PAINFUL FEELINGS

Narrated by Noha

The moment I touched his lips in front of everyone I realized that it had been a mistake, it was the worst thing that ever occurred to me, the worst of all was something that I did not even have planned, I just did it, I had to leave In a hurry he was sure that he would kiss her again and in fact right now it is what I most desire. I know I was wrong but I did her a favor, it didn't do her any good to be around someone like me, I still find it hard to believe that such a weak girl could do this to me, she looked so daring and brave.

I get out of the shower and put a towel around my hip, I get out of the bathroom and as I imagined Richard is in the kitchen preparing dinner or trying.

"What are you doing, ruining my kitchen?" I ask with mock annoyance.

He has it all messed up and because of the smell I don't think that whatever he's preparing is edible without looking up he asks.

Richard, "you have nothing to say?"

"Mmm no, you?" I say as if I don't know what he means.

"How could you do something I did to Nalla." criticizes me.

Noha, "sorry, but she started or you didn't see it."

Richard, "You must have done something to her, she is a very pretty and tender girl, she does not deserve that you do that to her."

"I talk about the one who hangs out with a different girl every week," he attacked.

"It's different. Nalla is another type of girl, plus Abel is interested in her," he says as he continues whatever he does in the kitchen.

"So, what do you know?" I ask hiding my annoyance.

Richard "Even a blind man would know."

"And what if I like it too," I blurted out without even realizing my words.

Obviously that's on my list of forbidden things.

Richard, "don't be stupid, since Bella died you haven't noticed any of them."

The simple mention of his name gives me an unsustainable rage that I punch the wall, the pain is unbearable.

"Don't mention her again," I yell at my best friend.

Richard looks at me with challenging eyes, but in the end he decides to shut up he knows that is not the correct topic of conversation at this moment.

"I'm leaving, I'm going to have dinner with the boys," says Richard.

He grabs his jacket and leaves the room leaving me alone with all this rage.

I go to my room and put on some clothes, I go back to the living room I need to relax, I pick up the book that I always read at times like this "Pride and Prejudice" I try to concentrate and read the following lines.

"I am a very selfish creature who cares only for my own feelings, without thinking that perhaps I would hurt his."

My hand trembles and in the end I throw the book, but that doesn't help at all, it just makes it worse and I end up sweeping everything on the small table in the living room, I destroy it almost like my hands, I go over to the shelf and a push threw her to the ground and all the books were thrown. My knuckles hurt, they are red and bloody and my head is hammering.

I go to the kitchen and take out my pills, I have a bottle of alcohol, I shouldn't, but I need it, I take them all at once with a big gulp, I feel like my stomach burns, I haven't drank for a long time, I Images of Bella come to mind, her bright gray eyes, her long, beautiful brown hair, but all those beautiful memories end in the same place.

"She's dead," I yell with all my might.

Everything around me begins to darken and I fall to my knees.

Richars decides to return to the apartment, it is not good to leave Noha alone and angry, deep down he hoped to find him calmer but he got a big surprise.

Richard "I hope you're okay now, but what the hell happened?"

He enters the room is all smashed, he finds Noha lying on the pale floor, he runs towards him completely scared.

"She's not awake ... I'm sorry, friend, I shouldn't have mentioned her," he laments.

Noha's cell phone rings, it is lying on the ground, it is reached by Ethan.

"Hey idiot mom and dad want to see you remember you have family," says Ethan behind the phone.

"I'm Richard, Noha's partner," says this very nervous.

"Something happened?" Ethan asks even more scared.

Richard, "passed out, I don't know what happened, but he won't come to."

"Don't move it, soon be there," ends Ethan.

It arrives in less than 5 minutes and when it enters it is a great disaster.

"How it happened?" he asks the boy with his brother.

"When I got back I was there, I found these pills," says Richard.

He hands him a bottle that he had ever seen in his life.

Ethan looks at them and then looks at the bottle that is scattered on the floor.

"He'll be fine let's go we have to go to a hospital," he finally announces.

A few minutes later, being there, Ethan approaches Richard.

Ethan, "I need to talk to you."

They both walk to the office.

Ethan "Those pills are a treatment I put on Noha until she had surgery."

Richard, "but what is it, does he have a serious problem?

Ethan "It is his vision, he is losing it and these drugs relieve his pain and stop the process a bit."

"And why did he faint?" Richard asks.

"They are strong drugs should not be drunk with alcohol," clarifies Ethan.

"I'm a jerk, I should have stayed with him," Richard blames himself.

"Don't blame yourself, Noha it's difficult, that's why I am telling you this because I need your help. Without his friends he will not be able to face any of these situations because you are sure that he will be unable to see for a while until we see how he comes out of the operation and the treatment and you well know that the family does not listen to us, so I beg you to help us, "Ethan manages to reassure Richard but also reveals how desperate he is.

Richard, "sure count on me."

"Perfect we better go over to see him, he must be awake by now," Ethan reports.

Both arrive at the hospital room, but discover an empty bed, Noha has escaped.

I woke up in a hospital room, imagine that this would happen, again dad will control me I will go to rehab, how can he be such an idiot, I get out of bed awkwardly and walk to the window, I have to get out of here, next to me there are some syringes with medicine, took two and put them in my pockets. I go through the garden of the clinic, and I run with all my might I need to get there quickly, I need to end this. I enter the pool area, the only place that gives me a bit of tranquility. I take out both syringes, bury the needle in my arm, I hope to end this when someone enters, I separate the water from my skin and I am hidden in the dark, I recognize perfectly who Nalla is, always arriving at the wrong time. I need to get her away from me and at first she approached her with that objective, I say ugly and nonsensical things to her and just when I think she is going to leave, we are like fools watching me, do not go, it is the request that I would not like to make and As if we were connected, she runs to me and kisses me, I receive the kiss gladly, I needed it, I kiss her eagerly as if she were a hungry animal.

"Enough," she says looking at me with fear on her face.

She fears me, I am a beast, a murderer for her.