get free.

"I'll film it too. Film you struggling while I burn it." I laughed and went over to my nightstand to get my camera.

"Stein please don't hurt my Maka doll, it is the only thing that loves me."

"I lo- This is not a person. It's a doll." I put the camera on the dresser which faced the bed.

"If you burn it I swear I definitely will punish you later."

"What are you going to do? I can keep you like that for the rest of your life." I looked at him.

"Well that would not last very long, I would die."

"No you wouldn't. I'll still feed you." I sat down on the edge of the bed.

"PLEASE DON'T HURT MY MAKA DOLLY" He started to cry.

"Stop crying. I'm helping you." I started to get the fire going on the lighter.

"Stein...you bastard." I smirked.

"I know. Too bad I don't actually have the heart to go through with it." I put the lighter down and put the Maka doll on his chest.

"Y...you... aweee Maka your not gonna get murdered by a beast." I looked at him smiling softly.

"Go to sleep Spirit." I got up and grabbed the camera and put it away.

"Not until you free me."

"I don't have the keys."

"Their in my pocket, left side."

"You get them." I laid down and covered up.

"Stein I can't do that handcuffed to your bed, you do it. Come on Stein."

"You can do it.... I believe in you...." I closed my eyes.

"Screw you too."

"Already am." I pointed to my screw and turned over to look at him.

"Stein, just reach down into my pocket and hand over the key."

"Your knife is in that pocket. I don't want to cut myself." He stared me down.

"Seriously."

"When am I not serious." I poked his face.

"Fine. I guess I will be in your bed with you for a long time then."

"If I actually get the key and release you, what are you going to do?"

"Wrap my arms around you and go to sleep, or run away."

"If I wanted to kill you, I would have done it already." I reached down to his pocket and fished around in it. "OWWW! Your stupid knife hurts!" I grabbed it and put it on my nightstand. I looked at the blood dripping down my hand. "Jeez." I started to search his pocket again.

"Sorry about the knife."

"You were never going to dissect me with it, were you?" I felt something cold and hard and took it out.

"Of course not, did you find it?"

"I think so." I looked down at my hand seeing the key getting my blood all over it. "It's bloody now though."

"Just unlock and free me."

"Ok." I reached up and started to unlock it. "Hey Spirit, don't hand cuff me again like that." I took them off and put the key and cuffs on my nightstand next to his knife and my glasses.

"I wasn't planning to." He rubbed his wrists then threw the Maka doll into the floor and curled up.

"Are you insane?!? I thought you loved that doll!" I sat up and looked at it.

"It's just a doll Stein."

"Why the sudden change? You didn't want me to burn it, but now you are already throwing it in the floor like it's garbage." I laid back down.

"It wont get hurt with a throw like it can with fire."

"So you are still worried about that doll." I rolled over to look at him.

"Yes of course I am, one day when Maka is famous it will be worth something."

"You've got to be kidding me." I pulled him closer to me instead of moving over to him.

"No, I am not kidding."

"Just go to sleep stupid." I wrapped my arms around him and put my head near his.

"Why?"

"Isn't that what you wanted to do? Or did you just say that to get me in bed with you?" I closed my eyes not really caring one way or the other.

"If I told you then it wouldn't be fun. Good night Stein." He closed his eyes and fell asleep before me.

"Good night stupid..... what did he mean by that? Did he take his shirt off on purpose?" I looked at him narrowing my eyes. "He is pretty stupid. He might have." I shook my head and closed my eyes trying to go to sleep.