Regrets

Emily P.O.V

 The most heart-wrenching growl escapes from the Lycan as she holds my limp body in her arms.  Even I can't hold back the tears, the pain that shows on that beast face. Setting me down, the Lycan begins destroying the entire room whatever samples they have gathered are smashed all over the floor. Machines are tossed from one end of the room to the wall on the opposite side. Leaving nothing usable or salvageable for the enemy to use. 

After the destruction the Lycan returns to my body, placing their forehead to mine and a paw gently on my cheek. I feel the familiar connection I had felt with Z. And that is when I realize with all the most clarity and how naive I am that the Lycan is Z.  Remembering how she told me she was the only living lycan the last of her kind and now she has found me like this….My heart swells, oh Z I'm so sorry..so sorry that you had to find me or even come rescue me.  I wish I could go back and hug you and tell you to thank you for rescuing me. Life is so unfair and cruel. I've denied my feelings for you since we met, pretended that the connection I felt was non-existent or a fluke. How I wish so much I could tell you, tell you that you drive me crazy, you annoy me way beyond my nerves and yet….I love you….

Z P.O.V.

My sadness doesn't yet falter, I am out for blood, all the reptilian scum will die a slow painful death at my hands. She may have annoyed me and been nothing more than a human, but that connection we shared the bind I had denied and tried to hide from, keeping my walls as high as possible, and yet here I am still feeling pain. This pain is overwhelmingly dragging me closer and closer to my knees. I whimper, Leona and I share the same sharp stinging agony. I realized too late that we shared a connection for a reason. 

This connection was the same that I had felt when my long lost love Estelle came into my life, how I felt it whenever she was close. Emily came to my life for a reason. She was my mate reincarnated. I lost my first mate, Estelle five hundred years ago when our species was hunted and killed. 

They invaded the moon and struck down the goddess who held us close trying to shield us from the ongoing purge of Solarious and his men. If it hadn't been for Neese saving me that night I would have suffered the same fate as Estelle. Most nights I feel and wish I had joined her. Who would've thought five hundred years later I would find her again reincarnated in the mere soul of a human to lose her yet again at the hands of the reptilian bastards. 

I thought my only purpose in life was to stay alive to help stop the evil in this world from finding specimen X. Never thought I could find love again. Find her again. Rage consumes me even more and Leona takes over fully. Our strength increased by tenfold. 

With a loud howl and snarl, we whipped out of the room and on to the next floor. The main floor where the rest of these miserable beings were. It was time for them to all die. They had fucked with the wrong girl and they were going to suffer for it. 

Emily P.O.V.

Floating through the wall I levitate above Z, following her quick speed, curious to see what she was going to do. A part of me had a feeling she would go on a murderous rampage, but another part had to see it to believe it. 

Z made her way to the upper level known as the bridge. There she came across the ship's captain and the other reptilian crew members. Turning to her in shock at this massive black beast in front of them, they charged forward fighting with everything they had in them. None of them was a match with multiple swift motions of her massive arm span Z thrusts them back into walls and a few over the edge. The one's fallen to the ground suffered the worst fate. Z grabbed them by their scaly necks crushing them in her paw and ripping their beating hearts out with the other. 

Drawing back the remaining of the crew was the captain. Z turned her rage and hate-filled gaze upon him and growled loudly making the walls vibrate. 

"Spare me please!" He hissed out falling to his knees before her.

"Spare you? Don't make me laugh" Z cackled. 

"Mercy, I beg of you" he pleaded once more.

His pleas fell on deaf ears, she didn't want to hear anymore begging from him. As far as Z was concerned he lost his right to live the moment mine was taken. Grabbing him just as the others she held his face close to her long muzzle. 

"You don't deserve mercy, none of you do, and when I find the best of your pathetic species I will wipe you all into oblivion!" 

Spitting out her words with such ferocity his neck was crushed instantly killing him. Z tossed the lifeless body to the floor. 

The sight of how merciless Z had become in her Lycan state rocked me to my view. Sure they deserve what they got for all the lives they have taken and torture they put me through. A small part of me though felt that there could've been another way there should have been another way. Maybe taking them prisoner and finding out what they know. 

Still following Z she returned back to the lower level to my lifeless body. Holding me bridle style in her long Lycan arms. Leaving the room and not looking back she carried me with her all the way back to the fighter she had used to board the ship. Setting me in the back she looked at me. 

"I can't ever right all the wrongs that were done to you, or ever heal what pieces of your heart are broken. I failed you and I have to live with that, but I promise to guard over you if I am given the chance to do so."  Z sighed heavily and sat in the pilot chair. 

Igniting the thrusters and speeding away from the reptilian ship leaving all the dead reptilians behind.  As she got a safe distance away Z fired two large missiles from the fighter at the ship blowing it to bits. Whatever research they had was now gone. Burning to ash in the flames that set throughout the ship.

Z P.O.V.

 Returning back to Emily's lifeless body made me cringe. The sight of seeing all the holes on her sides and the blood that leaked from them enraging and gut-wrenching. No one should have to endure such pain and torture even a mere human-like Emily. Picking her up in bridal style in my arms, her body was cold as ice and so limp. 

The young pale white sometimes blushing red girl I had come to be annoyed highly by was now this blue-colored corpse. Dearest Emily, how I wish you were still here, how I wish I could tell you how much you may drive me crazy but the connection between us cannot be ignored any longer to tell you that you are my mate. 

I have so many regrets in my long miserable life, so many that I am ashamed to admit. One would think being alive for decades would have the most knowledge and the wisest of minds. That is not the case with me, I've always been reckless and carefree. Estelle had kept me balanced and grounded. She made me happy and felt alive and the most amazing of ways. When the day came and I couldn't protect her when I would never see her smile feel her touch again. When that happened everything fell into darkness and built walls high so no one would ever be let in, no one would ever be able to break my heart. I allowed the hate and guilt to consume me and eat my body alive. The only thing I had left to live for was stopping Solarious and his army from taking over. 

I lived for only the desire to kill the being who had taken everything from me. The one that was responsible for my heartbreak. And yet hundreds and hundreds of years later here you are a naive annoying human breaking down my walls and warming my heart regardless if you knew it or not. No matter how much I ignored the connection building between us, I felt my heart growing more and more fond of you. I waited too long to realize that I have started falling for you. Words I will never be able to say to you. For that, I regret it the most. 

Heading a course for Luxious I shift Leona back to her spiritual state, returning my body back to my skin and erasing any signs of fur. My eyes returning back to their normal green jaded color. Placing the fighter on autopilot I tilted my head back. Fighting back the tears became a struggle. I am not one for weeping especially in front of others. Falling from my eyes involuntarily I wiped at them with the palms of my hands.  Closing my eyes I had managed to quiet my mind and calm my emotions. 

Emily P.O.V.

Back in school, I had learned that the Greeks believed the dead can hear the thoughts of the living. I always believed it to be nothing more than a myth. A myth brought up to put the minds at ease for people who were dying and those who remained behind in the land of the living. 

The only advantage of being dead is that I can in fact hear every thought Z has playing in her head. She's speaking to me in her mind, unknowing that I can hear every thought as if I was right there face to face in flesh having a conversation with her. I wish I was alive so that I could go to her and wrap my arms around her muscular body and tell her that I love her.  Maybe it is fate that it turned out to be this way. It seems we will never know how far we would have made it, what our futures would hold. Life truly is an unfair cruel travesty.

Z P.O.V.

 An alert chimes in the cockpit, the radar shows we are fixing to dock Luxious. Sitting up straight I take the controls and run off the autopilot. Gradually I lower the fighter into an empty space in the docking bay. The others must've seen me on the ship's radar. Meeting me on the bay as I exit the cockpit. Natasha, Nicole, and Roland all stand by the ship. 

"Where is Emily?" Natasha questions. 

"Did you find her Z" Nicole adds.

Both the twins have concern written all over their face. They need not speak their feelings, body language says it all. Emily became a good friend of theirs. And them not being able to keep her safe from the reptilians that kidnapped her filled them with guilt. I ignore their questions avoiding their eyes. 

Natasha lifts up her hand and tugs my pant leg. "Z are you going to answer us?" 

Mustering up the strength to look at them I swallow hard. Before I can even conjure up sentences Natasha and Nicole are in tears. 

"I could-" I pause for a minute choking. 

"I couldn't save her, I lost her...we lost her" Tears stream down from the corners of my eyes. 

Natasha and Nicole hug one another for comfort. Roland puts his head down in disbelief at the loss of Emily.  Picking her up out of the second seat, I step down from the ship. Roland lays a hand on my shoulder. "take her to the infirmary" 

His words gentle and soft I nod my head and shamefully make my way out of the docking bag and to the infirmary. All the technological advancements in existence, too bad there aren't one for bringing back the dead. Placing her on the soft mattress I lay the sheet midway on her torso. Not yet ready to say goodbye to her. Longing for her to wake up and annoy the shit out of me or even call me an asshole. That would be something. 

The door shifts open, I don't bother to see who it is. The smell of the strong cologne and gel used by this person tells me it is Neese.

"What do you want?" I say sternly.

" I'm sorry Z" he replies shortly. 

Turning to glare at him I meet his eyes. Neese stands tall and confident, he knows I am in no mood to play games. So why would he be down here in the first place? 

"I'll ask one last time, what do you want?" This time I grit my teeth growing angrier and angrier with him. 

Stepping close to me he half smirks and cocks an eyebrow up at me.  " The girls told me Emily was dead, I came to see how you were holding up. And to ask you something, if you feel up for a chat" 

Fully facing Neese now I looked at him brow furrowed my eyes shooting invisible daggers at him. " if you are trying to piss me off it is working and I assure you, Neese being a leader of this group will not save you from my rage. Whatever it is, spit it out." 

Putting his hands up in a surrender motion, he sighs. " What if I told you there is a way to save Emily, to bring her back from the dead?" 

Astonished by his question I can't help but stare at him as my eyes grow wide.  How can he even have the knowledge for something like that? 

" Don't play games with me, Neese, " I reply quickly. 

"Z I wish to save Emily, there are no games here"  His tone is serious. 

Every ounce of me wants to believe that there is a way to bring her back. A second chance for me, a way to correct what I  have done, another chance at redemption. Still, I can't help but think there may be more to this than he is leading on. 

" Okay, Neese you have piqued my interest, what is this supposed way you speak of?"

Clearing his throat Neese pulls out a red stone from the pocket of his black slacks. Holding it out to give me a better view. 

"Tell me Z, in all the centuries you have lived have you ever heard of the stone dubbed the talisman of life?"