Lucifer, my friend (3)

Lucifer wasn't what Aaron thought he would be. For starts, he was less terrifying. He had never seen him display any power or intimidation tactic. He hadn't killed anyone, though that didn't mean that Aaron didn't notice how powerful he was. You could almost feel the power emanating into the air just by being close to him. When he got annoyed, it was a little hard to breathe but Aaron knew that he did it unconsciously. Lucifer was more like a regular CEO, often complaining about how stupid his employees were.

"But didn't you create them or something?"

"Just the first ones and they're smarter." This time Lucifer was on top of his shelf, reading one of his books while Aaron tried to sleep. It was weird to think about how quickly their 'friendship' had developed.

"Um… the first ones?"

He glanced at him and tilted his head. "You're repeating my answers again, Aaron."

"Sorry, I mean, how even demons are born? Because based on what you told me I can infer that there are a lot of them." Lucifer closed the book and placed the object on his lap, moving the palm of his hand under his chin. He looked as if he were in deep thought. "Is something I'm not supposed to know?"

"Not necessarily." Aaron sat on his bed and watched Lucifer in expectation, but he didn't continue.

"Um, Luci-"

Lucifer smiled, but there was something weird in his expression. "Storytime then, 'ron."

Aaron swallowed his retort at the nickname; instead, he focused on what Lucifer would say. He felt his curiosity prickle for the first time in months when he started talking. Lucifer's voice was a smooth low rumble, almost hypnotic when he wanted to get a point across, engrossing him even more into paying attention. He had also a manner of speaking that made you able to picture clearly everything he said. That probably was why he felt even sicker when he started explaining how demons were truly born, how the human soul decayed to that level.

Aaron knew that Lucifer wasn't lying or just telling him that to terrify him about what would happen in ten years, because when his chest felt too tight and the urge to throw up grew to uncomfortable levels, he stopped talking, waiting for Aaron to take a deep breath before asking, "Want me to continue?"

Lucifer left after he finished telling him how time and torture worked in Hell, saying that he had to reschedule some things. Aaron thought that he probably wanted to give him some space, but he pushed that thought aside, concentrating instead in not biting the inside of his cheek with too much force. The thought about how even if he hadn't sold his soul he was designated to Hell, like all the other suicidals, didn't help him to relax either.

He just lay on the bed in a fetal position, tucking his hands between his tights, trying to not glance at the pencil in front of him that he managed to hide inside his book from his group session. He had just wanted to write some stuff down and took it, not realizing how easy would be to press it against his skin. Though, this time he didn't want to kill himself, he just needed some proof that he was alive and the pain usually helped.

He moved far away, curling into a ball in the corner with his back touching the wall.

Lucifer appeared an hour after he left and sat next to him with the same book he was previously reading on his lap; the lack of light didn't seem to bother him. He sighed in relief because with Lucifer's body seating in that position, he wasn't able to see the pencil. Aaron was also glad for the company, too. So, not looking away from Lucifer's face, he moved closer to his cold body; the only indication that he was scared was the shallow breaths of his labored respiration.

Lucifer didn't do anything when his face brushed the soft material of his suit, nor when he buried his nose against it. He just kept reading in silence, too quickly for a normal human to follow. Aaron closed his eyes with the sound of turning pages as a lullaby and the power Lucifer emanated as a blanked, afraid that this comfort was a dream and that he would need to wake up soon.

He thought that the cool hand he felt brushing on his hair while he drifted into sleep was just part of his imagination too.

- -

It was in the seventh month of his hospitalization (almost three months after Jose' death) that his doctor told him that he was going to change his meds. It scared him so much when it happened, because he only took antidepressants and sometimes the sleeping pills, only taking the second ones the first month and, after that, just when his doctor told him to. The dose of the antidepressants was reduced after the second month, though they increased the dose a bit weeks after Jose's death. It was obvious that the doctor tried to be gentle about the subject and that was what scared him even more.

He had tried to act normal. He had done what everyone in his sane mind would do. The entire time. Was his act that easy to look through?

Aaron looked down and ran both hands through his hair, leaning both elbows on his knees. He took a shaky breath before glancing at the doctor, remembering that he needed to keep his act together for a little more time. He shouldn't be scowling at himself; he was losing it in front of the most important man—the one that held his freedom.

"If I'm allowed to ask, Dr. Simigh. Why are you increasing my, um…" Aaron deflated as he talked, even with all the practice he got from his session group, it was still hard to talk. And it was worse when the conversation drained him emotionally.

"Aaron." He felt a gentle touch on the hand that wasn't supporting his head's weight. The smile he found on his doctor when he glanced at him was supposed to be comforting, but Aaron could see the condescending hint in his eyes too. He tried to return the smile, instead of snarling like he wanted to. "You've been sleeping four hours per day, that's why I'm reestablishing your sleeping pills again. It's important for you to sleep."

"And the anti-psychotics?"

"It's for prevention mostly." He took his hand away. "I know you want to return with your family after your trial period here, and I've seen how much you've progressed from your first weeks. It's just a mild dose."

Aaron pursed his lips. He wasn't going to cry.

"Have you," he started. "Have you told Will and Karen about this?"

"Not yet," he said and looked to the small notebook with his notes. "I'm going to give you generic pills. I just want to confirm something, but it may be just your restlessness causing it, Aaron."

"But you will?" Aaron pleaded, his tone made the doctor look at him.

"I have to. You need to stay here until I see that it's working."

He then gave him his pills and he was relieved by how tired they left him almost immediately because he didn't like to think about what he would have done if he had the energy to do anything. His mind was too weary to even think as he walked towards his bed.

- -

"I swear that demons can be really stupid, sometimes I just want to snap my fingers and get everything over," Lucifer said immediately after appearing on the chair next to his bed. "Or feed them to my hellhounds."

"Your hellhounds?" Aaron yawned, rubbing his eyes and feeling a little more confused than usual. He stretched his arms and a hand touched accidentally Lucifer's thigh. Aaron looked up at him.

"What's wrong with you?" he asked when Aaron tried to stand up but his head was way too heavy to even try to move it.

"Sleeping pills. They make me dizzy."

"Yes, I can see that, but why are you taking them?" Aaron moved the arm that currently shielded his eyes towards the back of his head. But he heard that the curiosity in Lucifer was honest.

"Um, because I need to sleep?" He almost facepalmed at the stupid answer he gave, Lucifer's face was clearly saying 'No shit, Sherlock'. He blamed the pills. "I mean, a person needs to sleep because it can affect negatively the brain if they don't do it, ugh, eight hours is the correct time that one needs to-"

"I know what the human body needs, Aaron. I was asking why you are taking them." At Aaron's dumbfounded expression, he sighed and continued. "You're already used to sleep little; your body is used to four, five hours."

Aaron slowly turned and blinked owlishly at him, he probably was giving Lucifer some weird look, as if he just had told Aaron the meaning of life or something of the same degree because his friend had that sparkle of amusement in his eyes that he often saw when he had done something Lucifer considered funny.

Wait. Had he just called Lucifer, the Devil, his friend? Aaron tried to remember what he had thought a second ago and snorted when he realized that yes, he had done that. And again, he blamed the pills.

"Do I want to ask why are you making that weird sound?"

"You're Satan. And my friend." Aaron managed to answer as he sat on the bed, laughing at his odd situation. The laugh grew even more when he saw the surprised expression Lucifer had, and before he knew it, he was giggling. His mind always felt light the first moments he woke after taking sleep pills but never like this. He didn't know if it was because of the other pills or just Lucifer but even so, it had passed more than a year without him laughing, and he kind of missed to do it.

He looked upwards, his laugh dying quietly in his throat when he felt cold fingers brushing his jaw as he noticed that Lucifer's face was mere inches away from his own. If Aaron hadn't moved away, it was mostly because his brain still couldn't process things too fast. He blinked and tried to swallow his nervousness but his mouth felt suddenly too dry. Aaron remembered for a second the first time he saw him, the power that his eyes possessed hadn't diminished at all, it still had the ability to pin him down.

Lucifer's eyes had that silver flash that he sometimes could still see when the sunlight hit Lucifer's body, a peculiar spark that Aaron had always found strange to see in the devil. He always tried to ignore how it made Lucifer's usual icy blue eyes glow, all his demeanor change as if he were an angel. It was harder to ignore it while being at this distance.

Aaron's eyes flicked unconsciously between his eyes and lips, feeling a soft blush creeping into his cheeks when he noticed what he had done. He didn't seem to mind, not even when Aaron's mouth parted when Lucifer tilted his head.

"What a peculiar thing you are," he said, eyebrows slightly furrowing. Aaron felt his face almost on fire by the time he smirked and slowly backed off.

"I'm hungry." Aaron blurted and stood up too quickly, almost stumbling on his feet, but Lucifer managed to catch him from his arm. Aaron shivered at the contact of Lucifer's cool skin. He didn't turn to look at him and kept walking, ignoring the strange looks he got in the hall and how fast his chest pounded.