Chapter 13

"Just for a while longer."

They reached the restaurant, and Jen continued asking her questions. Jane explained that she had continued living there until she finished college but would now find her own place. Jane was not comfortable speaking of it, though for once Jen listened intently. Eventually she warmed up and described what it was like to live in a household of nuns. Boring.

They ordered their lunch. It was pretty expensive even for the salad that Jen ordered. Since it was the cheapest thing on the menu, she ordered the same. But nearly nine dollars for a bowl of raw vegetables that she could get for free from Sister Brown Mary's garden? From now on she would pack a sandwich.

They returned to work happy and laughing and Jane felt good. She had her degree, a good job, and a new friend who didn't judge her, an old friend who had never stopped caring about her, and the world didn't seem like such a scary place after all.

"Let's stop at the canteen and get some chocolate," Jen said.

"You just ate a salad to keep your weight down!"

"I know but its Friday," Jen said. "We should treat ourselves!"

Jane grinned. "I'm just saying. You could have had the lasagna and treated yourself."

They stopped at the fourth floor and headed for the vending machines that sold everything from questionable sandwiches to chips and candy. Jane saw Jen's friends and hoped Jen wouldn't want to sit with them. They'd been gone a long time and she was anxious to get back upstairs to check the messages. She knew that they were allowed lunch, but they had been gone much longer than their allotted half hour.

"Let's go over and say hi," Jen said, already leading the way, her chocolate bar hidden away into her purse.

The three women at the table had yet to see them approach. Lois, Mr. Bradbury's assistant, was chuckling.

"… there isn't enough work for one let alone two. Tim has her training her own replacement and she hasn't even figured it out."

Claudette nudged the gossiping woman as all eyes fell on them.

"Oh there you are, stranger," Lois said so sweetly to Jen, as if she hadn't been talking about her one second before. "Where have you been?"

Jen plastered on a fake smile, but her face had gone white. "Great. It's Friday. Jane and I thought we'd say hi, but we better head back before the office collapses without us."

Jane nodded at them not sure what this was and how she was supposed to play her role. She didn't understand this and there was more going on than what she could see.

Jen turned and left chatting endlessly about her weekend plans. Jane realized that she was pretending as if she hadn't heard any of it. Jane wanted to say, "Stop and let's talk about this," but she didn't.

II

Tim stared into his closet at a loss for how he should dress. Going to dinner at his best friend's house had never been this complicated. He cursed Elaina for wanting to introduce him to this woman. He didn't want it, and now he was a nervous wreck!

He snatched down a pair of beige Dockers and stared at them in disbelief. What the hell was he doing? He wasn't going on a casual stroll somewhere! This was dinner … wait … no. He tossed the pants on his bed and returned to his closet, bypassing the black slacks and settling for dark blue Dockers.

It took him another fifteen minutes to select a baby blue shirt. Corrine said the shirt brought out his eyes. Tim shaved and showered then he stood naked in front of the mirror. Yikes. Jakob might not have been exaggerating. He sucked in his stomach and slapped his chest. He was still mostly muscle, but it was definitely becoming soft.

He blow-dried his hair. He'd gotten it cut yesterday and had stared in wonder at the length of the clippings scattered along the floor. He didn't realize how much he had let himself go. He dressed, and the next time he looked into the mirror he saw a man that he recognized. There were more creases at the corner of his eyes, and he was definitely too pale. But he had never had occasion to doubt his looks. Corrine had said once, "Honey, you are like Sean Connery. You're just getting better with age …"

The memory made him smile. That was a first. When he thought about Corrine he usually felt … depleted, as if someone had drained the life right out of him.

Tim walked into the kitchen and was hit with a bad odor. He looked at the sink full of dirty dishes. It wasn't that. It was the refrigerator. Damnit, he needed a housekeeper, except a housekeeper would invade his space and disrupt the careful balance he had between memories and reality. His brother had asked him why he still lived in this big house. A four-bedroom house for only two was excessive, but for one—it was downright crazy.

Except that moving would require him to touch everything that Corrine had so lovingly placed. To then place those items into a box and to seal that box was unthinkable. And once the boxes were sealed they would never be opened by him again. And the idea of that was like burying her all over again. He couldn't do it.

So yes, he was aware that he lived in Corrine's tomb. Tim's face pulled down into an angry scowl as he flung open the refrigerator and began to sweep almost everything into the trashcan that he had pulled forward. All he had left was butter, condiments, and his beer. Then he moved to the sink and ran hot soapy water so that the dishes could soak. Later he'd fill the dishwasher. For now, he vowed to buy paper plates and plastic eatery.

When he reached Jakob and Elaina's house, he was tempted to turn away and maybe make up some excuse like … a car accident. Of course he'd have to run the car into something. Elaina wouldn't buy anything less. But of course, they'd heard his car pull up into the circular drive and Elaina was already at the door pulling him inside and greeting him with hugs and kisses. He smiled. Elaina was a pretty fifty-something woman who appeared at least ten years younger than that. She was petite with ash blonde hair that was always perfectly coiffed. She never had one thing out of place from her perfectly painted nails to her flawless makeup.

"Hello." He kissed her cheek. "You should have let me bring something. Wine—"

"No!" She led him into the living room. "Then you would find an excuse not to come because you couldn't find the perfect wine. Don't think I don't know how you operate, Mister," she chided.