Chapter 18

She kissed him, unleashing everything she'd buried inside her. Everything she was ashamed of. All of the dark desires. The secret needs she'd hidden even from herself. All of it poured out of her and through her, infusing that kiss with the hot wave of her own inhibitions unbinding. For so long she'd held her life in perfect balance, keeping out of trouble and free from complications. But now she craved the danger she'd fed with her recklessness.

Royce was the one man who could upset her fine edge of discipline and send her world tumbling. She didn't care. Consequences be damned. The burning connection of their mouths consumed her until there was only this man, this glorious kiss.

A soft whisper of pain made her gasp as he fisted a hand in her hair and pulled her head back from his. Their eyes held like a key settling into a lock. Everything inside her went wondrously still. Kenzie clung to that feeling, digging her nails into his shoulders, afraid it would shatter this perfect feeling if he let go of her.

"I used to imagine closing my office door when we worked late," he said, his voice low and throaty. "I wanted to shove everything off my desk and bend you over it." His words were ragged, as though he was barely in control. He tugged a little on her hair, punctuating the words bend you over, and her channel quivered in anticipation and arousal.

Kenzie's body burned as she joined him in that fantasy, spellbound.

"I can feel it all in my head, feel how good it would be to jerk your jeans down and fuck you on my desk. You would come so hard you would scream, and the sound would ricochet off the walls." The hard lines of his perfect jaw could've been cut from stone. She was caught up in the moment, melting from the inside as his words rendered her speechless.

"Every time you looked at me from your desk, it was there in your eyes, that Fuck me Dr. Devereaux look."

Oh. My. God. He knew. Somehow he'd always known.

Kenzie's arousal had been building ever since they'd kissed in the hotel pool. But now she was on fire inside. Her thighs clamped down around his hips, and she couldn't resist rocking against him. He shifted beneath her.

"Don't test me, babe." He groaned with frustration. "I'm not good at self-control, not when we're so far away from home."

"Why's thatsir?" she asked quietly, their gazes still locked.

"Because here there's no one to remind me to be good." He pressed her closer, his hands shaking as though he was on the verge of losing all control. "I could take you over and over, here where there aren't students to see us, no faculty watching our every move. It's just us. So you'd better say red before I lose my mind and break every goddamn promise I ever made to stay away from you." The edge to his tone warned her he meant every word.

Kenzie couldn't breathe. He wanted her as much she wanted him. So much that they were both losing their minds.

She was done being good, done pretending she had to deny herself what she wanted. She bit her bottom lip, holding his attention, and then she spoke the words that would send their stars colliding.

"Fuck me, Dr. Devereaux."

Royce's eyes widened and then narrowed, his breathing turned harsh, and before she could react he lifted her off the couch. With a squeak, she wrapped her legs around his waist as he carried them over to the bed. He dropped her on the bed and stood there, towering over her. He gripped the bottom of his black sweater, pulled it over his head, and tossed it to the floor. As he unbuttoned his jeans, he paused, breathing hard as he looked at her.

Finally, she was going to get the one thing she thought she could never have. Him. Joy, pure and bright, filled her like an exploding star. Her body hummed with a building desire that was unstoppable now that she'd made up her mind that she wanted to be with him.

"You want to stop? Now is your last chance, Little Mac. It's all or nothing."

She lifted her chin, challenging him. "I want it all."

The slow, wicked grin on his lips made her stomach flutter. He lunged for her, rolling her over onto her stomach. Shocked, she gasped as he pulled her hips up, unbuttoned her jeans, and pulled them down to her knees. She wore a pair of black panties underneath, and he groaned as he gripped them in his fist and yanked. The snap of breaking elastic stung her skin, causing another wave of heat through her core. Her folds grew wet from his rough handling. He gave her ass a hard smack and she hissed, burrowing her head in the bed, swallowing down the hungry moan that almost escaped.

"Ask me," he growled. "No, beg me." She looked at him over her shoulder as excitement electrified her senses. He pulled the foil packet of a condom out of his jeans and tore it open with his teeth. She knew what he wanted to hear, and she wanted to say it too.

"Fuck me, Dr. Devereaux, show me how bad I've been."

"Jesus fucking Christ," he cursed, and jerked his jeans down. She had only an instant to see the thick length of his impressive cock jutting out before he sheathed a condom over it and then surged into her. He was too big, stretching her with the full sensation of his cock inside her. Pleasure pooled in her belly, and she arched her back with a hiss of pleasure. He wasn't gentlehe was a pounding, merciless god of sex. It felt like he was trying to kill her with overwhelming pleasure as he rammed into her over and over. His fingers dug at her hips, and she knew his hold would leave bruises, but it felt so good she didn't care.

He's marking your body. He's owning you. Just like you always wanted.

She knew she wasn't going to last another second. When the climax hit, it was like she'd fallen into a pit of firecrackers that were going off all around her. Explosions of pleasure, flashes of blinding light. She whimpered into the mattress as he leaned over her, slowing down his thrusts.

"You like that, babe?"

She nodded weakly.

He kissed the shell of her ear before he straightened and gripped her hips and began to ride her slower, making her feel each burning inch of him. Little aftershocks of pleasure still pulsed inside her channel as she clamped down on his shaft, squeezing tight.

"God, you feel like paradise. Like I died and went to heaven." His voice was low, almost guttural now.

"Royce, I can't"

"Sir," he snapped, and his hand came down on her ass cheek.

"Sir," she echoed, blood pounding in her ears.

"Do you have any idea how fucking hot you are, Little Mac? That little ass up in the air, the way you clamp down on my cockyou're so fucking tight babe, so tight it's like no man's ever been inside you before."

His thrusts began to build in speed again. "I need to hear you scream it, shout it." His commands were followed by his body ratcheting up like a jackhammer. His hips slammed against her ass over and over, and the words came out of her mouth just like he wanted.

"Fuck me, Dr. Devereaux." Over and over again, she wasn't sure how many times she shouted those words. When she came a second time, everything went dark around her.

She came back to life a few seconds later, her mind fuzzy and her body limp. Every muscle was completely drained. And he was still inside her, fucking her hard. She groaned as he shoved deep, his cock filling her again and again, and he bellowed hard enough to make the walls shake. Then she felt him pull out, his harsh breath above her as she closed her eyes, still bent over the bed. Her legs sagged into the side of the mattress, but she had no strength to move.

That strange hot fuzziness seemed to deepen, like she was buried in a dozen thick blankets before a roaring fire.

"Little Mac, you okay?" Royce's voice was soft and gentle again, and yet she couldn't find the strength to speak.

"Hold on, babe, I got you." He pulled her jeans completely off her body, and she rolled over onto her back. He stripped her of her sweater and bra, then pulled her into his arms, carrying her into the bathroom. He set her inside the massive jetted bathtub in the corner. She wrapped her arms around her body as a chill set in.

Royce leaned over the tub and turned on the taps, testing the water. She flinched as the cold water sprinkled her toes, and she tucked her knees up to her chin. He changed the taps, and the hot water crept up the tub's base toward her.

"Hang on," Royce said as he kissed her forehead and removed his briefs. She stared at his fully naked body, still lightheaded.

"Plenty of room for us both." He eased into the tub and then lifted her up and settled her on his lap. She curled into him, pressing her face into his throat, comforted by the dark piney scent that was uniquely his as the bath tub filled. She had no idea why she felt so strange, so muddled, but she could barely think, except to realize she felt safe in Royce's arms.

"You're okay, Kenzie," Royce said, one of his hands holding her back, pressing her close to him.

"Everything feels so" She couldn't find the right words. "Cloudy," she finally said.

"Yeah, I know, babe. I know." He nuzzled the crown of her hair before he spoke again. "I think I sent you into subspace."

"What's that?"

"It's where a submissive is so overcome with her experiences that she fully lets go. It's sort of a sensual state of meditation. You go deep into your own head."

"Is that bad?" Kenzie didn't like the sound of subspace. She wasn't accustomed to feeling weak. Being weak meant she was vulnerable, and she never liked that under any circumstances.

"No, it's a good thing. For you to go into subspace while you're with me, it's nirvana to me. It means you trust me. You gave me all of yourself, and that total trust and openness exhausted your body. You'll be back to normal soon, I promise." He kissed her forehead, and she looked up at him.

"But the best part about subspace is that when you're with a good Dom, he will take care of you, spoil you. It's called aftercare, and this part is all about you, babe." He reached up to shut the water off, and she noticed the water had come up to her neck, heating her whole body. Royce's hands moved over her skin, stroking each limb, petting and caressing. It wasn't sensual exactlyrather it was soothing. The burning sexual tension that had moments before sent them catapulting off the edge of control was still there, but it was softened by a layer of comfort and familiarity between them. Her body belonged to herself once again, and she felt strangely new inside it, like an out-of-body experience in reverse. But as long as he held her, she felt good; she felt safe and grounded in the moment.

"Do you have any regrets?" he asked.

"Regrets? About what we did?" She shook her head. "I should regret everything, but" But she couldn't. He'd just given her the most mind-blowing sex of her life, based on her darkest and most intimate fantasies, fantasies she now knew he shared. How could she ever regret that?

"Good. I never want you to regret anything while you're with me," he said.

She wouldn't regret any of this now, but it didn't stop her from worrying about what would happen later, when they returned to Long Island. They'd have to go back to normal, or at least pretend. She didn't know how to protect herself or him if this ever came to light. And she definitely didn't want to think about what the future held or what "together" meant for them. It was all too complicated, and right now complicated was not what she needed.

She shifted on his lap, feeling his thick shaft nudge her bottom. He was aroused again, which was understandable given they were sitting naked in a tub, but he didn't push himself on her, didn't make her do anything about his arousal. He was simply content to hold her in his arms and let the hot water soak into their skin.

She couldn't help it. It was so relaxing that she began to drift off to sleep, clinging to him like her life depended on it.

Because in a way, it did.