The Escape Artist

Stein's p.o.v.

I woke up next to Spirit and sat up quickly. When did he get in here? He mumbled something and pulled me closer to him staying asleep. I groaned and looked at him then poked his face after looking at the time. "Honey? It's time to get ready for school."

"Five more minutes mommy." He mumbled and hid his face into my chest.

"Five more minutes it is." I laid back down and wrapped my arms around him wondering when he was gonna fully wake up. He started to softly snore and gripped my shirt. DON'T TELL ME HE'S GONNA TAKE MY SHIRT OFF IN HIS SLEEP! I watched him nervously not wanting to wake him up all the way knowing that he'd either kiss me or he'd just stare at me uncomfortably. The alarm went off and he took a pillow and threw it at the alarm clock before pulling the covers over his face.

"UGH!"

"Wakey wakey." I smirked.

"That wasn't even a full two minutes." He complained and looked up at me coming out of the covers then leaned up and kissed me. I kissed him back gently and slowly pushed him away and out of bed. He soon fell to the floor as I moved us closer to the edge.

"Go get ready for school before Lord Death murders us."

"He would understand...All we do is plan the wedding." He complained and then got up looking at me. "How about we take a shower together?"

"I thought you didn't want anything to do with nakedness." I sat up and picked at my lab coat I had slept in.

"When did I say that?"

"Never I guess....." I stood up and walked tot he bathroom turning the water on and looked at him.

"Yay! Bath time." He walked over and leaned in kissing me. "If we didn't have school to get to I would so take my time with you in the tub." He started pulling his shirt off. "But it isn't the weekend."

"So no shower with me then?" I asked hiding my emotions.

"Of course we can have a shower together, but we cant do anything that will...distract us."

"I already knew that we wouldn't." I slipped off my lab coat and looked at him. "Even if there wasn't school."

"Your no fair." He took off his pants and smirked. "I guess I will prove you wrong later."

"No you can't. I'm stronger than you." I smirked at him and took off my shirt and looked at one of my stitches then up at him.

"What?" He laughed. "You think your stronger then me?" He smirked. "I have been in the gym for the past two weeks training without you- I mean no I have not been..."

"Well, I've been training in the mountains by myself." I stretched and watched him. "Without you."

"Then I think we should hurry and get to DWMA and test to see who is stronger in the gym?" He smirked at me.

"Oh, I'm stronger no doubt about it." I pulled out a scalpel from inside my lab coat on the floor and pinned Spirit against the wall quickly.

"AHHHHHHH.. Baby your not going to make me say your stronger just because you point a sharp object at me."

"Nope, this is being stronger." I picked him up and dropped him in the tub smirking. "How's the water?"

"Fantastic, get in." He winked at me started sliding down his boxers.

"Well good. Thought it would be too hot for you." I slipped out of my pants and got in leaving my boxers on that way Spirit wouldn't get distracted by me.

"Why are you in your boxer we are not swimming we are taking a shower." He slipped off his boxers throwing them out into the floor and stood up and kissed me deeply. When Spirit pulled away, I smirked.

"So you don't get distracted by what I know you want."

"I cant do much to you in a shower." He winked. "Or can I?"

"How about we don't test what can happen in a shower?" I asked nervous.

"We can save it for when we get married." He smirked and then gripped the top of my boxers. "How about you take these off?"

"Um.....here!" I dumped a bunch of shampoo on his hair. "Lather that up."

"OOOOO, Shampoooooo!" He grabbed the bottle and put some on my head then sat the bottle down and started scrubbing my hair washing it. I closed my eyes and leaned against him letting him shampoo my hair and enjoyed it to the best of my ability. He finished then started on his own head and smirked watching me.

"What? You want me to do that for you?" I rinsed my hair out and watched him watch me.

"I got this, you start conditioning yours. Someone has to get out first and start the coffee."

"What am I? Your servant?" I started conditioning my hair.

"No you look like my future husband."

"Good." I rinsed it out and started soaping up.  He finished shampooing and rinsed off then started conditioning his hair and closed his eyes.

"Yes it is good."

"Aw....you love me too." I smirked and rinsed off and got out and closed the black curtain and stripped out of my boxers and wrapped a towel around me.

"I do love you."

"Alright. Now hurry up so that way your coffee doesn't get cold." I left the room and got dressed in my closet in case Spirit was almost done and came out and ran to the kitchen starting the coffee. I waited on Spirit holding his cup and mine outside the bathroom door in my bedroom. He walked out having a towel wrapped around his waist and smiled grabbing the cup and leaned in giving me a kiss on the cheek. I sipped on my coffee and stared at him. Wonder what's gonna happen to us on our honeymoon... Is he gonna get his way? "Go get dressed darling."

"I was on my way to doing it my love." He walked past me and over to the closet and pulled out his outfit and then dropped the towel and sat the cup down and got dressed. I've seen him but he hasn't seen me. SCORE ONE FOR ME!

"So...do you really plan our wedding with Lord Death without me?"

"Yeah....He keeps asking questions and I am like....I am working.... Why don't we do this when Stein is here to?" He shook his head grabbing the cup and then sipped on it.

"Oh? Ok. When Noire gets back, are we going to ground her?"

"We tried to ground her and what happened?" Spirit turned and looked at me then walked past me going into the bathroom and grabbed a comb then walked out. "Let's go, I am ready."

"Does it bother you too that Noire doesn't listen to us? I know it bothers me....." I followed him. "We need to do something about it....We're her parents....."

"We only get her for less then a year before she turns eighteen. That contract I made don't really help either so we barley get to see her. It does bother me. She is my second daughter and look at both my children...." He shook his head.

"Maybe there is a way to connect to her....." I looked at him. "Lord Death handles her pretty well so there must be a way...."

"Maybe...I will ask Lord Death." He walked out to the car.

"I swear we will get our daughter to like us somehow." I got in and started driving to DWMA.

"I will ask google as well today." Spirit thought it over.

"Actually....Noire looked up to us before we adopted her....Do you think she still does but hides it more now?"

"She probably does still and hides it, come on we are really awesome! So us being her parents must be even cooler I figure..." My phone rang and I answered it putting it on speaker phone.

"Stein and Spirit here." I said wondering who called me.

"Hi daddies!" Noire said sweetly.

"Hey baby girl, how is France?" Spirit said.

"France is ok." She said quickly. "How are you guys?"

"Great we are just now heading to work, right Stein?" She called me? Our baby girl called me?

"Right, so when you get back, do you want to go on a family outing?" I asked.

"Sure!" Noire giggled.

"Yeah that sounds nice Stein great idea." Spirit smirked.

"Noire are you talking to Stein and Spirit?" I heard Fade say in the background.

"Uh huh Fade." Noire said to her. "Wanna talk to them too? I can put it on speaker phone."

"YEAH! HI STEIN AND SPIRIT WHAT ARE YOU UP TO!"

"Good morning Fade." I said smiling. "You are having fun in France as well right?"

"Right, France wa- is amazing but Kid has yet to take me to see the leaning tower." Fade complained.

"I'm sorry to hear that. I can't wait to see you girls back in class. That part of the room seems empty now." I said.

"It's gonna be even more empty today." Fade muttered.

"What?" My eyes widened. "Why?"

"Yeah why?" Spirit asked.

"Because Maka and Soul decided to take a vacay, Thomas and Alexander are playing hooky going on a date, Kyle and Cori are going to the beach to look for beach bunnies, and Dave is going to go shopping for the house." Noire said.

"WAIT THOMAS IS GOING ON A DATE!" Fade yelled and her voice echoed as she probably ran away.

"COME BACK! WE ARE IN FRANCE! YOU CAN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT!" Noire shouted after her.

"Oh hi Noire, who ya talking to?" Kid asked.

"My two daddies." She said happily.

"Hi Noire." I heard Maka.

"MAKA! WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN FRANCE?" Noire shouted. "I THOUGHT YOU WERE TAKING A VACAY WITH SOUL! Oh....you came to France for you vacay? Oh that makes sense." Noire said to herself.

"Y-YAH! I TOTALLY DECIDED TO COME HERE...Where all the shippers are..."

"Good job Maka.....good job...." Noire said and it sounded like she face palmed.

"Hi Maka and Kid." I said interrupting them.

"Hey Stein!" Kid said.

"MAKA!" Spirit cheered.

"Now we have both of your daughters on the phone." I smiled at him.

"Wait...my baby girls wont be in school today?" Spirit asked.

"Noire wasn't going to be anyways. Maka went on a vacation with Soul apparently." I retold him.

"Oh... Well Maka when you get back you can come with us to the family dinner thing to right?"

"Yeah Maka! Come with us! It'll be fun!" Noire encouraged.

"Sure, I will come." Maka said casually.

"YAY! I GET SOME TIME WITH MY SISTER!" Noire cheered on the other side. We pulled up to DWMA teacher parking lot.

"Well, I'm sorry my beautiful little girls but we have to go. We are at DWMA now." I said smiling.

"Yeah bu-bye girlies." Spirit said quickly. "Love you!"

"Love you too! Bye daddies!" Noire said sweetly.

"Bye dad and Stein." Maka laughed.

"But you my future step daughter!" I said. "I should be called daddy too! Noire gets it!"

"Oh...uh... BYE!"

"BYEEEEE!" I hung up before Spirit could finish his bye.

"Noire loves us!" I hugged Spirit.

"This means we are parenting her right, right?" He asked.

"Yeah....I guess. I hope so! Maybe she will hang around us more as our daughter!"

"Yessss!" He laughed and got out of the car holding his comb and cup of coffee.

"Well, let's go." I laughed and raced up the stairs. "Race ya to the top!"

"So unfair!" He laughed and ran after me quickly.

"And you're carrying coffee!" I shouted over my shoulder and laughed. "Don't spill it!"

"YOU BETTER HOPE IT DONT SPILL!" He ran past me and got in front of me. I stared at his back and jumped over him executing a flip and landed in front of him and kept running faster up the stairs. "HOWWWW!" He complained.

"BECAUSE I AM A MEISTER!" I laughed. "It's got it's advantages!"

"I see this!" Spirit fell behind and had to take a break. I stopped and looked at him a few steps ahead.

"You ok sweetie? I'm not killing you right?"

"Yeah, I think I am getting old Stein, I use to be able to run up and down these stairs all day." He held his back bent over.

"You're not that old." I pointed out. "You're about 30 something. You had Maka when you were 19 I think...."

"I know, boy she is growing up fast." He stood up and then started walking up to me.

"I may or may not have been off about the 30 thing but you aren't old." I corrected. "So love, wanna continue by walking?"

"Yeah." He linked arms with me putting the comb in his jacket.

"Then let's go before my students beat me to class." I smirked and walked up the rest of the stairs with him.

Spirit's p.o.v.

I walked Stein to class then went to the Death room after I gave him a kiss. Lord Death turned around when he saw me. "SPIRIT!" He pulled me into a hug. "I'M SO LONELY."

"I know, this is what happens when the Death twins grow up and you decide to give them everything plus ability to attend DWMA. Then they ditch it anyways."

"Shush and let me have my hug." He said quickly. "Don't point out where I went wrong."

"Yes Sir." I laughed and then got quiet.

"At least they still see me sometimes.....Noire too." He said.

"They do do that, your a great dad. Why wouldn't they come back to you?"

"Yeah....they'll be back soon." Lord Death sniffled and let me go.

"Sir...you've been crying?" He wiped at his eye holes in his mask.

"Why would I be crying?"

"If you are upset they are growing up then take their party house privileges away and make them come home and attend DWMA. Then you would be happy."

"That's true....I'll think about it....Hey Spirit?"

"Yes Lord Death?"

"What does it feel like to be rejected twice by both your daughters?"

"I got accepted this morning but it would be like you getting rejected by the twins."

"Good for you! Hey I need you to do me a favor."

"Sure, what is it?"

"Can you go give James his breakfast? Usually I get my secretary to do it, but she's recently got put on maternity leave." Lord Death said.

"Sure, no problem." I nodded. Why me? I hate doing this stuff. oh well it gets me out of planning my marriage and as long as I am not spying/ babysitting I am so ok with this. "Where is his breakfast tray at?" Lord Death handed me a tray.

"I almost did it myself, but I don't want to end up hitting him pissed."

"True, I will do it you can count on me!"

"GREAT! Hurry back and I'll play a board game with you if you want!" Lord Death waved.

"YES! CHEST! I WILL TOTALLY BEAT YOU THIS TIME!" I ran out quickly.

"What's 'chest' does he mean chess?" I heard Lord Death say as I was leaving.  I laughed and then walked down the hall to the teacher lounge and got some food for James and then went down to the dungreon and to his cell. I walked in and sat the tray down.

"HI JAMES, LORD DEATH TOLD ME TO BRING YOU FOOD. HERE YA GO." James smirked after opening his eyes.

"Well isn't this great. He sent you, the idiot." He stood up and went over to the tray and fingered the butter knife I had put on there. He picked it up quickly and ran over to me knocking me to the floor and stabbed my leg with the dull knife. "Now stay here like a good boy." James smirked as he stood up and walked out of the room shutting the door quietly behind him.

"I am not an idiot... DAMN IT. Forgot that I am not supposed to put a knife on the plate of food that is to be given to a physco path in a cell under DWMA." I pulled the knife out a little and groaned and curled up. "Owe...he's getting away." I pulled out my phone and then called Lord Death.

"YA?" I heard him answer. "This is the one and only Lord Death!"

"Hey....boss. I sort of....um..."

"Ran into Stein and kissed him instead of giving James his food? Ok."

"No...I took him his food but forgot about the butter knife rule and so he got one and now I am wounded in the floor with a butter knife in my leg."

"You....just lost the crazy guy who is after Noire for who knows what? Well this isn't good."

"Sorry boss...he got away." I took in a deep breath then pulled the knife out and used the bed to help get to my feet.

"I'll send Stein to retrieve you. Prepare for some stitches."

"NOOOO DON'T TELL STEIN!"

"That leg wound needs to be looked at. I'm just glad you aren't dead, but you definitely aren't taking food to prisoners anymore."

"Yes Sir...I think I can walk. I will see you soon...please don't kill me."

"I'll kill you in a game of chess." He laughed. "Later though. We need to find out what to do about this James problem again. He's either going to run for his life or he's gonna go for Noire when she comes back." I heard footsteps running down the hall and the door was thrown open.

"SPIRIT ARE YOU OK?" Stein ran in and over to me. "LORD DEATH TEXTED ME THAT YOU GOT HURT!"

"What? me hurt...no...." I sat down trying not to look like I was in pain. Stein kneeled down in front of me and pulled out a kit and some pain killers.

"Here, take this while I stitch this wound up." He passed me the pain killers and pulled down on my pants to see the wound and started stitching it up.

"Thanks." I took some pain killers then groaned. "Lord Death your telling Kid this time."

"WHAT? You are the one that lost him. How about we DON'T tell him at all." Lord Death said on the other end of the phone.

"That would risk their life even more, extend their vacation or something. We can not put their life in danger. Stein we need to fly out and babysit them now."

"About that.....they aren't in France anymore.....my private plane pilot called a few minutes ago saying that they landed in Death City with the group we sent to France. Noire, Kid, Fade, Liz, Patti, Black Star, and Tsubaki are back." Lord Death said quietly.

"They lied to us." I looked over at Stein. Stein wasn't paying attention to me and he was smiling as he stitched me up.

"Stitch, stitch, stitch.....stitch all day....." He mumbled happily.

"Oh my..he is scary." I chuckled. "So need us to find them and babysit them?"

"YEAH. Unless you want to come up here and come up with a plan to catch James before he finds them first." Lord Death said.

"He is probably long gone by now." I shook my head. "It happened so fast."

"Well.....that's true....but I don't know where they went." Lord Death said. "They haven't called me."

"Call them." I hung up. I bit my bottom lip. "I am so dead."

"You got that right. Want me to bring you back as a zombie like Sid?"

"That might be scary and I don't want to be as annoying as him."

"Sid was annoying before."

"I swear he got more annoying."

"True." He finished and stood up admiring his work and took a picture putting it on his facebook.

"Baby...your crazy." I stood up pulling my pants up.

"Crazy for you." He smirked.

"I see that, you obsessed over me every since we met. Wanting to stitch me up and such."

"My first thoughts were about dissecting you." He laughed.

"That's why I love you." I laughed awkwardly.

"SO. Let's go find our daughter if we can. Sid is covering for me."

"Those poor students." I laughed and walked out the door.

"Yeah. Poor kids." Stein followed and stretched. "Poor you."

"Don't remind me." I flinched. "Kid is gonna kill me." My phone started ringing and when I looked at the screen I saw it was him. "OH SHIT IT IS HIM!" I panicked then calmed myself and answered.

"This is Spirit."