Chapter 16: Lena

I'm tucked against his side and he's cradling me, one arm wrapped underneath me, curving over my shoulder. Like lovers. I want to touch him, lift my hand to lay it on his chest. But I hesitate. I haven't been given permission. Feel like I should ask, but I don't think he'll mind.

He grasps my hand and presses it flat against his chest, his on top. "Touch me, Lena."

I hear the longing in his voice. Maybe he needs the human contact as much as I do. He always seems so strong, so in control. But I know Manuel rarely touched him, was not a demonstrative man. Luis has probably fucked plenty of women. I wasn't his bodyguard and though I share the same house, I wasn't privy to his private life before now. I can't imagine him cuddling with any of those women though.

I snuggle closer into his side, burying my nose against his ribs and running my hand from his chest down to his abs, tracing the ridges. I've seen Luis working out, seen him without a shirt before. Knew what he looked like. But touching is like a feast for my senses. He's so flat, so ripped, yet his tanned skin stretching over those muscles is so silky with a smattering of black hair from chest down to his groin. I could probably do this all day.

"You have my permission to leave the bedroom." His voice is unexpected, his words more so.

My fingers freeze in their exploration. What does this concession mean?

"Don't leave the house though."

My breath grows shallow as I absorb the idea of leaving Luis' sanctuary. I don't like it. "Can I stay?" I ask, then add, "Just a little longer." I don't want him thinking I might be a problem, might become clingy.

His arm tightens around me. "You can stay as long as you want, Lena." His voice is low and a little gruff. "Stay forever."

I grin suddenly. My reaction, the pleasure his simple words evoke, is so unlike me that I bury my face against him. I feel shy about being happy. It seems impossible that in the course of a few days I can go from utter terror and paralyzing pain to happiness. Maybe he senses my confusion. He strokes fingers through my hair and murmurs, "I'm sorry. For what I did to you."

"You said that already," I whisper.

He shifts until he's facing me. He's so much larger that his body looms over mine. "Do you forgive me?"

I can feel an automatic 'yes' leaping to my lips. My usual response. Give the men what they want and it'll hurt less. Instead, I think about it, search myself for forgiveness. There's lust, and elation at his regard, relief that he doesn't seem to want to kill me anymore. But I don't know if there's forgiveness yet. Maybe I don't know what that emotion feels like, don't know what I'm searching for.

"Will you beat me again?" I ask softly.

"Never." His answer is so swift I feel stunned by it. He touches my face, running his thumb over my eyebrows, nose, lips.

"What if I betrayed you?" I have no intention of ever betraying Luis, but I need to know how bad things can get. I begin to realize that these feelings rapidly growing between us were always there, just held at bay, maybe twisted into other emotions. Now that we're allowing them free rein, I think that things can get pretty bad if Luis ever thinks I've betrayed him.

"I would put a bullet in your head," he says matter of fact. "But never torture again."

I mull his words over. Yes, I can be satisfied with that. Cartel women can't betray the men they're with. There has to be trust with intimacy when it comes to such families. Luis' mother betrayed the code. "As long as you give me the chance to explain before you kill me."

"Of course," he reassures me, pushing himself on top of me. He takes my hands, interlaces his fingers with mine and brings my hands up over my head. "Irrelevant though, Lena. We both know you won't ever betray me."

I tilt my head, as though considering him. As though I'm not 100 percent distracted by his cock, growing rigid between my spread legs. "How can you be sure?"

"I see everything written in those pretty eyes of yours. You've wanted me from the moment you stepped foot in this house, from the moment we met. From when Manuel forbade me to touch you."

I gasp. He just confirmed what I'd always suspected.

"You were the hired help, and damn good at your job. He didn't want me making you lose focus. Although, recently I got this feeling his attitude toward us being together changed."

His comment is consistent with the way Manuel talked to me during our last sparring session. Perhaps he'd been subtly pushing me toward his son.

"He never said anything to me, didn't warn me away from you." I spread my knees, bring my legs up alongside his body and hug him to me. I rock my hips against him, grazing my pussy against his cock, nestled at the apex of my thighs.

His hands tighten on mine and I can see the fire steadily growing in his intense gaze. "Have you ever pursued a man before, Lena?" A question, but not a question. We both know the answer.

"No."

"Of course not. Anyone looking at you knows your damaged goods. You'll never be the aggressor."

I frown in annoyance. "If I'm damaged goods, then why did Manuel think I could be distracted by you?"

He gives me a boyish grin, so sudden and unexpected it steals my breath. I'm held mesmerized by the way a smile can change his entire demeanour. "I'm that hard to resist, beautiful."

"Really?" I drawl, blinking up at him, catching his eyes.

Then I twist, so fast he barely has time to register my leg twining with his until he's flat on his back with me on top, my hand at his throat, fingers curled around his windpipe.

"Knew I shouldn't have fed you the broth. You're back in fighting shape."

I grin down at him, feeling absolutely wonderful for the first time… ever. I drop my guard for a second as that thought registers. I've never felt this good. Never felt the hope that is like a constant, relentless tidal wave rushing through me. It began when Luis softened, started being nice to me. I don't have time to think about it though since Luis, the biggest alpha I know, can't let me get the better of him for long.

He uses my momentary hesitation, swiping my arm to the side, then grabbing my other wrist and jerking me down. I land face first on the bed beside him. He climbs around me, using a similar method to what I just used on him, grabs my arm and yanks me back until I'm kneeling on the bed, my back against his chest, my arm wrenched up in between us.

"You okay?" he asks, his lips against my ear sending shivers cascading down my neck. "Say the word and I'll let you go."