" Ask Jojo, I know you want to," I said rolling my eyes, clicking on a website in front of my laptop. So let me rewind, Joanne showed up here a few minutes ago. She stopped to say hi { Although, I can tell she wants to ask how my therapy session went. It's killing her inside but she also doesn't want to upset me. How thoughtful}
" Pheww, I thought I was going to die from curiosity. So how did it go? Your therapy session I mean" Her eyes twinkled with delight and she was bouncing on the chair, waiting for an answer like a happy little child. Joanne had always been the happier one, delightful and excited. Sometimes naughty but all in all the better sister. Jojo grew up but the little child in her will always be alive.
" You are such a child Joanne" I teased.
" Pfft, I'm older than you"
" Age doesn't define your maturity ya know?" I saw that somewhere on the internet. What better time to use it than against your sister?
" Shut up and answer the question" She facepalmed. I saw her mouth secretly curve into a smile. She was enjoying this, it had been long since we had a light conversation.
" It went well. It was kinda uneasy at first but I survived" I cringed remembering events from my session. It was harder than I had expected. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't like I had expected to have a lovely time where we get to know each other or anything...I just hadn't expected to feel that nervous or uneasy. I guess, it wasn't supposed to be smooth, but shouldn't have been that bumpy... If that makes sense.
" You are cringing, Not so tremendous was it?"
" Nope," I replied, popping the P. I wanted to jump out of the window I don't think I'll call it terrific. I skipped out that part, we don't want Jojo to think I'm suicidal now, do we?
" It wouldn't get easier but you have to be strong. There'll come a time when talking about those things would not hurt you as they used to. It would just be a distant memory..." Can things like that become a distant memory?
" You think?" That time looks like it's forever away. The pain and hurt is just too raw.
" I know" She jumped out of the chair and wrapped me in a side hug.
" K"
" Did you tell him everything?"
" Nope" I'm not ready to do that yet. There'll still be plenty of sessions.
" Well.... There's still more time to do that. No need to rush anything."
" Hope you didn't allow your thoughts to consume you?"
" I zoned out, twice I think. But we both know I can't control my racing thoughts." I've always had issues with my thoughts. I often allowed my mind to take the lead.
" Got assignments.?"
" Yup. I'm job hunting. I'll like to continue now" I stared at my laptop screen completely forgetting her before...
" I can help you" She sat beside me and moved my laptop away till it faced her.
" It's my assignment Jojo" I reminded her collecting it back. It took me 3 days after the therapy session to settle down and start looking for a job. So far, I've come across two publishing houses willing to hire. I recognized R&C from one of the ads. It was one of the biggest publishing houses in California. Most best-selling authors had their books vetted and published by R&C. Nobody knew what the R&C stands for but it was pretty catchy so they went with it. I doubted they'll want to hire a noob like me but I sent in my résumé regardless. I had zero experience unless I wanted to work as an office manager or something and that was so not part of the plan.
" So, does this mean you'll actually leave your house and interact with people?" She skeptically asked.
" I'm getting a job that will enable me to work from home. Hence, canceling human interaction" That's too much a huge thing to get over. At least, I was willing to work now. Little by little....
" OK fine, whatever. I'm just super happy that you are voluntarily doing this. Your therapist is a miracle worker." I shook my head at her words. I barely know the guy and I doubted that your therapist becomes your best friend after the first session.
" Technically, it's involuntary. It's my assignment" I focused on the list of possible ads in front of me. I need to apply for as many jobs as possible before my next appointment. It would show that I actually put in the effort.
" Don't you have somewhere to go to?" I asked my sister when I got tired of her gaping at me like I saw some sort of rocket science experiment. This was a lot to take on, maybe that rebranding was working after all.
" Yea, I'm going to pick up Isla. My friend Mandy was babysitting for me. I promised to pick her up on my way back" She grabbed her stuff and headed towards the front door. Isla was Jojo and Ray's three years old daughter.
" And Annie, don't think about it too much" Joanne whispered before walking out, closing the door behind her. I heard her car pull out of the driveway before thought about what she said I shouldn't. Joanne never brought Isla close to me, not after since I lost my child. She feels like she's going to trigger some memories and get me really upset. Honestly, I couldn't promise that I wouldn't get upset. It just feels sad to know that Isla can't hang out with her aunty because her presence might disturb me. I barely know the little girl, during family occasions I see her around but I wouldn't stop by to play. It wasn't just Isla, but other little children too. Maybe someday, I would be able to hold Isla without thinking about the child I lost.