Chapter Eighteen•Starboy

He is known as one of the Football Players, Basketball Players, he was athletic, wasn't really popular, but well known for his partying. Now Blake Remington seemed like your typical high school jock in a movie, he even had standards

He prefer girls who didn't wear boy clothes unless they were his, long wavy curls, slim toned body, good posture, fruit-scented perfume, heels, flats or sandals, but only if they're worn with a fresh pedicure. I met him in Junior High School Wrestling, then when he got to the High School, he quit Wrestling to go out for the Basketball team, he told me that after he got into JV Team, he didn't like it one bit, but he still went to practice and wanted to progress more than he was expected to since his father made Varsity in his Freshman year and he didn't. We've talked more than Bryson and I ; The problem with him is that he thinks that every girl wanted to sleep with him, well he's not wrong, but the thing is he plays with these girls' self esteem like they're a bunch of legos, he breaks them down one by one. He does fuck a lot of girls, but that didn't mean he cares about them. Now I know what you're thinking: Why the hell is he so important for you to tell this part od your story? We'll be going back right to the beginning and maybe you'll get the idea.

It was 2014, the first day of Wrestling Practice, I never talked to any of the boys unless it was them getting my name wrong. After we got done with practice for the day, we went to do one last workout, before Blake was the way that he is now, he was actually a really cool guy. He was the first to make conversation with me, well in a way, he tapped on my shoulder and did a thumbs up because we were on the same team, I didn't exactly know then because I only had my mind on winning the relay race, not exactly concentrating who was on my team. Throughout the season, the boys argued on whoever got me on their team because of my speed, it was a good thing because they thought of me as one of the guys, I even seemed to think of Blake as one of the guys, except Bryson and the thing was that they were friends and I didn't know that. One day when I was just listening to music because I never really talked to anyone after school, I just sit there and then, Blake and Bryson just came up to me, bothering the hell out of me, I thought they were bullying me then and here they were only thinking why was I alone every single day, one of them even bonked my head and it was annoying, believe me. I took out my headphones,"What?!"

"Why are you always alone?"

"I just am, now leave me" My answer to them and I think to this day, they don't even remember my answer, but I did somehow. As time went on, Track Season started and the first day, I saw Blake again and of course, our chemistry was definitely not goals, we sorta despised each other, like we had to tolerate each other, we just started doing our own thing, leaving each other alone.

Towards the end of the school year, there was this dance where they finally allowed 6th Graders which I was very excited about since the entire year, they only allowed 7th and 8th Graders, at that time Camille told me a thing or two about Blake and Bryson, I didn't care about Blake then, but she told me that she had a massive crush on him, all I kept thinking was that he looked like someone that was familiar then, I just couldn't put my finger on it. Track season ended and I got ready for the big night….well for me anyway, I didn't dress up that fancy, all I did was put my hair in a pony tail, put on a flannel with a t-shirt underneath and capris pants that I modified myself. The dance was really great until depression started taking over when slow music started playing and it was a reminder that I didn't have a date, not even Bryson, when I went to the bathroom, Blake asked if I was okay,"Yeah, yeah I just need to see if I have something in my eye"

"Okay" He walked away, he wasn't that dressed either, he just wore a red and grey shirt with basketball shorts that had had weird designs, eventually him and I started talking online, well I was talking to him more than he was. One of my closest friends then, Naomi said that she liked him too and I was slowly developing feelings for him, but it wasn't as much; Naomi and I texted each other saying that maybe we should tell him that both of us like him, of course he said to both of us that he wants to be friends with us, I wasn't really heartbroken about it since we only tolerated each other. 

Then 7th Grade came around, I was looking forward to Wrestling Season because for me, it was like prepping for Track, my feelings for Bryson were stronger as you were able to tell in my chapter about him. I discovered that Blake was dating a girl in his grade, her name was Kayla and she signed up for Wrestling, there was a 6th Grader, her name was Amanda, so finally I got to be in a group of girls where we were comfortable with each other. We practiced with each other every single day, during warmups, Kayla would be with Blake, so it would only be Amanda and I. Blake and I didn't really talk that much again, not since he started dating her, Bryson's temper got worse than the year before, he slowly started beating someone younger than him, he quit the team after he got mad twice, I don't think it was the same after he left, but I still kept going. We went to a Meet and I took pictures for memories, this kid Mychael got injured, so he went for Moral Support and it was pretty fun to have him around and after the meet, it was 3 hours to get back, I wasn't complaining much, it was about as close as I could staying out past curfew, the boys started gathering around Blake and Kayla chanting kiss, the coaches didn't really do anything about it, they just minded their business, when they kissed, I wasn't entirely sad about it because Kayla was one of my closest friends, Kayla, Amanda and I got to the point that we hald inside jokes that whenever one of the boys was on top of the other boy, we would whisper to each other that it was gay porn which we had  and I was taught to never get involved in someone's relationship, my mother taught me that and I couldn't do that to Kayla and especially Blake. A friend I made, Alice, she has been my confidante throughout my first season of Track, she pushed me and made me feel like it was okay to open up, she told me about sorts of problems that Blake and Kayla were having towards the end of Wrestling season, I didn't want to be involved or do anything worse, as much as I wanted to, even though there was this part of me that wanted to help both of them and especially Blake then, the best thing for me to do then….was stay back. One day at Track Practice, Alice and I walked up to him, she asked him,"Are you and Kayla okay?" He looked like he was about to cry and he shrugged,"I-I don't know anymore, we're trying to work it out" We both nodded and that was when I asked about the problem, she told me that Kayla was seen with another boy and it gave the impression that they were on a date, so Blake and Kayla have been trying to keep their relationship strong. 

Their relationship ended a couple weeks after this dance, Camille, Carmen, Preston, Liam, Jay and most of us were having a great time until,"Camille you have to talk to Blake, someone told him that I was going to commit suicide and now he is getting mad at me for it!" She was crying her eyes out on the dance floor and I had to walk away again, thinking if I should go for it, as in try to talk him and maybe put some sense into him and let him know that there is no way that Kayla was going to harm herself, after full solid 20 minutes, I decided to go talk to him, but when I went to the staircase because Kayla said he was there and when I went, I saw both of them….sitting together, she was wearing his cowboy hat and they were smiling, talking, working things out, I knew right then and there, as a 13 year old who knew…...he didn't need my help, so I made up the excuse to walk into the gym because most kids who show up to the dance just go to the gym to play Basketball or all sorts of things, so I stayed in there for a bit to make it seem like I went in there to play ball which I actually did. When I found out about it, I was devastated, of course I wasn't going to take it to my advantage to be with him, so I tried to comfort him, well I tried the best that I could, but then he asked for the game truth or dare.

Him going to the High School made us slightly closer, we started talking to each other every now and then, he never exactly knew what was going on with me in my 8th Grade Year, he didn't really have the right to know but he was a friend that I need to just talk, hell he doesn't even know about Cameron, when the time comes, he'll know. I got through 8th Grade just doing what I have to do and when High School rolled around, I finally got the opportunity to go to the same school and start over. When Freshman Year started, I noticed that there was Honors Band and Concert Band, so I was barely determined to make it into Honors band since the kids in my Grade kept taking the advanced parts which annoyed me. When we talked every now and then, he said he was going to try out for Basketball after Football Season, it was pretty cool to hear how he was doing and especially how  because well, I was 14 then so not everyone was determined at 14 until Sophomore Year and Junior Year opens your eyes. Well Blake and I, we talked a bit more, but not as much as we used to. He did tell me that he tried out for Basketball after Football Season, he made Varsity in both, it was really good for him, I was kinda envious of him for being in Varsity then and I always thought I could never live up to what these teachers and coaches wanted, maybe I was right then, but I still pushed myself….because of Blake. Like I said before, I tried out for Cheer and never got in during my Sophomore year, but I ended up getting in the second time in my Junior Year, Blake was kinda happy to hear about that and since then we've been in each other's lives more.

Everything started changing around Junior Year, before Caleb and I broke up, I started having feelings for him and he didn't know that I was with someone then, so he texted me asking if I can hang out with him on the weekend which was weird from my end since the only times we've talked was Pre-Season, band and online, so of course I said yes because I had this feeling it was important. So we met up during the weekend, I was at this hotel that I usually stay at where my mother works, I waited and waited. Listening to music and I thought,'If he doesn't come here, I'll just watch a movie' He did message me and said that he's on his way, I was listening to music still, the arcade was open and so I decided to play a couple games

Text Conversation

I'm here-Blake

I'm in the arcade-Sabrina

Ok-Blake

Text Conversation ended

I felt footsteps, yes you read it correctly, it was the weirdest feeling ever. I turned around and took my headphones out,"Hey"

"Hey Blake, how's it going?"

"Just needed to get out of the house, my mom was getting mad at me again, she….." He sighed almost in an angry way, I said calmly to him,"You don't have to tell me, I understand" We walked out and sat on the chairs in the hotel,"You do?"

"Yeah my mom seems to try to find reasons to yell at me, especially when I only ask and she gets mad at me, it's as if she's keeping me prisoner" He shook his head,"Yeah mine gets that way too sometimes" We talked for a bit and I got a text message from my mom around 10,"What are you doing here anyway?" He asked me out of curiosity and so I said,"My mom works here, she came here around 620am"

"Jesus, what do you do here?" 

"I have my laptop, my bags, chargers and money to keep me occupied, she usually gets off around the afternoon, if it's a busy week, she's here almost 12 hours and it gives me a chance to watch a movie" He nodded and this question popped into my head,"Why did you ask to hang out with me anyway?"

"What makes you think that?"

"We've known each other since 2014, we barely talked and only hung out at school, so this has got me curious" He adjusted himself and leaned back in his chair,"I just needed to get away, I needed to get out of the house. My dad has been trying to get into contact with me ever since I drunk dialed him, so I don't know how to talk to him"

"You drunk dialed him?" He nodded as he was playing with his watch,"Yeah I wanted to tell him how much he hurt me by leaving my mom and I, being with one woman to the next, not even bothering to talk or visit. I wanted to tell him how much I miss him and more" Hearing him talk about this made me think that he needed someone to talk to, someone different and he chose me for a reason, even if he didn't know that, I said to him,"I get that, my father was barely around, he married a doctor last year. The last time I saw him before last year was 8th Grade and before was 4th Grade because he didn't want to see me, didn't want to talk to me and so I wrote this email to him about how much he hurt me and I was only 11"

"Wow, I don't even think I could have that kind of courage at that age" I shrugged,"Just how I was, I had nothing to lose. I still don't"

"Come on you know that's not true" He tapped my finger,"I don't even know what my future holds Blake, I'm starting to think I'm destined to stay in some small town with a job with minimum wage and live in an apartment where I can barely make rent, hardly have food and enough water"

"Why won't you get a job now and save up?" I shook my head,"I can't, I don't have my social security number and my resume is barely qualified, I know that. You're one lucky bastard for having a job"

"It's not all that it's cracked up to be" I scoffed,"At least you'd have enough for college, I don't, not even sure if I'm good enough for a scholarship"

"You don't know that Sabrina, you never know what could happen. I don't even know what the hell I'm gonna do, that's just how life is. We're all expected to know what we're gonna do when we get out of High school, it seems impossible, but you know, a lot can happen in a year and it could effect you, even if you don't really know"

My friend Camille heard about Blake and I hanging out, they had a thing together but now they don't anymore, they had a nasty break off. She came to talk to me before Study Hall and I knew what this was going to be about,"You and Blake are hanging out?" I walked with her to go to a more private place and where Blake or one of his friends would hear us, I talked in a lower tone,"We're only talking, trust me, after Caleb, I don't think I'm ready to get into a relationship and Blake....he just started talking to me about what's been happening because maybe he just needed someone outside his posse"She nodded and leaned against the wall while some kids walked by us for a few seconds, she took a couple more steps closer to me,"Sabrina, do you know what kind of a boy he is?"

"Yes I do and I don't really care, you knew how I was before Caleb, we all need someone outside the loop we're all in" She began pacing herself back and forth then began fidgeting with her fingers,"But Sabrina, when him and I were a thing, he made me think that he needed someone to talk to but he ended up fucking me, what if he breaks your heart?"

"It wouldn't be the first time that someone breaks my heart, Blake could be just another boy in my life and I'm sure by this time next year when you're in College getting your Nursing degree, he'll be messing around with another girl who is too blind to see his moves"