Breaking down

After I had split the red Teleportation Shard, I was bought to the Rosa Mansion's vast and lavish living room. Unlike the outside, the interiors were not decorated by any roses whatsoever.

"Young lady, you've returned." An unfamiliar shadow appeared beside me.

I lifted my head to the tall person who had just appeared. Sandy hair, blue eyes—he wore the uniform of the dukedom's knights. I've never seen him before. Because of the incapability of the people to pay taxes, there were never quite a number of knights here—the Duke lacked the financial fund to do so.

"Ah, yes… you are?"

"I am Alaric Sebastian, young lady. I came in with the new batch of knights today. Please call me Alaric."

The knight smiled excitedly.

"Oh, is that so? I didn't know we'd be accepting new knights so soon."

"Well, the East is getting better and better each day and," Sir Alaric placed his right hand on the left side of his chest and bowed. "It's all thanks to you."

Hearing that, the uneasiness within me crept up once more as my heart started to pound loudly. His words made me remember the day I provided aether for the people.

With my trembling bandaged hand, I touched his shoulder and willed him to raise his head.

I wasn't able to keep my voice from quavering as I spoke, "N-no, I only did what I had to do, so-"

"Young lady, is that you?"

Both of us turned to the person who called out to me as she approached from a distance. She was carrying… a basket of laundry?

"Oh, Anette, I-"

I was stopped short again from my sentence as my personal maid increased her pace with much intensity. Wait, I know that look on her face. I held my breath as I braced for what was about to come. Oh dear.

"Young lady, is this person bothering you?" She came between me and the knight then lifted her chin tauntingly. "Just tell me and I'll-"

"Hit me with a basket of laundry?" Sir Alaric smiled in a playful manner while narrowing his eyes at the maid. "Try me."

I saw Anette's shoulders twitch, a sign that she was already pissed.

He's making the situation worse. I shook my head and sighed. "Calm down, Anette. Sir Alaric and I only talked for a bit."

"Hear that, Anette?" The knight peeked at me before continuing. "You've got a pretty anxious maid right here, young lady."

'Tell me about it.' I wanted to say, but I wasn't up for jokes.

"Who gave you permission to call me by my name, you bastard?"

"What, you're mad because I called you 'pretty'?"

I let out a whistle. You're really asking for it, you foolish knight.

Anette let out a groan and shoved the basket to Sir Alaric's chest. The knight let out an "oomph-" and caught it just in time but his arms were dragged to the floor. "How heavy is this thing?!"

My maid did not answer and only turned to me. "You've had a long day, young lady. I'll escort you to your room."

"Alright, thanks."

Anette smiled sweetly, her brown locks fell into soft curls upon her pinkish cheeks.

"Where am I supposed to take this?" The poor knight called out from a few distances behind us. "Hey!"

I looked back to him and shot him an apologetic glare.

I was actually thankful to Anette for saving me from that awkward conversation. Sir Alaric seemed kind but I still felt uncomfortable.

"You haven't been pushing yourself too hard while working, haven't you?" I asked but kept my gaze ahead.

The maid turned to me— I could feel that she wasn't expecting my question.

"Oh young lady, I should be the one to ask you that." Her tone was full of worry.

"I'm fine." I replied even though I didn't truly believe it.

"You can always ask me for help young lady, even the other maids—we'll come to you whenever you need us."

"Yeah, I can count on them in dressing me up."

Anette chuckled. "They're good girls."

I agreed silently as we take up the stairs to the second floor's west wing where my room was located.

***

I was in desperate need for an afternoon nap. Yet no matter how I had acknowledged the numbing limbs brought about by the exhausting day, the scenes from earlier kept playing in my mind.

I gave up from hoping for sleep to come to me and walked to the huge mirror.

I stared at the girl in the mirror—ghostly white hair, light blue eyes that was almost translucent. I stare and stare at my reflection in the mirror but all I could see was a black-haired girl with sunken cheeks upon her pale face—the real me. Along with the dreaded scenes that kept replaying and the unwanted voices echoing in my head, my chest gradually felt heavier.

'We've never seen such a phenomena like it before, you are the first…'

'You're the key to prevent the king of Kairos from stealing Asiana's throne.'

'How else would you explain her allergies then?'

'The Pure Light inside her is eating her up!'

'She's Sol herself…'

I shook the faces, the visions away but they keep clawing their way back. Until a sob finally broke out… and another and another—I kept crying as I stood in front of the mirror with its size I am still not used to.

Along my fit of cries, I shouted and slammed a fist into the mirror. The impact made a large crack and on it were smudges of red. Blood was already dripping from my hands. But why? Why can't I still get enough of it? I punched the mirror again. I felt the satisfying sensation and craved for more. I did it again, again, again and again. It wasn't enough. I saw my tear-filled face, my shaking lips, and my trembling shoulders that took deep and heavy breaths—reflected into the mirror that was now already broken, far from being fixed.

Once again, I let out a shriek—desperate to remove this choking feeling. I picked up empty porcelain vases and smashed them into the wall. I walked to the cabinet, opened it, and threw whatever glass figurines I could throw. As I threw and threw, I just kept shouting and shouting. Again, why? Why won't this feeling inside me ever be clenched? I wanted to throw more objects but there was nothing left. I felt bad for destroying things I didn't own but I couldn't stop myself.

I raised my bloodied hands to my head and grabbed my hair. Tears just kept streaming as I sat down on the cold floor.

Then the door flew open. I didn't bother to look who it was.

"W-what happened here…?" Annete's voice, she let out a panicked gasp. "Young lady! A-a-are you alright?"

I heard rushed footsteps coming to me, half-running and half-walking.

But as the person crouched down and embraced me, I realized that it wasn't my personal maid. I felt the cold hands that wrapped around me—a silver strand of hair was visible from my blurry sight. I looked up to the snow-white face of the boy who hugged me.

"Sein…" My voice was shaky from all the screaming.

"Shhh, I'm here…I'm here… it's fine now. Cry all you want. Just let it all out, okay?" He tells me as he sweeps his hand gently on my back.

Because of his gesture, a sob broke out once again. I cried more as I clung to his chest while his other hand touched the back of my head comfortably.

A little while later and I had felt myself calm down, my breathing becoming more stable and was slowly getting back to normal.

Sein's hands went to my shoulders as he slowly separated our bodies.

"You okay?"

I nodded then looked down. I felt a blush appearing on my face.

He guided me to my bed and helped me sit down. Sein turned to Anette who was covering her mouth and was about to tear up.

"Could you get me something to wipe the blood, please?"

"Y-yes, right away, young master."

The maid scurried to the door. Sein sat beside me. He turned to me and lifted his fingers to swipe the strands of hair that covered my face. His touch felt cold on my skin.

"I'm not going to ask you anything, don't worry." He smiled gently as he put down his hands. "All you need to do is rest."

I only nodded as I focused my gaze on my feet.

"Hey." The boy was now kneeling on the floor on one knee. He lifted his gaze— his gray eyes looked directly at mine. "You don't have to be embarrassed about it. Everyone can be weak sometimes."

Again, I just nodded. Then he smiled in a way that bought a chill upon my skin.

Sein stood as the door opened to Anette bringing a basin of water along with towels and bandages.

"Thanks." The young man said as he received the things he had asked for. "I know a bit of healing magic so you can rest easy."

Anette let out a sigh of relief. I can't look at her in the eyes. Earlier, I had asked her if she was working herself too hard. Now, I just gave her more work. I wanted to slap myself so badly.

"Th-then I shall excuse myself, young master…" Anette looked skeptical when I was finally able to look at her. "Young lady…"

I tried to lift my lips. "It's fine."

Anette sighed and closed her eyes before bowing to leave. I'll apologize to her later.

Sein had placed a chair in front of me. I watched him sit. His expression was light and gentle as the first snow that falls. I saw his pearly-white hand produce a glowing gray color as it hovered above my wounds—the other hand held mine in place. Again, I felt the cold sensation prick my skin. It didn't hurt but rather it was quite soothing.

After he was done, he wiped all the blood with a wet towel. I'd wanted to insist on doing it myself but something kept me from doing so.

While watching him, I felt my eyelids becoming heavy. I forced them to open but sleepiness was already taking over me. Sein's kind gestures eventually lulled me into slumber.