Chapter 12 (Jangras POV) Im Sorry

I looked at my friend Kip, and then looked at how many dragons were on the prey pile. I realized that he might be right with what he had just said. Usually dragons shared 3 or 4 cows to theirselves, and I thought 5 would be a little bit too little to food them, but I saw how many dragons were here, and I knew that he was right.

I looked at the cows as they were split between pieces between dragons. I saw a couple of dragons being greedy and taking more to themselves than giving to the other dragons. I knew they were very hungry, but I also knew that they needed to get over all of it.

We needed to ration out even more, otherwise our tribe really would starve when the winter came. I looked at the pieces of my cow sadly, and took a few bites of it. But it was hard for me to swallow just a bite or two. I was very hungry, but that was not the problem.

I knew that a lot of dragons were very hungry... The young dragons, and the old dragons might be starving right now. I knew they did not need as much prey to eat, but I also knew that if they did not eat at all, they would starve and die.

I had heard stories from a long time ago. They were told about the ice age, and how many dragons died from that. I felt a bit guilty, and I felt a bit sick as well, as I then pushed the cow to the side a bit, as I was no longer willing to eat.

I saw 1 big dragon that was currently biting into a piece of a cow look up at me with a hoping look on his face. I saw that the dragon was big for a reason, and he was hoping that I would give him some of that prey as well. I shook my head at the dragon and moved the piece of the cow closer to me.

The dragon looked a bit disappointed but he did not say anything, as he kept on biting into his piece of cow that he already had in him. I looked at my piece of cow, and I could feel my stomach grumbling, but for some reason I just did not want to eat right now.

I saw Socra from quite far away as she had her eyes squinted at me. She was trying to read me for some odd reason. I did not know how she had not figured out at this point that it was nearly impossible for a dragon to try that on me. Maybe the only dragon that could do that would be an Oracle dragon.

Our tribe did not have an Oracle dragon, and they did not have that Oracle dragon for quite some time as well. It was not a must, all they really did is give us prophecies, and clearly that it not what our tribe needed right now.

Besides, usually the prophecies tended to tell us a bad story, and that is the last thing that we needed right now. My father was our bad story. I closed my eyes trying not to look at Socra, as I tried to clear all of those thoughts from my head at the same time.

I sat there for quite a while, just not thinking at all. Then my mind came back the the present, and I heard many dragons talking amongst themselves. I did not know if the dragons were really there or not, it was if I could focus on 1 dragons conversation, that was quite far away from me.

I opened my eyes, and I saw that Socra was no longer in that spot by the oak tree any more. I shook my head and then looked around me. There were not as many dragons around where I was at now. Many of the dragons had walked away to do something else, or they were above the cave at the sun rocks.

I realized that I had hardly eaten any of my cow as well, and I also realized that I was no longer hungry. I was sure that I would be hungry again not too long from now, but it was best not to leave a piece of cow to waste, especially in the times that we were in right now.

I thought about who I should give it to... Someone that really needed it right now. I thought about my mother and my sister, but I realized that they would not be hungry right now. I had seen them eating some pig just the other night.

While it would be nice to bring some sort of light no my sisters day, I knew that it would not really help her right now. I felt bad for my sister, she felt useless, and pointless now. My father did not help her feel any better at all either.

My mother was by her side all of the time, and I knew that sometimes my sister just wanted a break, just to clear her mind, and clear all of those thoughts from out of her head. I knew that she must be thinking a lot worse thoughts than me right now.

I looked into the cave, still at least asking them, although I knew that they would reject me. I did not see them in the normal spot, which told me that my sister was with my mother somewhere else as she was trying to teach her how to make do with missing practically her full vision.

It usually did not work very well. I had watched them from far away, even though my mother had told me not to do that. I had seen how frustrated my sister had gotten, and how easy it was for her just to give up. I felt sick for her, and I wished that we could swap places, thought I was not sure how much better that would be for her.

I then thought about bringing the cow to my father, I had not seen him eat in nearly forever. He might just eat at night, or just eat while I was not in camp. Though I was not sure if that were true... Usually dragons did not like to eat very much when they were depressed.

My father had the worst form of depression as well. He was probably starving right now, but he was forcing himself not to eat as well. I did not really want to be anywhere near my father right now, but I figured maybe I could try at least one thing that might light up his day.

I doubt that it would do very much, but there was no harm in trying right? He was not angry at me, I knew it, he was just weak, and he was hurt. He needed someone, and my mother was too busy helping my sister to make him feel any better.

I looked over into the large cave, trying to see if he was sitting in there anywhere, maybe just sleeping or pretending to, which he usually tended to be doing. I did not see him in the cave anywhere however. It was a bit of a surprise to me, but it also was not as well.

He very well could be in the meeting cave, he might be giving his vows to Socra right now. No... That was meant to be done at the meeting, whenever that was going to be as well. I still was waiting to hear back on that from Socra as well...

She was ignoring me right now though, maybe it was going to be a surprise, or maybe she was so angry with me, she would be giving leader to some other dragon... But what other dragon would that be? No dragons could come to mind right now besides Kota... He had not said anything about that, nor had he been acting strange either.

I shook my head, as I leaned my head over to try to see if my father was potentially in the leaders cave speaking with Socra right now. It was too hard, and too far away for me to see right now. I moved across a little bit closer, and poked my head through the line of trees.

I did not see Socra or my father in the cave though. I thought to myself for a few moments where they might be at. They surely could not be with each other right now right? If they were doing a meeting than it would be in there. Every dragon in the tribe knew not to go anywhere near that cave.

I had broken the rules a few times though when I was younger, and I had nearly gotten in trouble 1 time because of it, but I was lucky enough that Socra did not tell my father about that. That was the same day I was appointed to be the next deputy of the tribe as well.

I then remembered that same day as well what Socra had said to me. She had told me that she would be passing down the reigns of deputy to me once I was done with my training... She had plans to retire... That would not happen now that she was going to be the leader of the tribe surely right?

I closed my eyes trying to get all of those thoughts from out of my head. This time it did not work very well for me, as I sat there and the thoughts began to drown my brain. If she was just going to pass down the reigns of leadership to me once she was done training... That meant I was going to be the leader once I was 25?

It scared me to think about it like that. I was scared to even think about being the leader of the tribe once I was in my hundreds... Thinking about being a leader once I was barely fully grown was even more scary to me. I tried not to think about it any more than I already was however.

This time it seemed to do fairly decent work, as I opened my eyes and looked around to see what was around me. I looked around at the tribes camp, and saw a few dragons standing around speaking to one another, and I saw some dragons on top of the cave enjoying the rest of the warm sun that would be here for the year.

I looked around for just a few moments longer, and then it came to me what I was doing before I got lost in my thoughts, as I usually tended to do. I looked down at the cow that was sitting on the ground below me, and I nodded my head to myself, thinking of who to feed it to, that might want it.

I looked into the cave once again, seeing a few elders, and some young dragons, and I thought about brining it to them, but I could see them already sharing some food amongst themselves. Soneone had been kind, and had thought about them and had brought some food to them.

I looked away from them, realizing that they would be fine for the next couple of days, and I then spotted 2 dragons laying down in the far left corner of the cave, they were not too far away from me either. I saw it to be Penta, and her grandfather, Ipse.

I sat there for a few moments, and thought to myself if it really was a good idea to be bringing food to a dragon that I was once in love with. That was not the worst part about it, she had nearly killed me as well, and she had nearly killed Ipse too.

I did not know how Ipse could still stand to be beside her. She had the intents to kill us as well, though she had failed at both of us... Now he just acted like things were perfectly okay, and it had all gone back to normal. I did not really understand that.

I shook my head though, Ipse was a great dragon, and I was close to him as well. If I was going to go over to them and to give them food, than I would do it for him. I wanted to catch up on some things with him as well. He was one of the most praised about dragons in our tribe.

I picked up the piece of the cow, and then began to fly over to the both of them, which were not too far away from me at all. I could see that they were not asleep, and they also were not talking to each other. It seemed as if they were just lost in their thoughts.

It also seemed like as I flew over to them, that the piece of cow that I had on me was beginning to shrink as well. What would be a meal for both of them began to feel like a small little snack for 1 dragon. I then landed beside them, and both of them looked a bit surprised to see a guest, something that probably did not happen to them very often any more.

Ipse looked at me for a few moments, and then I big smile began to crack on his face. That was not the main thing that I was really focused on right now however... I saw the look on Pentas face, and I could tell that she was a bit embarassed to be in the same air space as me right now.

I stared her down for a few moments, as I realized that she was paying no attention to me, and she had her head staring down at the ground. It still made me feel like I was the superior over her, and it made me feel all the better at the same time as well.

It almost cracked a smile on my face as well, but I stopped myself as I realized that could be seen as major disrespect as well. I closed my eyes and then I turned my head back over to Ipse, as I heard him begin to speak to me with some excitement in his voice.

"Hi Jangra! Did you bring some of that cow for us? Thank you if so! It has been a while since we have eaten, it seems to be that a lot of the tribe had forgotten about us." He said to me. I looked at him for a few moments, and then I nodded to him.

I knew that he was a smart dragon, and I also knew that he knew why know dragon wanted to come near them right now. It had nothing to do with him, or them just forgetting about them as well. I knew that every dragon still remembers the fight, as if it were yesterday, they felt sick being around Penta.

I sat there for a few moments, looking back at Penta. A part of me wanted to feel bad at her, but I also realized as well that she had brought all of this on herself. I looked away from her, and then back over to Ipse, as I saw the look on his face, and I realized at the same time as well that he was waiting for me to respond at the same time. I then began to speak up to him.

"Yes... I was thinking of a dragon that might be hungry, and I spotted you alone in the corner... I thought what better way then to bring it over to you two." I said to him. He looked at me for a few moments, and then he nodded, before a big smile began to crack up onto his face once again.

I knew why as well, he had noticed the fact that I had not just said him. I had said the both of them, and it made him feel a lot better. I knew that it would cheer him up, though I still did not know how he could love his grand daughter so much.

I tossed the piece of cow over to him, and he nodded back to me gratefully. He then pulled it closer to him, and then he nudged up against Penta to get her to pay attention to him. She sat there for a few moments, as if she had not felt his nudge.

She then realized that she could not fake that, and she looked over to her grand father, making sure that she did not look over to me when she turned her head over to Ipse. I did not think about it that deep, I knew that she was not angry at me, she was just more embarrassed to be near me.

Ipse looked at her for a few moments, and then he nodded to her to bite into the cow. I could tell that the both of them were very hungry, and I could also see their bodies were losing a lot of weight very fast as well... I wondered how long it had been since they had actually last eaten.

Penta looked at him for a few moments, as if she were not too sure if she should bite into the cow. For a few moments I thought she was going to look over to me to see if I wanted her to eat some of it, but she did not do that at all. She just sat there for quite a few moments, until she then nodded to Ipse.

She then began to bit into the cow at a very rapid pace at the same time as well. I could tell that she was very hungry, and I nearly cracked a smile, until I realized who I would be smiling about. Ipse looked at her for a few moments, and then he began to speak to her.

"Penta... Can you say thanks to Jangra? He is the one that brought us the cow... He out of all dragons should be the last dragon to be thinking about us right now." He said to her. I looked at Ipse for a few moments, I bit surprised at the fact that he had just asked her to say that to me.

He knew just as good as I did, that it would be way too hard for her to say that to me. She stopped herself from continuing to bite into the cow. She stopped doing anything for a few moments, and I had wondered if her soul had just completely disappeared for a few moments.

I knew why she was like that as well, and I knew that Ipse did too. I knew that even if she regretted what she had done to me in the first place, it would be too hard for her to even apologize about it to me. I had very little doubt if she had even apologized to Ipse about what she had done yet.

She sat there for a few moments longer, and then she finally lifted her head up, but she did not lift her head up to focus her attention on me. She looked over at her grand father, and I could tell that there was real pain in her face, as she then began to speak.

"He brought the cow for you... Not for me... You are just nice enough to share the cow with me." She said to him. I sat there for a few moments, quite a bit surprised at what she had just said. She had a tone of voice like she had 0 emotion, but her face said a completely different story.

I looked down at the ground for a few moments, and realized just how much what she had just said had really hurt me. I did not know if she had said that because she thought that I was too mad at her, or if she was upset at me. It did not make sense. Why would she be the one that was angry at me?

I realized why it had hurt me so badly as well... I remembered how I had been so in love with this dragon in the first place. How she had just denied me, and practically spit on me. How she had then tried to kill me, but not just that, she had tried to kill a dragon that I deeply cared for as well.

Thinking about being in love with her at one point, also then made me remember being in love with Yikla as well. Then how she had just left us the same night that I had confessed it to her as well... I wondered if it was just me having bad luck, or if All Girls Are The Same...

Even if she had hurt me so badly, there was still a deep place in my heart as well for the both of them. Though I had once been in love with them, and then they had hurt me, I still had some sort of feeling of love for them, that just refused to go away for some odd reason or another.

I wondered if my dad felt the same way when he thought about the black female dragon that he had fallen in love with such a long time ago. I tried my best to shake off all of those thoughts. I did not like to think about my father very much anymore.

I shook my head, and then I looked over at Ipse, as I saw that he was beginning to speak up to the both of us, after the long moments of silence that had fallen in the room, or rather the quite large cave that we were in right now...

"Well... You should still say thank you, even if it was not meant for you... I am sure he worked hard to get this cow for us." He said to her. She was still biting into the cow, until she had heard what he had just said to her. She then pushed the piece of the cow over to Ipse a bit upset at him.

It pained me to see both of them like this, they both were not the same any more. Physically for Ipse, and mentally for the both of them as well. I looked down at the ground a bit sadly, as I felt the same energy of pain radiating from Ipse as well.

I knew that he had so badly wanted us to be together, and it had hurt him a lot when she had tried to kill the both of us. It still hurt me as well, just the way that she was acting right now. It was if she had not learned a thing from all that had happened.

I shook it off though, and I lifted my head up at the both of them. Though I saw that Penta had her head back down at the ground once again. Ipse looked up at me a bit surprised, as I then stepped up, as I began to speak a bit loudly, so that it could get through Penta's thick skull as well.

"I meant it for the both of you... Penta, though I do not love you anymore, there is still a place in my heart for you. You are a beautiful dragon, both outside and in, and I hope you can get better from whatever it is that goes through your head on the daily basis..." I said pointed directly at Penta though I was looking to Ipse... I sat there for a few more seconds and then I began to continue talking... "If you want to ignore me, and pretend none of that ever existed... Go ahead... I brought this here for both of you, so enjoy it, it is hard to make friends and keep them."

I saw the pain as it struck down deep on her face. I knew that it hurt her a lot, the decisions that she had made, and the way that she had treated the both of us. I looked away and shook my head as I began to walk out of the cave, just wondering what it was that I was going to do next... I then stopped myself as to my surprise I heard Penta speak to me from behind me.

"Jangra... For everything that I did... I just want to you truthfully, that Im sorry..."