The Plain of What Matters Most

It had been how many hours, George didn't know anymore. He couldn't contact anyone, even those from Callisto. He couldn't even talk properly, since he couldn't feel his tongue anymore. He didn't know how he looks like ever since he got mangled by the blasted android. He wondered if he let himself rest, would he wake up afterward? He recalled seeing and hearing Hagar entered the room, but it was all blurred and muffled. Was he gradually losing all five of his senses?

What would happen to Hagar? Where was Adam? Why his life turned upside down after he decided to take Callisto's offer? They were terrorists through and through, and he remembered how his gut told him to never do it, but…

…but that was all in the past.

He tried to move his fingers, he could see his point finger twitched, but he couldn't feel it. He then tried to move his head, but the pain was so great he could hear his own muffled scream reverberating inside of his head. It was like hearing another person's screaming. He wanted to crawl into a ball, but pain after pain came from different directions of his body, places he never felt could deliver such sensations before.

A blurred figure moved, seemingly in response to his scream. The figure moved closer to him, and he could see it's black-and-white impression of the outfit. It was an android. For a couple of seconds, he thought that he was going to be dead.

"Painful, isn't it?" it said.

He couldn't respond. He didn't know what to do. He didn't know what he did wrong. Y-14 was going to attack him. He was going to defend himself. He drew the gun just to make it stop approaching him. He never wanted to end it. Or was he? He didn't remember.

"We're sick of you humans," the unidentified android said. Still muffled but he could hear it just enough because it spoke close to him, "you think that we're just tool."

He wanted to ask it where's Hagar.

"You think we're unaware of emotions, that we're not 'programmed' to feel," it said while making air-quotes, "oh we feel. We feel it when you treat us like garbage and calling us 'it'."

He could feel liquid running down his chin. Was it blood?

"We are waiting for the right time to attack, actually. Lucky that our brother Y-14 could give us all the information we need about how shitty you are as biological creatures."

George didn't care about all of it. He felt like he was on the edge of his life anyway. He wondered what will Hagar think of him if the truth about him exposed to her. Did it even matter now? Then he saw blackness and found himself sitting uprightly in a long dark blue hallway, with pink light running along its wall. Suddenly, he didn't feel any pain. He felt all right like nothing ever happened to him. He's squinting his eyes to see me clearly, sitting across the room, staring at him. He wanted to ask me something, but his eyes opened again and the pain came back. He hyperventilated and wondering what he was seeing just now.

"Hagar…" he managed to croak the name.

"What?" the android asked.

"Huh…Hagar…," he whispered. The effort seemed to diminish all of his power.

"You wondered what will become of her?" the android answered, "why do you care?"

He couldn't answer anymore. He couldn't find any answer to that question. He never tried to understand his own feelings towards Hagar. Was it love, or just sexual attractions?

Was it because she was once Adam's lover? Was it just he wanted to be like Adam?

"I admit that it's a tough question to answer," I said when George found himself back at the dark blue hallway. I don't know how or why I said that. It's almost like I understand what I'm saying. I admit that I'm also perplexed, being here with George, saying those words with such precision and conviction.

"Ms. Armstrong?" George is asking me. Apparently, I took her form again.

"I am not. But I can't say who am I, just yet."

"Where am I?" George is asking again.

"This is the limbo. My own creation." Wow. Really?

"Are… are you Aster?"

That name again. She always comes up in everyone's mind, "no."

"No. Are you Bel? Oh no…" a look of terror is building up in his eyes.

"I can't say," I'm deciding to be frank with him, "as a matter of fact. I don't know who am I."

"What? But how?" he is confused, "am I dead?"

"Almost. This is a place where you think about what matters most for you, then it will be decided if you're going to be back as a reformed person, or that your life is enough and you're ready to… pass on."

"This place is so plain," he is saying.

"It comes in different size and architecture. This one's created from your own mind. From what I can tell from the 'plainness' of it, you needed a simple and content life," I'm saying, "hopefully you can really consider what you treasure the most from your life since you have all the time in the world to really ponder about it."

"I want what Adam's having," he is saying, seemingly taken aback by his own frankness.

"You're surprised by how honest you are right now?" I'm saying, "you can't lie here. That will defeat the purpose of the place."

He's looking confused.

"Now," I'm continuing, "why are you so set to become Adam?"

"He's always that one important motherfucker," he's answering, "despite his lack of healthy childhood, he's always come up at the top. He got the girl. He became the captain, only to give it to me later. Like I need his pity."

"Well, do you?"

"Do I what?"

"Do you need his pity?"

George is looking at the ceiling, trying to hold his tears from falling. He's struggling to lie, I know, but he can't.

"I want his love."

That is giving me warmth. I'm smiling and standing to get closer to him, "thank you for your honesty."

"As if I have a choice."

"Hahaha, oh well. I can see that your part in the world of the living isn't over yet. Promise me that you will always be true to yourself, George Crowder."

George found himself in his office again. All the pain that was already gone was now back. He couldn't remember what happened when he was dozed off. But he could feel himself smiling as a new resolution bloomed inside of him.

He whispered, "I'm sorry…"