Chapter 20

There were cliffs there,

And forests made of mists. There were bridges spanning the void, and that great gray blind lake which hung above its distant bottom

Like the sky on a rainy day above a landscape.

Rainer Maria Rilke

The mist rolled through the coast of Cornwall like a silent wave, blanketing everything with dampness and chill. For the first time in a long while, Mikhail felt cold. A dragon's blood runs hot, even in the deepest of Russian winters. But today he felt a bone-numbing ache and cold. It seemed to cut deep, freezing the edges of his very soul.

Belishaw's call had been a grim reminder of reality. He'd lived so long outside of the world that he'd lost track of the rules, forgotten about things like consequences. He'd involved Piper, and now her life was crumbling around her. He could see how much it might cost her, and it wounded him as much as it had terrified her. The last thing he ever wanted was to hurt his future mate.

I never think things through. Not five hundred years ago and not now. His father had made a grave mistake choosing him to oversee the transport of the jewels from England. The treaty with the Belishaw dragons had been crucial; if his family ever needed to fight the Drakors back in Moscow, they would need as much support as they could get. While the treaty itself still held fast, the shame of losing the jewels had weakened the Barinov reputation. It was why, even now, he could not go home to Russia, not until he'd seen his mission through and brought the treasure back with him.

Mikhail let the icy wind cut through him, but the punishment would never be enough for his sins. Sometimes when the wind, fog, and rain built around the coast like this, he felt his dragon stir with madness, a sense of unfathomable grief that couldn't be contained.

It wasn't the first time the past had come back at him, dragging old memories into the light. His dragon became too strong then and took over their shared body. He closed his eyes, remembering nights long past, even though he wished he could erase those memories forever.

The dungeon had been cold and damp, the smell of smoke from the torches of the guards thick and cloying. He lay there in the corner of his cell, his food always drugged and leaving him weakened. It had been midday, but there was no light here, not in the dungeons.

"Bring me a light." Elizabeth's voice had cut through the heavy darkness, and he'd stirred.

"My queen?" he croaked, hopefully. He'd spent the last two years hoping for this, or was it longer? But his cries had gone unanswered. Had she finally come to free him from this place?

Fire blazed suddenly past the iron bars, and he could see Elizabeth. She was wearing a gold-and-cream gown, pearls studded her sleeves and bodice, and a white ruffle was laced around her creamy neck. Her red hair was bound up in a fashion suitable for court, and her hand gleamed with jeweled rings.

"My dear, sweet Mikhail," she said with a tragic tone. "I am so sorry. I've learned the truth, but I fear it is too late. I can't fix what is broken, my love, but I can ensure there is some measure of justice."

"What do you mean?" asked Mikhail. "Are you here to free me?"

Elizabeth looked away. "I wish things were that simple, but they are not." She studied one of the rings on her fingers. His ring. The one that had a serpent biting its own tail. An emerald stone was set in the snake's eye. That ring had never belonged to her family. His father had given him that ring on his two hundredth birthday.

"Myring, that is mine. A gift from my father," he whispered and stumbled to his feet. He collapsed against the bars, relying on their strength to hold him up. Whatever his jailers had put in his food had been doubled in its dosage, no doubt because they'd been warned that this meeting would take place.

"It is. And I am afraid I must keep it, as I must keep you. Though not like this. Not for much longer."

"I don't understand," said Mikhail.

"I have been used, manipulated most cruelly by one who saw you as a threat to his own plans. He taught my most trusted advisor just enough about your people to distrust them, and he learned just enough on his own to know how to weaken them. It is because of him that you now rot here."

Mikhail found some strength in his bones and shook the bars. "Then free me. Free me, and I will destroy him."

Elizabeth's eyes hardened. "No. I will destroy him. Slowly. In the way I had at first devised for you. You do not realize the depths of this man's treason. It goes far beyond driving a wedge between us. He wanted to use me, to rule this kingdom, and drive away all opposition, starting with your friends, the Belishaws."

Mikhail's eyes widened upon hearing the name.

"In a way, I must thank you," Elizabeth continued. "It was because you sought to woo me that this man was forced to change his plans and turn his eye toward you. Because of that, I became suspicious of him later when he sent whispers my way about the Belishaws and how he felt they should be dealt with.

"That was when I learned the truth, all of it, both about your people and the evil schemes laid against me. Despite his words of praise and flattery, I believe he always felt I was a weak and feeble woman. He knows now that this is not the case."

Mikhail tried to smile, tried to hold on to some hope. "Then you know my feelings for you were true. That you are my true mate."

Elizabeth looked away but nodded. "I do. And I feel the same for you. But not even love can be greater than the needs of a country and its people. If your family were to learn of what I did to you" She played with his father's ring on her finger. "If I killed you, they would have no reason not to declare open war upon me. But as a hostage, their hand is stayed."

"My queen, please," he begged as he never had before. "It does not have to be this way. Set me free. I"

"And have you burn London to the ground?" She shook her head. "Or return to your family to plan revenge? I know what you are, Mikhail, what you can do. And as much as I wish I could believe you, trust you, my own betrayals have doomed me to this path. It is far too dangerous to let you out. You will remain here, but your comfort will be looked to. You have my word. I only wish I could do more for you. Goodbye, my love." She turned away and left him in the dark.

"Elizabeth!" He roared her name, and the walls of the prison rumbled, but he couldn't get past the iron bars. Iron, the one metal his people held no power over. Combined with the elixir they always mixed with his food, he was as close to mortal as he might ever be.

She was true to her word. He remained imprisoned but was moved to better quarters, with a comfortable bed, a library, and whatever he asked for, within reason. The elixir dosage was reduced, for the walls, floor, and ceiling were all reinforced with iron.

Of the man behind his woes, he never learned his name and never clearly saw his face. They met only once, as he was being moved to his improved accommodations in a different part of the castle. It seemed the villain was to take his place chained and shackled in the darkness, bound by iron, forever.

Elizabeth never came to see him again, nor wrote to him, but whatever he asked for, short of his freedom, the staff did their best to provide. In time he came to understand the impossible position she had been put in, and he felt only pity for her. When it came to personal matters, it seemed the most powerful person in England had absolutely no power at all.

Forty-four years later, he'd heard the church bells tolling. The virgin queen had died. His dragon had keened inside his head, mourning the woman who could have been its mate. The pain had been strong enough that he'd felt his life hanging by a thread. Would the mate-grief kill him as it would a fully mated dragon? Or would he lie there suffering in the darkness on the edge of death?

An hour after the bells had stopped ringing, a man had come into the dungeons and set him free, handing him a handkerchief with the queen's emblem embroidered in red and gold. Mikhail had taken the small bit of cloth and unfolded it. There tucked safely at the handkerchief's center was his serpent ring.

"It was her last wish to give you this and your freedom. She also had a message she wished to pass on to you."

Mikhail put the ring on his finger and folded the cloth back up. "What did she say?"

"She said she knows she will see you soon and hopes you can forgive her when you do." The man left. Mikhail wandered from the prison, which had almost felt like a home at times, feeling even weaker than before.

So Elizabeth had known about the mate-grief. That was why she had released him. She believed he would soon die, but she'd wished for him to die with his freedom. It was her last gift. The only gift left she had the power to give.

He had watched from the shore as Elizabeth's coffin was carried downriver to Whitehall. The barge was lit by torches, the fiery glow the only source of light on such a black night.

Even then, broken and defeated as he was, his heart grieved the loss of his once-intended mate. For a dragon's heart is the strongest thing about him. His love and his loyalty could last centuries, even beyond death. Only the fact that they had not fully bonded saved him now, though in the centuries to come he would question whether or not that was a blessing.

He watched the barge vanish out of sight and twisted the ouroboros ring on his finger, then turned his back on his once-beloved Gloriana.

I can forgive you, my love, but I will not join you.