A Letter To My Rapist(TRIGGER WARNING)

***This content is my own and personal experience, it can cause a trigger fair warning if you have experienced rape, please consider this my own personal sharing experience for others to bring out what happened to them apart of opening myself up.***

Dear Rapist,

From sixth grade to tenth grade you hurt me. You have made everything my fault because of what a friend of mine did by keeping things from you including a child that isn't my fault, and it never was. I can't live with the fact that you still want to kill me. I do not wish for you to hurt me any more than you have. You have tortured my life so much that it doesn't feel right to not know when you could appear and try to kill me. I do not have any details of this child let alone knowing she is yours because this is up to the child now and she is refusing as much as her mother to know who she belongs too that is her life choice, not yours. I, shouldn't have to suffer for something that I wasn't even involved in at the time, I was busy doing my own thing then once I hit Sixth Grade you raped me in in Elementary School that I went too in the bathroom, in front of Pre-K students, and anywhere else you get a hold of me. By Ninth and Tenth Grade you raped me. Every chance you got from the Library to the Science Hallway bathroom, and on the School Bus to your bus stop. Everyone thought we were together, NO, NO, NO, NO, I wanted nothing to do with that and yet you still took advantage of the situation. I am thousands of miles away for a reason and if you do try an find me, my family will protect me. I am not going through all this hell again for you to keep hurting me over something that a friend did to keep you away from that child, and I don't blame her one bit because you are a rapist that deserves prison time for everything that you put us through.

I have never asked to be raped or wear anything to be raped this fellow student Jason Lee Lyons ruined the life that I had going for me, I didn't graduate, never got my GED, he used to hack my Facebook every single day of my life including threatening me, and now his threat is to kill me if he ever finds me. He lives in my hometown still but every time I have gone to visit, I don't see him and glad that I don't because I am still watching my back every day of my life also protecting my daughter. It has become a nightmare to live my life. Even as a Self-Published Author, with my name out there he can't find me and I like it that way either under my real name or pen name. I am putting this out there because he really ruined what I was going for, yes, he blames me for ruining his life. NO, HE RUINED HIS LIFE FOR WHAT HE DID TO BOTH ME AND MY FRIEND.

The worst part of this situation is that I was going to be the one in Juvenile Detention for what he did because he put the whole blame on me in TENTH GRADE. I had my dad immediately drop me out after my ten-day suspension, it stressed me so bad and I couldn't deal. I am a heart disease patient as it is so, yes that added stress a lot to school, him raping me, and more. My friend graduated with perfect grades even when everything went down, I didn't because I couldn't handle it. If a guy hurts you please know that it is okay to open up about it because it can still lead you to horrible feelings later. I did report him in sixth grade he got suspended for it but by tenth grade, he never stopped even after telling my bus driver, and fellow teachers. He had everyone fooled that he was an innocent person. So, please always report any type of abuse to save yourself.

P.S. I have been mentally abused in my teen/adult years by fellow men.

Sincerely,

A. Kestner

Sutton, West Virginia