Chapter 14

"So where you all headed?" Glenn asked as he opened some beers that had been cooling outside.

"South," Lincoln replied. Caroline frowned at him and clarified.

"Joplin. I'm trying to see if my family is still alive. They were there when I last spoke to them. I was supposed to be there for Christmas." Her throat tightened as she thought of them, wondering if any of them were still alive.

Glenn and Joanie exchanged a worried glance.

"What is it?" Lincoln asked.

"But that's so far south," said Glenn. "The roads are dangerous. What if your family is gone? Maybe you should stay with us. We'd be safer in numbers. Got a decent setup here in the store. It keeps the bad weather out, and there's plenty of supplies."

"For now." Lincoln set his clean plate down on the ground and rested his forearms on his knees. He looked so rugged, and a little scary. "You'll run out of food soon. There aren't likely to be any more places nearby that haven't been heavily raided. You'd be wise to move south until you can get to warmer weather to start farming and irrigation."

"I'm a hunter, not a farmer," Glenn replied.

"Hunting alone won't cut it. The only people who will survive the next year are those who adapt." Lincoln stood and looked at Caroline. "We'd better go. We have more stops to make." He focused on their host again. "Thank you for the food and rest."

"Yeah, of course." Glenn offered a hand, and Lincoln shook it.

Caroline didn't want to leave, but she had to stay with Lincoln. She stood and hugged Joanie and shook Glenn's hand. She wrote down her parents' address in Joplin and gave it to them.

"If you can, join us in Joplin," she said and hugged Joanie a second time.

She didn't want to leaveit felt wrong to walk away from them like this. She wanted to be with other people. It was important to remind the other survivors that they were all in this together. People were not the enemy, the virus was, and those of humanity still left were possibly immune, the lucky few who had a duty not only to survive, but to rebuild their world.

The one thing humans had that set them apart from other animals was the ability to build communities, to delegate responsibilities, and share in the work of not just getting by but developing and thriving. Caroline knew that if she could just get enough people together where they could work alongside one another, it could be a new beginning. That was why walking away from Glenn and Joanie made her heart ache.

"Goodbye, hon." Joanie squeezed her hand. "Take care with that one," her new friend said with a wink. "He still has that untamed look about him."

Caroline nodded, her eyes burning with tears. It was crazy. She had known them only a few hours, but already it felt like she was abandoning lifelong friends. Glenn helped them load the rest of their supplies in the SUV before they waved goodbye and left the strip mall.

"I didn't want to leave," she said.

"I know, but the more time we waste, the more we risk not finding your family. We can't operate off the assumption that all survivors are immune. There could be pockets of people who have escaped exposure, and if that's the casewe need to find them and assure their survival," Lincoln said, keeping his eyes on the road. She didn't miss the way he'd stressed the word if. He didn't believe they were still alive. His lack of faith shouldn't have hurtit was pragmatic, logical. But it did hurt. It left a burning ache inside her that only seemed to grow as they put miles on the road. At his heart he was still a cynic, believing the worst in things, even now.

She hoped it hadn't been a mistake to trust Lincoln.

***

Lincoln knew he was a fucking asshole. He could see how much Caroline was hurting inside. But they couldn't stay. Glenn and Joanie were facing hard times, harder if they didn't move south like he said. Everyone had their own choices to make.

And my choice is protecting her at all cost.

The house they'd been staying at deep in the neighborhood was much safer than a strip mall. After he had talked with Glenn, Lincoln had realized that the other man was afraid to leave the store. He'd made a good little space for himself and his wife, but he didn't want to leave it. Glenn didn't understand that the lights weren't coming back on, and the world wasn't going to come back to the way it had been. Not for a long time. Maybe not ever.

We're in the wilderness now. If a man couldn't face that, he wouldn't survive.

"Do youdo you really know how to farm?" she asked, sniffing a little.

Lincoln refused to look at Caroline. Crying women set his teeth on edge, and if she was crying, he'd really be fucking pissed knowing he had caused it.

"I have had some training. I worked on a ranch as a teen."

"North Carolina?" She perked up at this. Her eyes were red-rimmed from tears, but she wiped the tears away. It was a punch to his gut see the evidence of the pain his decision had caused. So he kept talking. She seemed to like to hear him talk about himself. He wasn't used to that, but if that's what she wanted, he'd talk until he lost his voice.

"I worked summers at old man Peterson's ranch. He lived on the outskirts of the city. He knew my father and offered me a job baling hay and breaking in geldings." It had been hard work, but he'd loved it all, from the blisters and exhaustion to the feel of a horse coming to trust him so that they became one unit. He'd grown into a man on that ranch.

"I worked at the vet clinic one summer," Caroline said, but her tone was tinged with sorrow.

"You didn't like it?" He was surprised. She was so sweet and caring; the animals had to have loved her.

She shook her head. "I wanted to be a vet. I love animals. But I figured out after just a few weeks that I couldn't handle it." She studied her hands in her lap, and he refocused his attention on the highway, careful to dodge any abandoned cars. Fortunately, most were on the shoulders of the road.

"What couldn't you handle?"

She didn't answer at first. "The dying. The suffering. Seeing the pain of a dog as it struggled for breath. It" She swallowed. "I used to cry every night after work. I wasn't strong enough. I'm not strong enough now."

Lincoln pulled the car over to the side of the road, more out of habit than anything. He could have just stopped in the middle of the road. He leaned over and cupped her chin.

"Look at me," he commanded, but he kept his tone gentle.

She raised her gaze to his, and he sucked in a breath. Fuck, she was so damn beautiful, and she didn't have a clue what she did to him. Her dark hair hung loose around her shoulders, and he wanted to fist his hands in it and drag her to him.

"Strength isn't the absence of pain or fear. It's about facing it head-on and staying alive. You're strong, Caroline."

Tears glistened in her eyes, and he couldn't stop himself.

"Fuck it." He pulled her close and slanted his mouth down over hers. She tasted sweet, and her lips were so soft. He parted her mouth with his tongue and fisted a hand in her hair as he stroked her tongue with his. Kissing her was like touching a live wire. It was a violent shock to his system that made his ears ring and his blood roar through his veins. He could've kissed her for days, but he had to stop.

He pulled back, all too satisfied with the dazed expression on her face. He brushed the pad of his thumb over her lips. "Anyone still alive in this fucked-up world is strong. You got me?"

"Yeah." She reached up and touched her lips. A blush stained her cheeks.

"We'll meet people the more we travel, and they won't all be nice like Glenn and Joanie. You have to be prepared, okay? We can't save everyone, and we can't be friends with everyone. Just be prepared."

"I am prepared. I've seen the best and the worst of what we can be in the last few months." She paused for a moment and licked her lips nervously. "We are a team, aren't we?" she asked, worry in her eyes. "You won't abandon me if I don't fit your plans?"

"No," he promised. She was his plan. Nothing else in this world made sense anymore except being with her, protecting her. He started driving again. Neither of them spoke until they reached the familiar place they'd been secretly calling home the last few days. It seemed abandoned, and it was far enough from anywhere that it might be untouched.

"Remember to pack everything of value. We'll load it and the chickens in the car tomorrow and leave at first light."

They entered the house, him first and her behind. But it took only a second to realize that they had made a mistake. The creak of floorboards, the rustle of cloth, the click of a trigger being pulled

"Run!" he bellowed to Caroline, shoving her back into the yard.

Pain exploded in his shoulder, and he stumbled back, smacking the doorjamb. Caroline screamed, and he struggled not to fall. If he fell, he might not have the strength to get back up.

"Lincoln!" Caroline screamed. He looked deeper into the house as three men approached him, all dressed in military gear, armed to the teeth.

Fuck. How had he been so stupid? He should have left her in the car and checked the place himself first. Shit, shit, shit

"Caro" He growled her name and tried to look over his shoulder, but one of the men grabbed him and swung his fist right into Lincoln's face.