19.forgiveness

"so!this where you get busy at the mornings hah?? leaving your cousin brother to school?" I ask walking along with ethan and george, with George's bag in my hand.

"Yeah I have to leave him to school everyday as aunt leaves to work early!"

"How old are you george dear?!"

"I'll be 5 years.. in a week" he says showing five from his hand

"Woah! George's bday is comingn soon huh?"

"Yessss!!!!"he says jumping.on ethans shoulder

"Yah!! Stop jumping, you'll break my shoulder,or I'm gonna throw you down from my shoulder"

"Try it! Ethy! You can't!"

He makes a flip kinda thing bringing george on the floor on legs,the kid looks a bit scared,as he has closed his eyes..

"Hehehe! Caught yaa!! I got the strong George all scared ha?"

George opens his eyes.... looking at the laughing man

"Whatever!..my school is here I'll go!.....and Quickly...*he guestures his hands towards him*!"

Ethan bows down and recives a peck on his cheek from George as the boy runs to his class.

I smile at them and wave George goodbye

"I see ethan has brought his girlfriend along today?" Says the teacher near the gate who is greeting all the children.

"Um! Nope! Just a friend!"he says blankly

Umm! It kinda felt bad!..is it supposed to feel that way?

I mean afc we both are nth more then friend's...but maybe I was expecting a bit more.. from him especially bcoz of yesterday..

We both leave the school, giving the teacher a tight smile.

........

We both are standing near the bridge and river,where I brought ethan the other time.

He is just looking ahead, silently not sparingna single word.

"Why don't you sing on the university function, coming week?huh?"

"Naah! Don't want to!!..."he says with a tsk

"But why?"

"No reason!..you tell me ...hows your practice going?" He asks turning to me.

"Good! I actually have to leave for the practice in 2hrs"

"Oh I see."

"!... its soo peaceful in here,Adley! When did you find this place here? Your not from here so.." he asks

I look down at the memory,as I sit on the ground with support of railing railing,

Sigh!

He joins beside me

"Ezra! Showed me this place-"

I feel him going mind stuck in his place,

"Is it ok if I share something with you?" I ask

He just nods with big eyes, still in daze

His fists are curled up tightly,why does he react like this everytime I talk about her...

"I-

Past

Ezra ran away from me,sobbing leaving the university.

I was still mad..but I could not deny the feeling of horror building inside of me.

I got my classes to find ezras seat empty.. yeah she left.

I finish my classes and got to my hostel.

I see ezras.room closed...I go to knock on her door but stop

'maybe I should give her a bit of time,I acted harsh and senseless towards her this morning...'

I felt sorry for behaving at my ego and jealousy

I went to my room,had bath but didn't feel like going for dinner,so I just  completed my assignments.

It was almost 8:30pm,when I finshed I decided to go meet ezra

'i think I should get her favourite pastry along she might go abit easy on me that way'

I leave the hostel and see she is still locked up in her room.

I quickly run back to hostel with her favourite black forest pastry bag in my hand.

I knock on her door,

"EZZ!! ITS ME! LEYY!!PLS OPEN THE DOOR"

.....

."bbz I'm sorry about today!I kn-"

I sob! Feeling really bad!

"I know I'm a bad friend, atleast don't cry alone,let me hold while you cry! I'm sorry! I really am!!"

Knock knock knock

"Ezz!!! Your making me worried!! Pls open the door,you know you look bad with red and teary face right?,now stop being adament and open the damn door,"

"You can do whatever you want with me,scold me , slap me,beat me,just open the door for once"

Ufff!!! I search for the spare key gave me in room

I get back and insert the key,but my hands are shaking so much.

Everything is going to be fine!ok!! I keep telling my self as unlock the door

I see pitch darkness overthere even the fairy lights she has is turned off.....

"Ezraa?"

I flay my hands finding the switch board.

"Youre sleeping?..I brought you ur fav pastry let's go y-"

I turn the lights on as I find the switch.

Lubdub! Lub dub!! (Heartbeat sounds)

I can hear my heartbeats ringing my my head,sweat forming on my forehead,my vision already teary and red,

Horror! blank mind.

My eyes grow wide,my body shakes with terror,my throat goes dry and the the bag slips out of my hold falling on the ground,along with me.

She was hanging to the ceiling fan.....

"Nooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

I grab her body with my both hands lifting her up!!

"You can't do this!!!to me!!ezraaa!!"

I Shake her , crying and weeping out loudly!...

All the students and wardens come to the scene. Coz of my screams

I cry loudly hugging her close to me!

"No!! Whyy??? Why did you have to punish me this way!!? I-"

I weep louder holding her face.not bothering to wipe my tears away.

Her tear stained face which looked dead laying in my lap, squeezing my heart with pain and sorrow.

Present

I tell him everything.

I couldn't bare to live in the hostel,coz the day still haunts me!I feel dirty.

"I couldn't ever bare to forget the day,the day which keeps reminding me how awful of a person I am! I couldn't be there for her when she needed me the most.she didn't have anyone,she called me her family ethan!!...I thought she was betraying me...but turned out I was the one was the villan.she didn't deserve this!ahhhahah" I Say  sobbing on the ground.

I see tears in ethans eye,as he holds me close hugging me,

I let myself loose in his arms,I cry my heart out..

"She trusted me ethan!!I broke her trust, I was the only one she relied on and me?..I cheated her,made her feel worthless.....,her face when I called her a slut...still haunts me..she looked like she lost the last drop of water required to survive,but I couldn't see it.i broke the promise of being for her. "

I cry holding him tightly as if my life depends on him.

"She went to the club to scold Niall for treating me badly,she wanted to make him confess to everyone that I was innocent,but she got trapped...she was drugged and raped,her sextape was surfing on the internet....but me being her friend,inspite of holding her tight I blamed her character!...I'm an horrible person!..she was always there for me but I was a big ignorant bitch for not understanding her affection....I talked so badly to her, I can feel how fragile she might have felt..i-..ahahh" I sob burying my face on his chest

"I am her, culprit!! And that thing is weighing me down!!"

He rubs my head calming me down.

"Some things are not as always you see it!! There maybe some things that you might have left!"

"..... Its ok! You'll be fine,she loved you!! I'm sure she might have forgiven you long back" he says, looking tensed but still holds me tight.

I look at him..and lay there for abit more time.as I feel my head spinning lightly for stressing this much...I need to take my anti depressants

..........

Ethans takes me to my apartment.

"You should rest!!go sleep!I'll get you water"

I nod and get to my bedroom and tuck myself on the bed

Image

Ethan comes in shortly after me.he gives me the warm water and  pills as I catched head ache.

"Listen!go to sleep and don't worry!!ok! You don't want to make ezra feel guilty by beating up on yourself like this right?...and I'm here for you..ok?"

"I'm sorry if I bothered you today!!" I say feeling bad for troubling him when he has his own problems .

"Hey!!no need to say sorry!!we all need a someone ok, a soul to rely on,a shoulder to cry on...coz we know we can't make it alone." He says holding my hand.

I close my eyes, relaxing at his presence, Im Lucky to have ethan by my side.

"And promise me adley that you'd stop taking these stupid anti depressants ,it will woggle up your mind,make you numb..huh?"

I just nod and let sleep take over me.

But just before loosing my consciousness I hear a sob

"I'm sorry! I'm hiding this! I can't confront it to you....not after this, you'll hate me,and I cant bare it ! don't be guilty coz you don't know the whole truth yet.., forgive me!"

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