4 Pain (part 2)

I heard men talking, and I opened my eyes to see John talking to my doctor. I was in the operating room. A mirror was held up above my open legs.

"It's a delicate pregnancy," the doctor told him

"Do what you can for the baby," John answered.

"And the mother?" the doctor asked.

"John?" I called out, pulling him away from the doctor who returned to his charts.

"I'm here. You're alright." He approached me and took my hand in his. I pulled away.

"Where are my mother and my lola?"

"They're right outside, darling."

"I want them in here."

"I'm here," he said, forcing his hand in mine. I pulled mine away weakly. I felt pain in the base of my abdomen.

"I don't want you!" I told him, my stomach lurching. I pushed it down hard. "I want my mother and my lola!"

"I'm the father of this child," he said between gritted teeth. "I have every right to be here."

"You wanted this child dead, you lazy bastard!" I yelled back a him. "Get out! I want my mother and my grandmother! Get out!"

He looked at the doctor and stormed out of the room.

"I want my mother and my grandmother!" I yelled as I pushed.

After a while, my mother and my lola came in. The doctor spoke to them momentarily, and they nodded and spoke to him. I didn't hear what they said, but I could hear the defiance in their tone. They took the spots on either side of me and held my hand.

"We're here, anak," my mother said. "You're not alone."

"It hurts, mommy. I don't think I can do it anymore," I said, crying again for the nth time today.

"It'll be just a moment of pain and then a lifetime of happiness," she said, wiping tears off my cheeks.

"You can do this. You are strong. You are brave. You are loved," Lola Amor said.

"You are strong. You are brave. You are loved," I chanted this over and over in my head as I pushed, harder and harder every time.

At the last push, I opened my eyes to the harsh hospital lights above me. I saw the baby in the mirror and my mother and lola on either side of me, crying and squeezing my hands.

I closed my eyes to rest for a moment and this time chose the darkness that was coming.