Chapter 19

So fake. And she hated auntie using her mama's pet name for her.

"Bye."

While they drove up the hill mama asked her if she was hungry and she said no and told her mother what they'd had for dinner. Mama bobbed her head to the music playing from the eight track; Voices Inside by Donnie Hathaway. It was old but mama said that Willie Weeks on bass was the very definition of soul.

"Everything is everything," she sang when the song was over and then nodded her head in agreement. Vanessa rested her head against the door and yawned.

"What does that mean?"

"Everything is everything? It means that it is what it is."

Vanessa giggled. "And what does that mean?"

Leelah smiled. "It means that what you see is what you get."

Vanessa smiled warmly. "But what does it mean?"

Her mother thought for a while. "Everything is everything means that there is nothing more than what is right before you. No tricks, no secrets; its all laid out."

One day Vanessa would know that everything is everything also had another meaning. But at that moment, at the age of twelve she felt comfortable in her mother's car, with soul music playing softly over the stereo and the sound of her mother's hums lulling her to sleep.

II

Two days later Mr. Price arranged a 'field trip' for the both of them to visit Walnut Hills High School. Although he didn't want to admit it, Scotty was intrigued with the college preparatory and the students that attended it. He was told that there was no true dress code but he was still surprised to see that everyone dressed just like they did at his school. He knew that rich kids attended the college preparatory just like poor kids like him, but he literally could not tell the difference between them.

Another difference is that there were just as many white kids as there were blacks, which meant that he wasn't in the minority. He chuckled at that. Several white chicks actually looked at him with interest and then continued to eye him. Most of the girls that he liked at his own school had no interest in a white boy whose mother was often seen tricking out on Vine Street. So he didn't even try when it came to girls.

Scotty shook his head as if bringing himself around to the real crux; he didn't want to like this school. He didn't know if he could …

He gave Mr. Price a desperate look but lowered his eyes before the teacher saw. They continued to one of the honors classes and the teacher there was young, smart and hip. He talked to the students like he was a student and the students listened and interacted in a way that showed that they weren't just trying to pass the time but actually wanted to learn something.

Did he want to learn something?

He supposed that was the question.

II

Vanessa and Jalissa's gang began meeting after school hours. Once the girls knew that Vanessa would be in their territory everyday they became excited and formed a second clubhouse located in the park by the benches. At first the girls acted like they were too old to play on the outdoor equipment but after a few days they were on the swings and jungle gym just like the other kids.

As the weeks moved forward Vanessa decided that she was a fool for not wanting to come down the hill to stay with Jalissa. Yes, aunt Callista was mean but she learned to just stay out from under foot. Every day she did the dishes without being asked and once she even got her aunt a bottle of Coke without her even asking for it. For that little stunt she earned a surprised thank you.

Aunt Callista had a boyfriend named Mr. Johnny. Jalissa didn't agree that Mr. Johnny was her mother's boyfriend since he had a whole lot of girlfriends, but he did come over and keep aunt Callista preoccupied so she welcomed his appearance. At least until the one night that she and Jalissa were asleep on the sofa bed and Mr. Johnny came downstairs and walked into the kitchen wearing absolutely no clothes.

She pretended to be asleep but had clearly seen Mr. Johnny's. He ignored them and went into the kitchen for soda. The light from the refrigerator is how she was able to see 'it', gross and sticking out. After getting the soda he quickly returned upstairs and then Vanessa heard the mattress squeak and auntie making sounds like the ladies made in the R rated movies at the Regal Theater.

Vanessa stifled a giggle. Her mother didn't have a boyfriend and no man ever came to their house so this was a sound that she was unaccustomed to hearing, but it was one that she would soon get used to.

On Halloween Vanessa went trick or treating with Jalissa and their gang and it was the best fun that Vanessa had ever had. After they returned home aunt Callista failed to check their candy the way her mama always did. They gorged themselves anyways and found no razors or other questionable ingredients embedded in their candy. Aunt Callista allowed them to stay up late and they watched Maude before falling asleep with the television on. Vanessa couldn't be sure but she believed that her last thought before drifting off into a contented sleep was that life was really good.