Those words caused such a shock that if felt as if her world began to spin off balance. She tried to digest the idea of something much more grave than mere death--but murder. And as she considered the mortality of a girl that had been dead right where they had driven back and forth for days and days, goose pimples began to cover her skin and her breakfast threatened to come up.
But then her breath froze in her chest as she remembered Tino leaving that very same building two days before.
Later when Vanessa found out the extent of the atrocities that the girl had suffered—whispered to her under the stairs at school or by her cousin, fears multiplied and were forever transformed from those of her past where the clowns at the circus gave her nightmares, or she swore that her dolls moved at night when the only light available was that of the moon edging through her closed shades. Fear was no longer something mundane as the Mummy's bandaged hand creeping from beneath her bed and reaching for her. Real fear wore the nightmare face of dead little girls that lay naked in abandoned buildings wearing frozen looks of horror across beaten faces.
She feared a new Boogeyman and he was just a teenager with an Afro and hate filled dark eyes. She never told, never hinted to knowing because if the police asked her and she didn't lie well enough, then the next little girl to disappear might be her.
That had been over a year ago but the fear hadn't died—it had grown. Sometimes as she approached the building she would think that the little girl's body was still there. Sometimes she was convinced that a different little girl was there. But worse is when she saw herself lying dead in that building. The fear nearly paralyzed her and there were times when she could very easily pee her pants. She wouldn't want to look at the building but you had to. By not looking it invited something to sneak up on you and to catch you by surprise. So when she was a few yards from the horrible place she would work up her nerves to run. It was an upward run so she had to get as close as she dared before she began her sprint, otherwise she would run out of breath. Running out of breath too close to that building would be unimaginable.
Vanessa's mouth grew dry and her bladder felt heavy. She wished she had peed before leaving school. She couldn't even cross the street because the other side of the street was just a steep incline in which the Hilltop had been cut from. There was no sidewalk on the other side.
She eyed the building and then her legs went into action without her remembering ever commanding them. She sprinted, her feet slapping the pavement rapidly, almost too loud; a sound that might awaken the dead and make them curious about why another little girl was so close but trying to get away.
Get her! She's getting away!
Vanessa's mouth opened to scream, as her imagination seemed to create reality. She ran so fast that she felt like … like Scotty when he flew down the hill back to the projects, feet rapidly peddling, his bike nearly soaring through the night. Scotty Tremont. Something sprouted in her chest; glee, joy, a hint of a smile. Scotty Tremont … She wanted to sing his name. Scotty …
And before she knew it, the building was far far away and so was the fear. Something, that moments before had nearly paralyzed her was now a forgotten memory as she stopped sprinting and resumed her walk. She started to sing softly to herself, a bit out of breath but feeling something brand new blooming inside of her.
The lyrics to Always and Forever by Heatwave rang out from the little girl. Her surprisingly strong yet melodic voice was almost unbearably beautiful. She became lost in the joy of singing, her mind's eye pulling up images of Scotty. And when the break in the song happened, Vanessa White squeezed her hands into fists and threw her head back and wailed out emotionally as her voice grew deep and rose high and carried her heart into the sky.
When she finished singing there was barely a sound that could be heard, and that was mainly because people had stopped what they were doing in order to listen to the distant singing. Vanessa paused, but only long enough to get her second wind, and then she began to skip. She was tired. It was a long walk but singing and thinking about how cute Scotty was helped to take her mind off the forty-minute trek.
As Vanessa finally reached her parking lot and home she became anxious. Hopefully mama had left the key for her. She put it under the mat and most times when she was forced to walk home the key was there. But sometimes it wasn't …
Out of breath and wanting nothing more than to make some chocolate milk and to watch the last of The Electric Company, Vanessa checked to make sure no one was looking and then she lifted the front mat with it's warm message of WELCOME printed in fading black dye. Her heart dropped. The key wasn't there.
"Oh mannn…" she frowned. "I gotta pee. Dang, mama why you gotta be late today?!" She muttered. She looked around and spotted some really little kids playing in front of their houses. Yeah, right! Everybody else was in their comfortable house watching The Electric Company and probably drinking Yoo-hoos! She sighed and walked slowly to the edge of the parking lot that overlooked the hill that she had just climbed. Not many cars ever drove up this way and she tried to scope out her mother's white Caddy. She even tried to pretend that she could see all the way down to Winton Road and that her mama's car was speeding down the street trying to get to her before she had to walk by herself. Her mama would be worried sick and apologetic and then they would go out and get dinner and everything would be okay.
She sighed and looked around again. She didn't know her neighbors, her mother kept to herself and barely said more than good morning to anyone. Besides, she wouldn't knock on someone's door that she didn't really know and ask to use the bathroom even if she did play with their kids every blue moon when she was allowed outside.