Winter in the forest

An extra house is built beside Gentle Whiskers' house. Teacher of Many builds it with extra care, planting a plum tree in the yard with Swaying Blossoms. Land is cleared behind the houses but winter comes suddenly, freezing the ground. The plants in my garden plot are covered and protected with straw but even then, many are too young and too damaged by the frost to survive. In order to save energy and stay warm, everyone lives in the first house - my house. We do not have sufficient warm things and I spend most of the winter shivering in bed, unaware of what is going on.

It is only with the arrival of the warmer weather that I emerge from my slumber and sick bed like a hibernating animal. Walking strength must be built up little by little. When Gentle Whiskers feels that I am stable enough, he takes Keen Eyes and Fluttering Bird down the mountain to check on his patients and earn more money. Teacher of Many visits regularly, preparing his house. He has found work in the town as a tutor to some of the children there. When Gentle Whiskers returns, they plan to hold a joint wedding for both my girls then. I hope Keen Eyes and Teacher of Many do not mind to marry girls with little to their names, but it is more like the men are marrying into our family than the girls are leaving us. In a way, it is a good thing.

The weddings occur at the end of spring. I watch from the side as the two new brides in red bow their respects to the beaming Gentle Whiskers. Baby Tofu takes his first steps by himself during the following feast with the villagers from below the mountain. I spend most of the wedding after the ceremony hiding in my room from the excess number of people. Thankfully with the coming dark, all the guests leave early so that they can leave the mountain while there is still light.

A drunken Fighter stumbles into the room, pushing me down onto the bed. I cry and shout but my voice is too weak. My arms are too weak. My struggles too weak. Thankfully Baby Tofu is there to protect me and his cries bring Gentle Whiskers in. Gentle Whiskers was planning to spend the night in our house so as to give the newly weds some space anyway, so he comes to check. The moment he sees the drunk Fighter throwing Baby Tofu aside and pulling at my clothes, Gentle Whiskers catches him by the collar. I don't know where Gentle Whiskers got his strength from, but he drags Fighter out of the house and from the sound of things, pumps well water over his head in order to sober him up.

Then Gentle Whiskers locks the door against Fighter and helps me comfort Baby Tofu. He spends a sleepless night watching over me and an unsettled Baby Tofu. I huddle in a corner, eyes unable to leave the door. Worried that Fighter will burst through the door and come after me. I remember the cold look in his eyes when he killed his brother and before I can remember much more, I cut off the memory. Cut it out. Cut it off. Cut my memory to pieces.

When morning comes, both Baby Tofu and I have developed a fever. I am lost in a blurry haze for several days and it is only Baby Tofu calling me that brings me back from wherever it is I had gone. Baby Tofu, with his new found ability to walk, seems to have recovered long before me and spends much of his time watching over me. He glares and shouts at Fighter to keep him away. Baby Tofu is my guardian angel. What would I do without him?

Baby Tofu teaches me to talk again. Patiently he teaches me bit by bit the only words he knows. He nags at Gentle Whiskers who has moved in with us for the time being to teach him more, so that he can help me as well. My precious baby learns to pour and carry water from the little teapot on the table, although by the time the cup reaches me, he, the bed and I are usually soaked. At meal times, he feeds me and I feed him. We both laugh when we are both scolded for the messes we make and we both need to be cleaned up.

By the end of summer, I have regained enough strength and ability to walk around outside in the yard. I sit under the apricot trees, eating the sweet first fruits from the saplings with Baby Tofu, learning what has happened in the time my mind was not here. Fighter promises and makes an oath before all of us that he will never touch alcohol again. He apologises and cries for my forgiveness. All I can do is look at him in silence.

Gentle Whiskers takes him away down the mountain. They all leave to earn money. I am alone with Swaying Blossoms who laments at my slow, slow recovery. When winter comes, I know. I know that I am still slipping away from them. Slowly but surely. With every bout of sickness there is a struggle to regain strength and health but I always lose more than I gain.

Years pass. Time passes in this way. This never ending cycle of struggles. Were there no Baby Tofu, I would find a way to end this all. End the suffering. Find rest in a never ending sleep.

Fighter regains his place beside me on my bed but he never dares to do more than hug me in sleep at night. Baby Tofu grows into a strong, little boy. Children in the other houses are born and grow. They are led, taught and watched over by my Baby Tofu. Swaying Blossoms has charge over all the children, since Fluttering Bird must often follow Gentle Whiskers and Keen Eyes down the mountain to work with them as a nurse. Fighter becomes more of a farmer. Occasionally, he will go and teach the village men to fight and help them chase bandits away.