5.GUILTY

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~Hani~.

Hesitation is the worst emotion that any living being with a beating heart could ever feel as it lives.

Hesitation turns you into a coward and that is why I amble quietly behind the man that helped me today, in guilt for being rude when all he wanted was to calm me down, I shouldn't have walked out on him.

I should have restrained myself but what is the use of the I should have when it's all in the past?

All I need to do is to apologize to him but I couldn't help but think of how much the heavens hated me, they hated me enough to make my life a living hell.

Conflicted, I sigh and stared up at the dark sky which is lightened with the little twinkles of light from the stars, as I think of all the things that has happened to the unlucky me in just a span of half a day.

Uneventful is what I will call it; Being released from an eternal punishment to look for a mirror to save those that locked me up, losing a fragment of my memory of the day that I was crowned queen, being sent to where death had come for me earlier in the past in a new world where I immediately get tangled up in a mess before I am saved by a stranger who seems really, really warm and familiar and finally bursting out on him and now looking for a way to apologize without seeming desperate.

One thing I know is that even if the world did change status will still dominate the systems and also only few good people will exist and am lucky enough to meet one though I can't help but to feel apprehensive of meeting him, the man who makes me conflicted because the heavens do not favour me.

I the former queen of Hanul, Lee Hani.

Argh!... It's all strange and hard to take. I am confused, lonely, scarred but also restless.

The clothes am wearing are short and revealing then am battling on how to apologize and I have to look for a mirror which I have no idea where it is.

I have nothing but only my pride, but when my dream comes crashing down, I will also have to give it away.

I sigh...

I guess we all have to keep it aside and that is what I should do if am going to apologize to get a roof above my head and also food in my mouth.

I take a deep breath, it's okay Hani. Remember in the past there where naïve humans who didn't believe that your kind really existed.

It's okay …it's okay. I try to calm myself but a flash back of the other two laughing filled my head.

I felt really angry and I could feel the little energy I had in me gather but I calm myself because I know if I waste the last of my magic and energy it will take me months to rekindle the little energy I have in me.

You can do it Hani. I take a deep breath, inhaling and exhaling the fresh air which I haven't breathed in for such a long time since I was chained in the cave but the feeling of discomfort stops me from enjoying the natures gift.

I have to make amends if not I will truly feel guilty at how I acted earlier, he didn't laugh and so I don't have any right to be angry at him it is those two ahead of him, stealing glances at I and the man, Habeak who ambles in front of me matching my pace with a step or two I make the decision to take a step forward.

Then the hard part comes: saying sorry. I needed to say it without making it awkward or using authority in my voice but what can I do am not used to apologizing for my mistakes because a royal is never wrong was how I grew up.

I close my eyes to think of how to approach him and I get the flashback of when he tried to take my hand in his, that is it.

I bite my lower lips when I open my eyes, not totally okay with taking the hand of a man I just met but I couldn't help but to be curious of how his palm will feel against my own again and am definitely sure that he won't mind.

Its eerie and really, really strange that I shed a tear the moment I looked at him and the warmth that spread in me when we ran earlier but I couldn't stop myself from yarning to touch him again.

The plan is simple, walk over to his side, take his hand nonchalantly that will make him stop, look deep into his eyes and say sorry nonchalantly but it proves to had to do something so simple, with each step I take, guilt builds up in my chest, in my head constantly reminding me of my principle to be good to the people who are good to me and to definitely repay the people who are hostile to me.

I take a deep breath which built up the courage I had buried deep within me, stomping on that emotion-hesitation before walking up to him with a profound confidence that fuels me forward.

I look at his right hand which is swinging as he walks. Slowly with focused gaze I take his hand in mine.

The soft silky feeling rubs against my own and just as I expected he stops in his tracks, looking at me.

I feel the pain I felt earlier when I first met him but I managed to ignore it looking as he looks at me blankly. "you wanted to hold my hand earlier before I stomped out." I said his eyes still widened as he looks at our tangled hands.

Stupid that is not what you are supposed to say.

I clear my throat, I shouldn't have held his hand he seems really flustered. "we…ll.." I began, starring at him eyes wide as he looks a bit uncomfortable as he scratches the nape of his neck.

"Am sorry, I did something am not meant to do." I apologize trying to let go off his hand when he grabs me quickly in a jumbled, clumsy but cute way that made me giggle giving me the opening to apologize. "Am sorry." I apologized as I raise my head, staring back at his honey orbs which are fixed on my face.

He gives me a smile and nods

"It's okay I totally understand…" he began when his words trail off from my hearing.

No…he doesn't understand a single thing, he doesn't understand that I am a cursed person, a woman who is in a new world but is totally scared of the life she is now living, a life without her family, no matter how tough she tries to act she is still very scared deep within, so no, he doesn't understand.

I put up a fake smile "its okay, I was just joking. You see I dreamed of being a performer and I took the joke a little too far." I lied with a smile, rising my brows.

He doesn't seem to believe me as he just stared at me at that time I take my time to look around, I could perceive the rivers scent from where we stood, different sounds of nature mixed together as one to make a beautiful melody that I haven't heard in a long time; chirping of birds, rustle of the leaves the whistle of the wind and the slow claps of the water.

"it didn't seem like a joke to me." he says brining my attention back to him.

I slowly turn to look at him. "you were sincere and that's why you got angry." He covers the inch we had and my heart skipped a beat "I believe you." He ends with a smile.

Believe. He believes me I am supposed to feel pleased but instead fear cruises through my veins as I become uncomfortable with the fact that he believes me.

I blink and an instant vision flashes by my eyes, I don't make a thing out of it.

I look at him to dissuade him from that thought. "you shouldn't believe what is not true." I say with authority he turns his head and slouches his shoulder "then you should stick to one thing.

If you are a witch or not." He is getting irritated and it's not good.

I immediately interjected "I am not a witch. Even if I were and I admitted it to the whole world I would instantly be treated like a mad woman like your followers did earlier no one will believe me." I complained jotting my chin forward.

He scoffs. "but I believe you." I take a step back. "you should understand that not only your opinion matters, the world has changed a lot, it's not as it used to be before so should i. i have to be able to think faster and more accurate than the human race." I snap, pissed that he is being ridge, unable to take my eyes off him, the familiarity hitting me harder than when I first met him.

He suddenly grins and little dimples appeared above the corners of his lips. "caught you! You finally admitted you are not human." he cheered with an enthusiastic tone, excitement building up in his face and also showing in his body.

I just stood looking at him, what the hell is going on, I wonder.

Confused as I stare at him who is smiling brightly. "what the heck are you guys doing back there the party has already started!" the man who opposes my stay yells.

"I thought you just met today?! why do you look intimate?" Jimin hollers after.

He tightens his hold and smiles. "let's go miss living myth."

What... I guess he won't be calling me Ariel anymore because he really believes am a witch.

Neither less it feels comforting to have someone believe you in a strange new world.

Slowly and composed as I've been taught I follow him till we arrive at a huge lit place alongside the river which I see some people jumping wildly to the deafening sound going on around and I couldn't help but to be intrigue.

Women are allowed, free to do what they want. Loud cheers emanate from a certain corner and I see a man and a woman chunking what seems like wine from a green bottle in a very hasty manner while others cheered.

A party is what they call this gathering, a gathering that has no boring flower dance and loud gunshots, a gathering that I don't have to sit above everyone else with my back straight and chin held up high. I don't have to be poised or graceful here…I can…just be me.

I find a small smile trying to find its way on my lips when Hyung comes and pulls Habeak away from me.

"eyes—around—dude." he states in a warning tone looking cautiously around like a rat. Habeak shoves him off with a laugh.

"it's okay Hyung. There are no paparazzi's here." Habeak drawls placing his hands on his shoulders to assure him.

"As if!" he glares at him taking a step back as he tries to join the main fun "stay an inch away from her. Only friend zone Habeak am warning you…" he wriggles his index as he walks away leaving a smiling Habeak who kept on saying, "I got it Hyung, I won't be on the morning headline." I wonder what that means.

As we stand amidst the party I hear hurried approaching footsteps from behind me. "yah! You jerk over there with a lady!" a voice calls out from behind me, a voice I know too well.

Habeak glowers at the direction the voice was coming from when he stops in front of us he gasps and stagers back in surprise.

"what the hell! You are everywhere old woman!" Min exclaimed glaring at me.

I bit my lips and take a few steps closer to him, he looks at me in the eyes before I grab hold of his collar tightly in my fist "yah…I may not have enough magic in me but am sure I have enough to destroy your soul so you never come back to existence." I drawl in a poisonous tone that made him shudder, he hits my hand away making me to stagger back, luckily for me Habeak grab holds of me.

I look at him and smile "thank you."

Min sneered twisting his neck "says the woman who was locked up in a cave for centuries. What to do, if you dare kill me you will be increasing your sins and you will be the one who ends up losing a soul." He says with a smirk on his lips and mockery dancing in his eyes.

I roll my eyes and sigh. What a life I can't even kill him! "I know what you are thinking but you can't do it. Min 1 old woman 0." He grins and points at me in the heat of my anger I grab his index and bent it backwards till it gave a cracking sound before I let go "that was for pushing me out the door." He glares at me as he tries to sooth the pain of his broken finger.

"you sure do hold grudges, don't you?" he said in pain.

I fold my arms and press my lips before shrugging at that. "who knows?" I tilt my head and looked at him expressionlessly, Annoying brat.

"you both know am still, here right?" Habeak asks gaining our attention "how do you know each other?" Min blankly stares at him, with his finger still wrapped in his left fist as he heals it.

Habeak suddenly pulls back and gasp in horror with his hand on his mouth, attention turns to us. "or are you like her?!" he exclaims pointing at I.

I scratch the part of my cheeks which suddenly began to itch me.

Min glares at me surprised at what came out from Habeak mouth. "what the hell old woman?!" he grints with wild eyes.

I really need to teach him a lesson one day.