Run

The storm in my tummy starts to settle as it begins to grow. It is an interesting experience to see how a flat surface slowly becomes a mound. A hand rubs oil into my swelling belly. There is a significance to this. It means something. Something important but I cannot grasp it. Am afraid to grasp it. Don't want to grasp it. What is hiding in there, I do not know. Want to know. Should not know. Am afraid to know.

Sometimes I am uncertain if I am awake or asleep. I see children running around me, playing and laughing. Two of them. They are excited at the sight of my big tummy. Excited to see who else is coming. Among the flowers, they discuss names and colours and adornments. The children run and jump for joy. They are happy. Should I be happy? Is it right to be happy? What is it to be happy? I cannot grasp an emotion. There is only what Is. There is no feeling or emotion about what Is. Is there?

But then from these bright sightings, I sometimes wake. Or sleep. Which, I am not sure. Then, all I see are walls. Overcast clouds. Worry. Fear and nervousness in every eye. Doubtful glances that are always cast at stone walls and the big gate. In the distance, shouting and screaming is often heard. The clash of metal on metal. On the wind, the stink of red death.

Into my gardens, sharp, shiny blades infiltrate. They are everywhere I look. Some are long. Some are short. Some on a pole. Beetle men carry them. Blue men hold them. The gardens bristle with them. Even the few girls around me carry them on their belts. The girls rush about with nervous movements, trembling at every sound. The men patrol with stern faces and alert eyes.

Something is wrong. Something is very wrong. But I don't know what. I only know it is safer indoors and if I want to venture out, I am pulled back inside again.

There is a big bang. The sound of wood breaking and smashing. Shouting and rushing all around me. People drag me here and there, so hard and fast that my feet can barely keep up. I look left. I look right. I look up. I look down, but the world around me is covered in red. Fallen bodies lay in red pools. The walls and floors are soaked with it. Screams and cries of pain fill my ears.

"This way! This way!"

"They're mad! They've gone mad! What does my Lady have to do with them?"

"My Lady, you can't stop. We have to keep running. This is your only chance. They've cut a way open for us. This is our only chance to escape the Emperor and the palace. We can escape in the chaos. Come on, my Lady."

Breath is ragged in my throat. My mouth is dry and tastes of blood. My tummy is heavy and unwieldy. It does not allow fast movement. My legs tremble and shake with effort. Two hands on either side, hold mine tightly, ushering me on. In my chest is a hopeful pounding. A fearful drumming. An anxious pleading alternating with yearning.

Please.

Escape.

Please.

It's finally time.

Please.

Let me go.

The ground shakes with thunderous booms. The walls crack. I smell smoke. Flames in the distance lick the air, looking for more food. I can see flames from over each wall. The heat radiates out to grasp at us and steal the water from my mouth. They fill the day and night skies with a hazy, glowing red.

Pushed and pulled up wooden steps, into a tiny rattling room. It is crowded with bundles and people. Fast puffs of breath come from every mouth.

"Who's that?"

Curtains flap. I shrink into the shadows, hiding from faces surrounded by shells spattered red.

"Oh. It's her. Don't take this road. Go that way. There are people who want her dead further down this road. Someone will help you go out a side gate of the city. Be quick."

Lurching, the whole world around me shakes and bumps uncomfortably. It feels like there is not enough air in this little room. I hug an arm to me, while a hand continuously pats my hands, as if to comfort me. Comfort me from what, I don't know. Do not know. Do not want to know.

"This way! This way!"

"Take the west road. There are less people. Try and blend in with the refugees in the mountains if you can."

The echoes of sounds and stones bouncing off hard things changes. The sounds escape out into open air and the breath of wind that stirs the curtain does not carry as much of the metallic tang as before. Glimpses of green and trees are seen through the fluttering curtain. Slowly, the tense people around me release little breaths, exchange small smiles and give little laughs.

Despite the slightly relaxed atmosphere, I can't relax at all. There is a worry. A fear chasing me. A shadow in the distance. An angry and hungry wild beast is roaring. I wish for peace but there is none. May never be again.