Into The Deep

Freeda sat beside Evelina, her lips stretched in a pout. "So nothing in our performance was great?"

It was not her pout that was noticeable from her, though, as she had the nerve to wear a hat, big and puffy, it was as blue as the sky but the pearls would make it glimmer the rays of the sun, standing on its greatness like it was meant for a mistress than a witch. It was distracting, really, with how the hat loomed over them. The room had been stuffy from the moment she arrived just because of that darn item on her head, yet no one found the courage to point it out.

Evelina groaned.

They were once again cooped up, forming a circle for their so-called safe space whilst discussing yesterday's performance. As expected, their reviews were far from wonderful.

"It was a mess! What were you thinking?" said Giles, who was a harsh critic than most. "Not one of you should step on the stage again! I swear!"

Nelle toned it down a bit. "Well, I kind of get the point of the story."

"There was a story?" A feigned gasp.

"Shut up, Giles." Nelle let out a soft cough, continuing. "Anyway, I kind of get the story, but your performance may have made me miss something because some of your actions were confusing. You were supposed to wear your role but you're still the people we know. You didn't embody anything."

West's eyes traveled to every recruit, giving them a sheepish grin. "We were kind of disappointed because we spent our whole afternoon training you. Nevertheless, this is only the beginning. After all, the art of it doesn't take just one afternoon to learn."

Evelina sighed. She wondered why she felt terrible. She was not supposed to care. But knowing the way he felt put her in a state of worry, especially since she was the recruit most associated with his training. Like the lad he was, though, he did not hesitate to say something inspiring for them to hold on to.

Hellen was the last to speak because Leila said that she would stay away from acting matters for a bit. Hellen was mainly the one who was assigned to their group, quite like a director. So she was probably the one who felt let down the most. But the young lady did not even think of summoning emotions.

"First, pat yourselves because you have experienced what's to come. Assume that there will be more of it. And since you've heard their criticisms, I hope you're already thinking of ways to improve, how we'll use their words as something that will make us move centerstage." Murmurs were heard as answers. There was a shift in Hellen's eyes while she composed herself. "Then, shall we start our first real training?"

It was a sign that Freeda should now remove her glorious hat.

For the vampiress, their warm-up was not that hard. Barrels containing liquid weren't that heavy and balancing them with one foot up kind of took a tough turn, but she managed to do it anyway. Their so-called rest wasn't considered rest… but they call it that.

What awed Evelina, though, was how the others were working harder. The humans were obviously struggling, their breaths heaving and knees trembling, but they fought for balance and pushed to go on. Freeda wasn't much used to physical works except for stretching because relaxation was her main use of channeling her energy for magic.

"Finding comfort is important," she complained.

"But going outside of those boundaries may give you more room," Hellen retorted.

They realized the work they've done was not all there was when the witches went to get the barrels and hit them with another wood, their attention stolen by the loud bang. It was Giles who held the long wooden block with West in his assistance.

"Do you know who you are?" questioned Hellen.

Another bang.

The noise was harsh and muffled. Eyes met in confusion, wondering what the purpose might be. How would they connect the noise to her question? They did not want to hear more of it, yet their ears were expecting to hear another.

"Well? Do you?"

Do they know themselves? What kind of question was that?

Evelina remembered how thrilled West and Leila seemed to be when they told her to attend the meeting. She did not know what they meant, but the last thing she predicted was them bombarding her with questions.

There were murmurs of yes'es.

"Perfect! Then what I want you to do is close your eyes and trace your names with your body. At every beat of the barrel, you're to move. Find your comfort place and start from there."

'Beat' was not even close to describing the sound of it.

"Can I ask a question?" Freeda looked at her, then at the two siblings. "What is this for?"

Hellen smiled, nodding to the male witches.

BANG BANG!

Seriously?

"Let us test how much you know yourself. This activity will give you the freedom to express your identity. Who are you to yourself? Surely you are more than what meets the eye. You are not just a witch, humans, a-" she paused, remembering that Evelina had not told everyone of her being. "...well, you aren't just you. So for this, you are to close your eyes. Mind your own and not anybody else. Contemplate and make your move."

BANG!

There it was again, the wooden drum, indicating the beginning of the activity.

"Ready?"

No, she still did not get it.

Evelina looked around to see the other recruits already obeying, their eyes closed. Her gaze flew to where the barrels were, and to the wood slowly coming in contact with it. Slowly, like time stopped for her.

Was she going with their flow?

After all, Evelina knew herself pretty well. And she knew that she would not follow any of their bat craze ideas.Yet as time went back to its usual pace, she found the darkness closing in to her as soon as her eyes shut.

BANG!

Evelina. It starts with the letter E. She tried her best with her body even though she didn't have any idea if whatever she was doing was right. Should she think of things that start with E, as well? Ears, elves, e-ogres - no,that was not right- eggs...Eglantine...

BANG!

V for her kind. Mortals thought that they could erase the existence of vampires. How laughable for they were threatening to rise again, and those who assume would not be ready for them. And Evelina? She would be the one leading, the power and glory all going towards her. But none would come true if she could not accomplish her mission, her very purpose in Eldham. After that…

BANG!

Another E, and Evelina was inside a hurricane of conflicts. After that… what? Was it in her to lead? Or was she only really doing this for her family? Her family… That's right. She was the daughter of her mother and father. Her parents were once shamed because of that, something of which her mother was rebuilding now. She was trying to gain back the respect their family lost.

BANG!

Inside her void of nothingness, the sound of the barrels became her thunder. But instead of rousing her, it only drove her deeper to her thoughts while her body still joined the movement of her name. Deeper and deeper, she thought of her kind and of her family. She cannot seem to reach the bottom because between her and the deepest part of her thoughts was a lady locked in the past. Who was she?

BANG!

She was no longer in the darkness when arrows of flames suddenly flew her way. Heart thundering, she ran. But her feet had a mind of their own, for the lady of the past was still there and she was walking towards her despite the rain of fire.

Who are you, the question echoed.

And Evelina saw whom she most expected to see.

BANG!

Her eyes watered, her body still moving with the complication of the letter- N. Darkness was again embracing her as she stared beyond her cage. She was the only one there. No sobbing lady, no arrow nor thunder. But beside her cage was another, and another, and another. She cannot breathe.

BANG!

Who are you, again came a whisper.

And Evelina can do it no more. Even with the continuation of the banging, her eyes fluttered open. Her surroundings were spinning, everything was hazy. And she felt her body collapse, her hands meeting the cold floor as she struggled for her own support. Her eyes flashed amber before returning to their normal brown state.

"Evelina!"

The vampiress blinked rapidly after hearing Hellen's voice. The loud beats had stopped, making her look up to her audience, her vision clear once more. They were all staring at her. West had the most worried look, as if he wanted to go to her rescue if Giles was not holding him back, letting Hellen take care of the situation. Evelina chuckled bitterly at how their looks spoke as if they found her weak.

"Are you alright?"

"I am," Evelina answered, ignoring the concern from her voice."There is no need to stop because of me." She stood up, not daring to look back at them. "Alert me when the activity is done."

Exhausted, she sat beside Freeda's majestic hat. The drum once again started but it only brought her back inside the visions that she had seen.

It was not fair. She had to see those mortals act as if they were stronger than her. It was not fair that she was the only one who was drained by one activity. It was not fair that it was about knowing herself and though she was sure that she did, she ended up questioning what she knew.

"I see that you find it hard?" Leila pushed the hat aside to sit beside her.

"There is nothing hard about it."

She just had to dwell on the things she was not ready about.

"Some people find it freeing."

Evelina clenched her fist. "I wish I were them."

"Well, whatever it was, your emotions are permitted. This experience…you were new to it. and it's alright because sometimes, it takes time before we get to accept who we are behind the lights."

Leila's advice made the vampiress turn her head. "Who we are behind the light? Are you saying that I do not know myself?"

"Not that, no. I guess it's in the matter of looking back. We say that we are who we are because of our past." Her voice was brittle, a far off look on her face. "But because of that belief, we often bury a part of ourselves, scared that it would come back and haunt us… as we live the rest of our lives. We say we know ourselves, forgetting about that buried past. Or burying it deeper, until we are replaced with someone a lot more familiar to us. But it's still there. The hauntings are still inside us. And-"

"You talk of experience," Evelina interrupted, her forehead scrunched.

Leila stopped, her eyes wide. There was silence before she regained her breath. She shook her head and flashed Evelina a sweet smile. "What I mean is, knowing more of yourself would be helpful if you took on a role of a character. As artists, we should be able to separate ourselves from the role while still empathizing with their story, to become one with them."

"That is the most confusing thing I have ever heard."

The witch laughed. "Don't worry, you'll get it."

The drumming slowly fainted beat by beat. The recruits opened their eyes, and Hellen called them to a circle. Evelina sighed, knowing that she had to join the group again for another sharing. And she knew that she would share none to them.

Leila stopped her for a second. "Wait. Do you want to come with me to hear Mitchel's story, then?"

"Why would you ask me that?"

The witch shrugged. "I don't know, actually. But I find myself trusting you more and more. If that doesn't offend you, that is."

Offend her? How would it offend her when it was the first time she heard the word from them? Trust. How would it offend her when she could feel something inside her fluttering?

"You do?"

When Leila nodded, it gave Evelina a great sense of joy. She wanted to eagerly say that she would go with her, but she recalled the images from before. There was much to figure out from there.

The question kept on echoing, even when she was already roused from the depths of her mind. Who was she? She knew of her name, of her kind, of her family… but did she truly know her?

Time went fast, her ears deaf from the others' reflection. Before she knew it, they were already done with the meeting.

Evelina made her way to her room. She thought of how she did not regret turning down Leila for a time to herself. She was honored, but it was not like she would say it to her directly. But remembering how she said it made her feel light.

She looked ahead, unsure if she was ready to be alone again, yet determined to find out why her mind was boggled for most of the day. There was too much of it, both questions and answers hidden.

But as soon as she closed the door, she found that she was far from being alone. Not when a looming shadow was waiting for her. There was a familiar, intimidating energy coming off the vampire, the air unexpectedly colder. It brought her the feeling of home, the smell of death.

"You had been out for long."

His voice was deep, holding a sense of mocked curiosity.

Alardis.