Chapter 12

Instead of immediately responding Stella decided to take a few calming breaths. This was exactly the reason that she had always opted to stay single. Small things annoyed the bejesus out of her, specifically things centered around men and relationships. She couldn‘t handle the little dance that you did with someone new—like the one Evan was doing now. So she tried to politely ‘keep it real‘, even though Evan acted as if they were in a relationship after only a month of dating.

She‘d done her part in keeping things casual. Hadn‘t she kept their sexual excursions limited to his condo so that she could leave immediately afterwards? Didn‘t she tell him that she didn‘t want to introduce him to her son? Or maybe he thought that meant for now and not forever…

The thing about Evan is that he was a good catch and deep down she knew it. Her annoyance was just a manifestation of her own lack of interest even though he was everything that the average woman could want. He was beyond good-looking with a deep chocolate complexion, a dark, velvety goatee surrounding amazingly kissable lips. He made good money, had a great job, and lived in a high-priced condo. All of her friends said that he was a good catch so she kept him around, not because she wanted him but because she should want him. Only she didn‘t feel that way about him or any man.

"I‘m right in the middle of something. Can I call you back?" she asked, distracted. But she still made sure to keep her voice light and polite as she continued searching for the elusive phone number.

"Well I just wanted to know if you wanted to go out to dinner tonight, you know, before you hit the beach?"

Translation: I wanted to know if I can get some booty before you leave town.

"Sorry. I‘m going to be super busy." She placed him on speaker so that she could open an email from the rental.

"Well you have to eat, right?" He continued. Her brow arched.

…with Adam, my son that you‘ve never met…

"Yeah…" She said slowly and distinctly. "But I‘ll be too busy to go out."

"I could bring you something. I‘ve never met your son."

Stella almost choked. Did this fool just invite himself over to her home-which he‘d never set foot in? Did he just suggest meeting he son before she‘d ever extended the invitation?

She pulled out the dining room chair and sat down casually and then crossed her legs. She placed the phone on the table. And then she gave her annoyance permission to do whatever it wanted. Here we go…

"No Evan. I am busy. I cannot eat with you today, tonight…" or possibly ever you persistent freak. "I will call you when things aren‘t so hectic."

Evan sighed. "Listen Stella. I really like you. I don‘t feel as if…you realize that. I mean, I‘m not trying to toot my own horn, but most women would really appreciate what I‘m about."

Now he was calling her unappreciative? This is why she didn‘t do relationships, she reminded herself as her annoyance changed to real anger.

"I know this is not a good time, but I‘d really like to move our relationship to another level." He paused while she seethed silently. Some other woman might feel a special way about his revelation. But she wasn‘t that woman. She was just preoccupied by the realization that he was still talking after she‘d told him twice that she was busy.

"Wow…" he finally took the hint when the silence stretched. "I guess you really are busy, or maybe I mistook your interest."

"How is this even a question?" she asked incredulously. "I told you that I was busy. And instead of respecting that you just keep…pushing."

Now it was his turn to become silent. When he finally spoke his voice was clipped and angry. "Well, I‘m sorry that my phone call was such an inconvenience."

Sarcasm was met with sarcasm when she responded. "Apology accepted. Again, I‘ll talk to you when I‘m not so busy."

"Don‘t bother," he snapped.

"Okay." Bye bye now, and good riddance. Have a good life. She ended the call in relief.

~*~

Men described Stella as coldblooded and hard to get next to. She didn‘t dispute it. She had always known that she wasn‘t like other people; that she didn‘t feel like other people. She latched onto a few friends and was content with that. Even during college when people went through a sexual awakening she had viewed sex more like something to study and analyze. It was enjoyable, but so was hot chocolate with marshmallows.

Her friends would try to set her up with available men when she just preferred going to the movies or out to eat with a few buddies. But it made sense that she could do that with her own man. So she had gone out on dates but she never felt the way her friends seemed to feel about men. In fact it was kind of annoying the way they always went on and on about their new guy. Men seemed to change women. Her friends got stupid and giddy over their men. Or maybe it was the dick that made them giddy. Or maybe she just didn‘t understand because she didn‘t particularly care for most men.

Stella wasn‘t exactly a man-hater. She loved her father, and her son Adam was the most important person in her life. She had wondered if she was a lesbian. She did like her friends much more than she liked the guys she dated, especially when they became pushy or possessive. But Stella realized pretty quickly that she didn‘t like vagina, so there it was.

She thought that she was maybe a bit asexual. She‘d done some research on it and determined that while she enjoyed sex, she wasn‘t driven by the need for it. After a while, Stella decided that it was because she was just focused. And now that she had a child her interests centered on making their lives the best that she could.

The unfortunate thing is that men liked her. A lot. She was six feet tall—but also thick and curvy. She carried it well…or maybe it was that she didn‘t lack for confidence, and obviously she didn‘t desire the approval of the opposite sex. She was comfortable in her own skin. More than one man had likened her to Serena Williams but she looked nothing like her and determined that men just didn‘t know how to categorize someone like her.