Introduction

Every single night I lay awake in bed; covered from head to toe in blankets. The windows and doors are closed but the room sways with a chilled brittle wind. The walls ice over as the figures from the particles in the air breakthrough. There is no keeping them away; there is no stopping them from coming in. I often hope that because I cannot see them through the darkness of my comforter, then they cannot see me either. I seem to be able to shut my eyes from it all, but sadly I can never cut out the voices that enter my ears and flow right through to my head. The murmuring is faint and hard to make out. I wonder if it is pain they speak, and help they need; but then what if it is hatred they scream, and agony they desire.

I tremble with the constant fear of the people that live in the air always watching me. The outline of the unseen drives me crazy; along with the horrifying fact that darkness is consumed with all kinds of insanity.

Then, I think to myself, what if the darkness is not the insane one but I am? Why do these images form in front of my hazel like eyes? My brain must be unhinged and creating another dimension for me to run to. Although, reality should not be what I am running from. I should be running from the creatures that my mind makes up. I created a nightmare that follows me day in and day out. The real world is rainbows and butterflies compared to the never-ending bad dream that lives within me.

I am trapped inside the darkness. If I were to tell a single soul about what my eyes behold it would be the death of me. Reality would no longer act as "Heaven" but rather act like this pit of hell I have been buried in. I do not want both worlds that I live in to be evil and demented, and if anyone were to know – that is how it would end up. So, for the time being, I have secrets that stay locked up inside of me. Maybe someone will come along and find the key, but I highly doubt anyone would stay long enough to be able to unlock the secrets I behold. Who would want to get to know someone who belongs in the psychiatric ward; let alone love them?

I close my eyes and often wonder if I am the killer. What if these people that my eyes form are all the people I have captive inside of me? What if I am the monster and they feed off my agony? What if I hold all the darkness in the world and I am slowly letting evil get out of hand?