childhood memories [Lorenzo Barbieri]

October 2, 1997.

a brown old car is passing by a dangerous road. the road is located on a hill. it is raining really hard. it is hard to see the road.

inside the small car is a family of five. they live on a zone of highland. it is hard to drive on this area. it becomes harder when it is raining.

a young teen Lorenzo Barbieri who will become seventeen in some days. there is a five years old Alessandro Barbieri. there is a ten years old girl with them. there is a Mr. Barbieri on his forties and a Mrs. Barbieri.

Alessandro is playing with some toys. Lorenzo looks at his brother with a smile. Lorenzo asks him if he wants to watch the newer movie for kids on cinemas. Alessandro smiles and laughs.

Lorenzo is reading a book about human anatomy. he wants to be a doctor. his father is a local surgeon who works on a hospital that helps those with economic struggles. Lorenzo admires his father. he wishes to work with him once he grows up.

Lorenzo wanted to stay home. but he was convince to go with them on a trip. Lorenzo hears a strange noise. he looks up.

a front tire burst. Mr Barbieri loses control of the steering wheel. the car rolls on the ground and then falls off the hill. it was a miracle that the car didn't exploded, or it wasn't completely trashed by the fall.

a piece of glass decapitated the father. some pieces of glass are nailed on the mother's face and her torso. she died of a heart attack. the little sister did't have her seat belt on. she was ejected off the car on the impact.

with some serious and many smaller wounds Alessandro and Lorenzo are the only survivors of a tragic car accident.

Lorenzo hugs his brother. he covers his brother's eyes. Lorenzo cries and screams in horror once he sees what was left of his parent's bodies.

.....

January 12, 1998.

Lorenzo woke up on a hospital some days ago. his brother woke up earlier than him. they miss their parent's funeral.

they stayed on the hospital for some days. the kind nurses look out for them. the two siblings tried to adjust to their new life the best they could.

they didn't had many living relatives. just two elderly couples. two couples that lose their only living child on the same day.

Lorenzo was taken by the paternal grandparents. Alessandro was taken by the maternal grandparents. they didn't live together, but they visited each other every day. both elderly couples lived on the same small village.

both elderly couples are on their late eighties. soon after the grandparents died one after another one. from a heart attack, or a flu. then the siblings were alone once more.

they were left alone both with enough money to survive for some months.

.....

March 7, 2008.

Lorenzo has been for the last ten years taking care of Alessandro. while Lorenzo works. Alessandro goes to school and studies.

Lorenzo didn't had time to live his own life. he only lived to make sure that Alessandro had a proper childhood.

Lorenzo comes home late after a long day of work. Alessandro has been waiting for him since a long time. Lorenzo is so tired. he doesn't even know what he is doing with his own life.

"I have a girlfriend. she is nice."

it was then that Lorenzo realized he was wasting his life. he is living for his brother. he doesn't even have time for him. he used to dream about becoming a surgeon. he isn't doing shit for his life. he wasted the last ten years of his life.

Lorenzo is starting to think about doing something for himself. Lorenzo wants to have a proper career and a family of his own.

"did ya hear me dude?"

"yes brother. I am still here without anywhere to go."

"ha. dude you are hilarious. damn bro ya killing it."

Alessandro keeps talking about his girlfriend. he talks about his friends. Alessandro doesn't stop talking about his school life.

it was here that Lorenzo decided to do something about his own life. from here on Lorenzo started to study.

while Lorenzo works on day. at night he studies. he started to push himself to his limits. Lorenzo met a nice lady. he fell for her at first sight.

.....

November 27, 2010.

Lorenzo has just turned thirty years old. he is finally living by himself. while Alessandro takes care of his life on college.

Lorenzo is dating. he is finally free from the chains that it was taking care of his brother. he can finally breathe freedom. for the first time in years he is smiling once more. Alessandro calls every once in a while. but Lorenzo ignores the calls.

to be honest Lorenzo doesn't want to know about Alessandro. he doesn't wish to be chained to his obligations as a older brother. not after finding freedom without Alessandro on his life.

there are times in which Lorenzo feels guilt, regret for not been a good brother. he knows he shouldn't resent Alessandro for something of what he wasn't guilty. but even if he didn't wanted to, Alessandro robbed him of his dreams.

there are times in which Lorenzo feels like he is forgetting his parent's faces. the face of his own little sister. he then looks at their pictures. the images of the incident haven't completely left. there are times in which he has nightmares about their deaths. but even on those nightmares the faces are blurred.

there are many things tormenting Lorenzo at night. there are many reasons for which Lorenzo sometimes can't sleep, or even breathe at night.

but more than torment. Lorenzo also feels resentment towards Alessandro. one thing that angers him the most is that Alessandro forgot about that night. for some reason after the incident Alessandro didn't had any memory of that incident.

now that they are older. Alessandro even forgot that they were on a hospital. it is true that Alessandro was just a kid. but even so, by been the only one to remember. to be the only one carrying that burden is frustrating to Lorenzo.

Lorenzo can't be blame. he had suffered so much. he had to take care of his own brother at a young age. at some point everything became too much. even the smallest thing was too tiring to Lorenzo. he tries to not judge his own brother.

but every human needs to put some blame on someone. on anyone. and to Lorenzo his own brother was the perfect person to blame somehow. and now he had the perfect excuse to ignore him and push him aside.

for some nights Lorenzo cried on silence. to the air he was asking for forgiveness. when he closes his eyes he could feel his parents, grandparents, and younger sister at his side giving him some comfort.

he felt like he was failing to be a good sibling. he wanted to be forgiven by his parents, for been too greedy for wishing to be the owner of his own life. but Lorenzo was so happy now that he has a girlfriend and friends.

.....

February 24, 2017.

as of now Lorenzo is thirty-six years old. he looks so much older. he jokingly blames his past for his older looks. he let his hair grow long. he had some facial hair. he also wears glasses. his wife told him to get a hair cut.

that is why he is on a salon getting a haircut right now. Lorenzo does anything to please his adorable wife. while getting his hair done Lorenzo notice a particular person who entered the salon. this particular person is one of the employees.

"Alesso Barbieri sucks at soccer." yields Lorenzo without thinking.

"that ain't true dude." yields Alessandro complaining.

Alessandro looks at his brother. he is on shock. he can't do anything more than to cry. it was too sad for him to see his brother after many years.

last time they spoke to each other, they were living on Europe. now they are both living on North America. it was like a miracle, or probably it was fate.

"brother I miss you."

"me too, I missed my self. I am kidding. I did miss ya too."

the two siblings who haven't talked in so long started to have a conversation. it was simple and long. they entered into details.

while Lorenzo had his life steady at his thirty-six years of age. Alessandro's had a shitty life where he is lost at his twenty-five years of age.

Alessandro had drug problems. he had debt. he had a criminal record for violence, for property damage under the use of illegal substance, and a DUY. he had an abusive relationship on which he was the victim. many things were wrong on his life.

Lorenzo felt guilt after finding out how shitty is his brother's life. he felt like if he had failed his parents by not been a good brother. Lorenzo abandoned his brother for his selfish desire of finding happiness. or at least that is what he thinks.

he has a steady job. he makes good money on his job. he has children who made him feel proud and happy. he has a great wife who works as an interior designer. everything on his life is perfect.

Lorenzo tells his brother about a trip he wants to take on October. the trip is for the twentieth anniversary of their parent's death. Lorenzo thought about doing the trip by himself before seen his brother. but now it would be more personal if they are together.

maybe the trip will help them to bond. that is what Lorenzo hoped when he brought the idea to his brother. Alessandro accepted the invitation without saying anything else. Lorenzo gave him his phone number and left.

.....

September 25, 2017.

the siblings started their trip some days before the original date that Lorenzo chose.

Lorenzo and Alessandro are on a bar. they are drinking some beers. Lorenzo shows a picture of his kids to Alessandro. they have a comfortable conversation.

Lorenzo goes to the bathroom. he is urinating. there are other guys on the bathroom. they are talking about shows and video games. Lorenzo is done. he washes his hands. Lorenzo walks out of the bathroom.

Alessandro is fighting on the bar with other people. Alessandro screams like a maniac. he uses chairs, bottles of beer, and more things as weapons. a waitress asks Lorenzo if he is going to pay for everything that his brother breaks.

"is it going to be expensive? I am only paying for that asshole, I ain't paying for anyone else but my brother's stupidity."

the more things are broken by Alessandro's hands, the more Lorenzo worries about his own wallet's survival. Lorenzo asks the waitress for another beer. Lorenzo asks his brother to stop. Alessandro is cover on bruises and blood. he seems furious.

"yeah listen to your boyfriend little boy."

"I am his brother, you little piece of no-planet friendly cheap plastic bag."

"you heard the man, bro. and tell your mom I send my condolences."

after Lorenzo pays they leave the bar. because both of them are wasted Lorenzo left his car in front of the bar. this is Mexico so they don't need a car to move much. after walking for a long while they arrived at the hotel. by now they are sober again.

Lorenzo's plan is simple. they will drive from United States to Mexico. and then from Mexico to all South America, or wherever they can go before running out of money. it is a simple road trip plan.

at the hotel Lorenzo and Alessandro had a small argument. Lorenzo wants his brother to at least try to don't cause any problems. Lorenzo wishes for the trip to be memorable enough for them to do it at least once every two years.

Alessandro feels irritated. he fears that his brother feels ashamed of him. Lorenzo haven't once invited him to his home to meet the family. he had only seen Lorenzo's wife and kids by video calls. Alessandro feels like if Lorenzo was trying to hide him.

.....

October 2, 2017

by now they are on Brazil. out of nowhere there was a giant green gate in front of them. after crossing the giant gate the whole area started to change. from being a jungle, it turned into a desert. there was no living beings anymore on the desert.

Lorenzo keeps driving. the car stops in the middle of nowhere. Lorenzo takes his phone out to call for help. his phone isn't working. Lorenzo laughs. it is all so strange. now that they are in the middle of nowhere he is sure that Alessandro is going to blame him.

Alessandro and Lorenzo are looking at the scenery. they don't have anything else to do. the silence becomes more uncomfortable by the minute. nor Lorenzo, nor Alessandro want to admit that they have unsolved issues.

Lorenzo tells Alessandro about his struggles. he then smiles calmly. everything was worth it because he now has a family that he loves. Lorenzo then tells Alessandro about his upcoming child.

"why do I feel like you keep pushing me out of your life? bro."

"are you really going to do this now? you stole my youth. you took away my best years. I am trying to live my own life. can you appreciate what I did for you? and be thankful. it is my time to live for me. to be the owner of my own life."

"it is a shame, bro. do you think you are the only victim? I also lose my entire family. it is worse for me, because I forgot them all. you're all I have left. and jet I am just a hindrance to you. I want to be appreciated by my own brother."

"sorry. but you are an adult. you must take responsibility of your own life. you are wasting your years. do something for yourself."

"are you really doing this to me now? bro. I see, I was a fool for thinking that our blood meant anything to you. I see it now, family doesn't mean anything to you. I hope that you can see me. not how I look, but the real me."

the car starts working again. Lorenzo drives for a while. they ignore each other. Lorenzo felt suffocated by being inside the car. who could guess. the road trip that is meant to unite them is doing the opposite. it is pushing them farther away.

Alessandro feels hurt. he only wants the approval of his brother. he wants to be accepted and appreciated by his brother. Alessandro holds his tears. he can't let Lorenzo see the pain he caused him.

the car stops working once more. the two siblings leave the car. the car catches fire. it burns and then explodes. Alessandro and Lorenzo are left with only one option. they start to walk away trying to find help.

then they see a gas station far from them. they keep walking for about forty minutes. after a long walk under the killer heat they finally arrive in front of the gas station. they get inside of the mart. they see an old man inside. he greets them smiling.

.....

now.

Lorenzo opens his eyes. he looks at Dorian. it feels like it has been months since they arrived inside of this damn place.

Dorian's curly hair and beard are growing. he takes a razor blade from his pockets. he gets inside of the bathroom to shave both his head and his face. once inside of the bathroom he coughs blood. he looks like shit. he puts some sunglasses on.

on the other side of the mart is Russell. he is standing in front of the front door. the mart is no longer safe for them with the broken windows. Russell proposed to take anything they could take. they will take a shower each. then they will leave.

there are only three working vehicles in the area. Rose Anne's car. Wendy's mini van. and Dorian's motorbike. and only two are safe to use. Dorian and Lorenzo are taking Wendy's mini van. Russell is taking Rose Anne's car.

Russell looks like a caveman with his long hair and thick beard. Dorian offers one unused razor blade. Russell tells him that he is fine. Lorenzo and Dorian are the first ones to leave the mart. Russell stays behind.