Chapter 15

"But I don't know the first thing about kissing." Until now, she'd just enjoyed the rush of sensations he thrust upon her, contributing nothing, only taking. But it was improper to talk so openly of physical intimacy.

Godric just smiled, a gentle twist at the corners of his mouth. "With enough practice you'll learn. A few minutes with me as a tutor and you will be a master." His grip tightened, as though their talk had excited him.

"One kiss? You won't demand anything more of me?"

"One kiss, but you won't get away with a saintly peck on the cheek, Emily. I demand a real kiss."

"Demand?"

"Request," he amended.

"Request or you'll deny me my book? Still sounds like a demand."

"God's blood, woman, you are trying my patience." He seemed to be suppressing a smile.

Could she accept a devil's bargain? Godric's kisses robbed her of rationality. But if she didn't prove she could best him, even at a kiss, then he would win. But this question transcended a game. Kissing him was a dare she wanted to accept. Part of her yearned to show him she was a woman who desired him and that she could kiss as good as any woman he'd been with before.

Heart waltzing in her chest, she spoke: "I agree then. One kiss." She felt compelled to offer her hand to shake on the deal but she knew he'd only laugh, so she refrained.

Emily took the book and set it aside. Godric rested his palms on the tops of his muscular thighs. He ceded control to her, allowed her to take action. For some reason this both comforted and aroused her, and she found the courage to reach up and take his face in her hands.

The ghost of a beard that shadowed the line of his jaw was rough beneath her palms. Her skin tingled and her breath quickened. His eyes fixed on hers, lacing a spell around her with their magic. He was too far away, and she needed him closer. Her fingertips slid back to curl around either side of his neck so she could pull his mouth down to hers. He dipped his head, the tendons of his neck taut beneath her hands, vibrating with tension, energy, all focused through one single placehis mouth.

Just before they kissed, his warm breath danced over her lips, mixing with her own. The intimacy of that instant seared her inside. No wonder women were compromised so often, it was impossible to resist something like this. The excited breaths, that delicious moment rightbeforea kiss.

Godric's lips met hers in a soft yielding blossom of tender heat. He didn't respond right away, but let her explore his mouth without resistance. She grew bolder, wanting more from him than she really understood. She mimicked some motions he had used on her. Her tongue teased his lips, enticing him to open his mouth to her, and when at last he did, a thrill of triumph struck deep in her belly.

She gave into the pure physical senses. That masculine aroma of sandalwood and spice, uniquely his, imprinted itself in her. Emily's heartbeat doubled as his tongue finally danced back with hers, but he did not invade her as he'd done by the lake. It seemed he meant to keep his promise that she was to kiss him.

She moved her fingers into the roots of his hair at the nape of his neck, ruffling the dark glossy hair, enjoying the breathlessness that it stirred in Godric as his mouth mated with hers. He shivered beneath her touch and excitement flowed through her to discover she'd found a weakness in him.

Ashton's stories about Godric's abuse at his father's hands added tenderness to her kiss that she hadn't expected. Leaning into him, she raised herself up, pressing her chest against his, wrapping her arms tight about his shoulders to hold him. She spoke without words, telling him she wished she could erase the darkest of his memories.

When Emily's kiss changed, it shook Godric to his core. He felt something beyond curiosity and innocence. A storm of emotions flowed from hertenderness, protectiveness, ferocity, but also another emotion, one that ran deeper than the seas.

Something impossibly wonderful was born between them in that breathless kiss, and it terrified him. His heart thudded painfully as her fingertips caressed his neck again. His body tensed with desire, but her lips stilled him.

She tempered his impulse to take her with primal violence with a mere swirl of her tongue and her body pressed against his in a way that meant to comfort and not entice. Somehow, his hands wound around her, fingers digging into her lower back to urge her closer. How could a kiss soothe and excite all at the same time? That had never happened before in his life, and it scared him. He had to free himself of Emily, had to sever the invisible gossamer strands that connected his heart to hers. He couldn't do this, couldn't fall for her. It was wrong. They were wrong for each other.

He reached up, disentangling her hands from his neck, and pulled his lips out of reach. Emily's eyes fluttered open, as startled as a butterfly caught by a sudden breeze.

He wanted to apologize, but words were beyond him. He'd been struck speechless. That kiss was more dangerous than she could possibly know. It had cut him open, exposed his soul. If she ever kissed him like that again, he'd be lost

"Godric?" Worry tainted Emily's beautiful face.

Something had to be done before he lost himself in the storm that brewed in her violet eyes. Before he sought to calm it and return to the comfort.

"I'm sorry. I should not have asked a child to kiss me." He stood and turned his back on her, leaving her alone in the room with her book.

***

A child? Godric's words had wounded her, a clawing pain in the center of her soul. Tears sprang to her eyes and she buried her face in her hands, burning with shame.

She looked up to the sound of soft-booted footsteps across the carpet.

Ashton stood at the doorway, eyes dark as sapphires. He came to her without a word. Silent sobs wracked her body as Ashton held her close to his chest.

How could Godric just walk away? He thought she was a child still? After everything? She was a woman, with a woman's heart and woman's pride and she was trying to learnshe wanted to learn everything from himbut he'd scorned the first true kiss she'd ever given anyone. The agony in her heart was so great she felt sure it had shattered into a thousand glittering pieces.

Emily cursed her foolishness, her belief that she could be desired by a man like Godric. She was the last woman on earth someone like him would ever love.

Love Did she want his love?

Did she love him? When had her anger and frustration with him changed into something deeper and softer? Lord help her, she couldn't love him.

But surely only love could cause pain like this.

Ashton wasn't sure what transpired between his friend and Emily, but her tears moved him more than anything had in years.

Since Emily had come into their lives, parts he had thought long dead were reawakening. The urge to protect was the strongest now, to punish the source of her tears, even if it was Godric who paid the price. They had all vowed to ensure her well-being and that, in his eyes, included this.

Despite her tender years, Emily was a strong woman, and until now he hadn't seen her cry. Godric must have done something terrible to leave her so inconsolable.

"Hush now, my dear, shh." She quieted at his words. "There, now. Can you tell me what happened?" Ashton cupped her chin and lifted her face up towards his.

"I don't know if I can say" Her cheeks warmed with a soft peach blush.

"Please, Emily. I don't want to see you hurt again, so I must know what to protect you from."

Emily drew in a slow shuddering breath. "I asked Godric if I could read a book. He said that if I wanted to, I would have to kiss him as payment."

Rising fury darkened Ashton's heart.

"But I'm not very good at it, and he said he'd teach me."

Ashton's animosity grew.

"Did hedid he force you? Did he get rough with you?" he asked, a dangerous edge to his words.

Emily shook her head.

"Then why are you crying?"

"It was what he said to me afterwards He said he shouldn't have asked a child to kiss him. A child!" She buried her face in his chest again.

Ashton was confused. He couldn't understand what had gone wrong. What could lead Godric to say such an odd thing? Women were always natural kissers and caught on quickly. It was men who needed practice to master the art.

There was no reason for Godric to have said such a cruel thing, not when she'd done as he'd asked. "Emily, look at me, dear."

She did.

"What did you do when you kissed him? Can you tell me?" Perhaps he might learn what had bothered his friend.

"I just kissed him. I thought about what you had told me about him, about his childhood and his father, and I kissed him. Did I do it wrong?"

The shadows underneath Ashton's eyes lightened a little. "I'm sure you did not."

"Then why?"

Ashton put a finger to her lips. "I believe you have done something to Godric that no one has done before. It scared him. He needs time to sort his feelings out. Can you be patient with him?"

"But what did I do?"

"You really don't know, my dear?"

Emily shook her head.

"You kissed him from the depths of your heart."

Her brows drew together as she considered his answer. "Isn't that how everyone is supposed to kiss?"

It pained him to realize that she was as sweet and innocent as she appeared. No man under this roof was worthy of such a heart as hers. Ashton held her hands together, kissing them softly before he spoke.

"If everyone kissed as you do, men would never leave their lovers to go to war, fathers would never beat their children and wives would never worry about unfaithful husbands because there would be none. More of us should kiss with our hearts. No matter what Godric said, remember this. What you've shown in your kiss is priceless."

And Emily had reminded Ashton that he'd once wanted something more from life. He silently thanked her for this epiphany by kissing her forehead. He helped her up and escorted her out of Godric's study and back to her room.

"I have a matter to settle with Godric. May I ask you to stay here unguarded until tomorrow? Charles has wagered twice our previous amount that you'll escape before dawn, and I would very much like to see him lose."

It wasn't the first time her escape attempts had been compared to sport, but how Ashton said it made Emily laugh. "In fact we were discussing giving you a ten minute head start tomorrow," he added.

"You are?"

"Oh yes. On foot, of course. Then we'll use horses and hounds to chase you."

"You cannot be serious."

Ashton grinned. "Of course not. But it made you laugh. Now, will you give me your word of honor as the daughter of a gentleman not to try and escape until tomorrow?"

Emily nodded, weary from the emotional onslaught she'd suffered but warmed by Ashton's odd humor. "On my father's honor."

"Thank you." He stroked her hair and pressed his lips to her forehead before he left her alone. He paused at the door, watching her as she fell back onto her bed and lay still, counting her breaths.

"I must always kiss from the depths of my heart" she murmured to herself after he'd gone.