Transponder snail

"Buru-buru, buru-buru, buru-buru…" The transponder snail clothed in a king's outfit and jewels atop its shell, voiced in its usual way while Daz tried to get some information over the bloody thing.

Unfortunately, he has had little success so far, and it escaped him why that was the case. He was already so far in his ruminations about his failure to get anything out of the dumb snail that the suspicion crept into his mind the bloody creature was keeping him from getting a connection on purpose!

'Do transponder snails have a free will? Or a conscious mind even? Now THAT is a question that needs answering!' Daz said while he gave the damn snail his patented and legalised suspicious stink-eye, a technique he had refined over the years to near perfection.

And yet, this wannabe king without legs pretended to not take notice of his rising temper and suspicion, making him even more suspicious that something was off with that bloody thing…

'Heh, who would have thought a transponder snail would be the one thing of all the things available that would crack my patience. Oh, what is the world coming to…' Daz lamented in his mind, while his fingers drummed upon the desk he was sitting at with the snail sitting upon said desk before him.

'Now, let's see if I can't unnerve you enough to crack under the pressure, you stupid mollusc…' Daz thought with a small, evil grin, keeping his steel grey eyes unblinkingly focused on the snail.

Seconds passed by, and yet nothing happened. Still, Daz continued to glare at this pretender until, after nearly five minutes, the dipshit of a snail finally faltered, quickly glancing at him before immediately turning back around as if nothing had happened.

"I knew it you stupid snail! You're doing this on purpose, aren't you!?" Daz said through grit teeth while his tipping fingers sent spiderweb like cracks into the wood of the table.

To his satisfaction, the snail began to sweat a little from his words and actions, though it still pretended to still know of nothing. The bloody thing…

"Why are you glaring at the poor snail like that Mr. Mime?" The munchkin's voice piped up from besides him, having wandered over towards him after she was done with her breakfast.

Daz, with his gaze still resting heavily on the damn snail, obviously picked up on its slight up perking at the possibility to slime its way out of its potential grave, though Daz wasn't a world class killer if he let his prey escape that easily!

"Ahhh, munchkin! Well, let me explain to you what this snail does exactly. You see, this snail is not actually a snail but a magical lamp, transformed by some hoodlum into its current form. I'm trying to get it to talk to me about certain information but it doesn't want to cooperate for some reason.

That's where you come into play! You see, magical lamps only work when they are really clean, before you can rub them vigorously to get yourself a wish granted, but this lamp is anything but clean. It is actually so unclean that it looks like a snail clothed in a king's outfit! Would you be a dear and clean the snail for a while until it becomes a lamp again?" Daz explained to the munchkin, who immediately got a gleam of wonder and excitement inside of her wide eyes, to which Daz couldn't help but cackle internally at his vicious plan.

"Yes! I'll get to it immediately Mr. Mime!" the munchkin said, having already grabbed the profusely sweating snail from the table at the time she was finished with her sentence, before scampering of to begin scrubbing the damn snail so thoroughly and enthusiastically until it couldn't take it anymore.

'That's what you get for your defiance, you stupid snail…!' Daz grinned to himself while throwing one last stink-eye at the now horror-stricken snail, before turning back around and grabbing the sea charts of these waters from the table before him.

The bloody snail aside, all was going smoothly for now. The weather was just peachy and the former slaves had regained some of their lost vigour in the past day since leaving Mary Geoise via the sea.

'Though, I do have to wonder if the current peacefulness isn't the calm before the next storm? Ehh, when wasn't that the case you moron?! It has always been just one clusterfuck after the other for me anyway. No reason to change the pattern now, is there?' Daz thought with a small snort, letting his fingers glide over the map on the table all the while.

'Well, we should soon be able to see the gate of Justice if our course is still correct. We shouldn't have any difficulties getting through the gate with our ship being one of the Tenryuubito's but you never know. Ehh, if worst comes to worst I'll just have to take over the control centre of the gate and open the thing myself.' Daz thought to himself and simply shrugged in nonchalance.

'I do wonder though, when the two dead Tenryuubito will be discovered… so far I've not even heard a single peep. Though, that may have more to do with that freaking snail than with actually nothing happening.' He mused, though a familiar feeling in his guts told him that he was only partially correct, and Daz never mistrusted his gut after he had once done so and nearly been cooked alive by a tribe of cannibals.

That particular incident still sent shivers down his spine from time to time. There certainly were better ways to die, thank you very much.

Rolling up the sea chart, Daz stood up from the table and walked over towards the munchkin and the now openly weeping snail in her arms, while she, under utmost focus and concentration with her small tongue sticking out of the side of her mouth, scrubbed and polished away at the damn thing.

The scene finally managed to crack Daz up, who had difficulties holding down his roaring laughter at the scene, greatly enjoying the suffering of that cursed snail. A fate well deserved indeed…

"Hehehe, alright munchkin, hehehe, I think that's enough for now" Daz said while weezing still in between his words, patting the girl softly on the head, which earned him a beaming smile that defrosted his ice-cold heart somewhat in the process.

'This munchkin is too good for this world…' Daz thought while he slightly shook his head with a small sigh, after which he motioned for the munchkin to follow him back to the table. It was time to finally get that damn information out of the bloody thing once and for all.