Chapter Ten - For You

"Kate."

"Hey, Lil, what's up? I just changed the lock on the front door, and I even spiffed the place up a bit. It's still pretty dreary and dusty around here, though."

Lilly heard her sister's voice, clear and bright—and mildly apologetic—through the line. She pulled the phone from her ear and stared at the screen; the full five bars were illuminated. Damn it. Just this once, why couldn't the cell service in Florida be spotty? You'd think with the almost-daily rain showers and weekly storms, the cell towers would have a hard time maintaining the status quo, but no such luck. So far, call quality had been crystal clear during both of the awkward phone calls she'd had to make. Well, at least her own sister probably wouldn't yell at her. Much.

"Lilly?"

She started at the muffled voice on the other end of the line and clapped the phone back to her ear in time to hear her Kate ask, "So, when you coming home?"

"Uh…" This was it, the moment of truth. She tucked her legs beneath her on the overstuffed floral-print sofa, turned her face away from the concern in her cousin Alexandra's eyes, gripped the phone tight and, for a moment, clung to Kate's voice like she would have in the old days.

"Lilly? Are you okay?"

No. And right now, she didn't feel like she'd ever be okay again. She took a deep breath, abruptly untucking her legs and scooting to the edge of the sofa. "I'm fine." She gulped another mouthful of humid, peaches-and-brown sugar-scented air and closed her eyes. "But I'm not coming back."

Silence. Then, "What do you mean, you aren't coming back? This is your home, too. I know I haven't exactly been positive about the place, but it's not that bad and—"

"Stop it, Kate!" She was pacing now. "Just—stop it, okay? Quit apologizing for everything." Lilly's eyes began to sting, and she blinked hard against the moisture she knew lurked not far behind. She heard her sister take a deep breath and she fought the urge to lash out and tell her to quit calling Aunt Viola's house "home." Home was back in Georgia. A rental house that, as of last week, had become "home" to another family on a budget.

The first teardrop slid from the corner of her eye, and she brushed it away with shaking fingers.

"Okay … so, what's going on? You know what? Don't worry about it. Are you still with Alexandra? I'm coming to get you, and we can sort everything out in a few minutes. You're just having cold feet. I'll be there in twenty, okay?" Kate prattled, a clear sign she was nervous.

"I—" Lilly broke off, swallowed and inhaled again, buoyed somewhat by the sugary warmth of her cousin's house. She had to pull it together. Kate would never believe her like this. "No. Don't drive to Alexandra's," she said, relieved that she didn't sound nearly as shaky as she felt. "I'm not there anymore and I'm not coming … home, Kate." Her voice was under control now and she only stumbled a little bit over the word. "This morning, I…"

"You what…? What happened this morning?" Kate asked, the first stirring of dread beginning to thread through her voice.

Just do it. Say it. Blurt it out and be done with it. "I got married this morning."

Lilly's gaze strayed to the suspiciously bare finger on her left hand. Inside, she cringed as her sister's ragged breathing filled her ear. God, she didn't want to hurt her. Kate was the absolute last person who deserved to be hurt, but Lilly had been right; her fake marriage was the only way her sister would willingly let go without a fight.

"What—what did you just say?" Kate gasped, picking up steam and finding her voice along the way. "Are you telling me you got MARRIED? This morning? Are you serious? Is that what you're telling me right now?" she demanded.

Lilly opened her mouth, but Kate rushed on without giving her a chance to respond.

"You haven't even been dating anyone. How? How could you do this?" Kate sputtered. "Without even telling me?"

She stopped pacing and stared helplessly at a wide-eyed Alexandra, who was quick to pick up a large black-and-silver remote and switch off the television. A shadow filled the doorway, paused, and backtracked to stare into the living room. Lilly met her aunt Carrie's curious gaze and swallowed, gripped the phone a little tighter.

"Didn't you think I would want to be there?" Kate was saying now. "How could you do this, Lilly?"

"I'm sorry," she choked, a tear falling freely and splashing onto her bare leg. She swiped shaking fingers over her thigh, and the weight of her guilt threatened to crush her. "It just happened."

Kate was silent on the other end of the line, then, "Oh, my God—you're pregnant, aren't you? Who did this to you? Who is he?" she demanded, zeroing in on Lilly's imaginary groom, not unlike a dog with a bone.

"No! I'm not pregnant. His name is Chad. We met in Georgia and we've been seeing each other. I'm sorry I never told you. I didn't … I just … didn't think you'd approve. That you would say I'm too young." She recited the explanation she'd been practicing ever since crossing the Florida state line two days ago.

"You are too damn young! What were you thinking?"

"I—"

"Where is he? Put this Chad on the phone," she said, twisting the name with the same inflection one might use for "bird flu" or "genital warts." There was real fire in Kate's voice, and Lilly could picture her sister crossing her arms over her chest, could practically see her eyes narrowing.

"He's in the car, Kate. We only stopped so that I could call you and tell you I'm okay. Everything's okay."

"Okay? Okay??"

Right. Maybe that wasn't the best word for their current situation.

"What do you mean you only stopped long enough to call me. Where are you?" Kate asked, her voice faltering as the full implications of Lilly's statement hit her.

"We're headed north."

"Where?" Kate pressed.

"Um, probably somewhere near Reno."

"Nevada!" Kate exploded. "What are you thinking?" she repeated, sounding like she was on the verge of hyperventilating. "You're supposed to start classes in less than two weeks."

"Well, yeah, but—"

"So, okay, you're m-married now. Okay, now what? What about your plans? You wanted to go to school. Since your sixteenth birthday, you've been talking about becoming a nurse. What happened to those plans?"

Lilly swallowed, and the fingers of her free hand curled into a tight fist. Her sister had just managed to hit a major nerve. "I'm still going to go to school—next semester."

"But—"

"Kate, look…" She inhaled the sweet, fruit-laden air and felt her stomach lurch in response now. "It's done. Chad and I are in love, and I wish you would support me in this."

"I will always back you up. Always. But you are making a mistake," Kate warned.

"But it's my mistake to make. Mine and … Chad's." She lowered her gaze to her toes, unpainted and slightly dirty from kicking around the trails behind Alexandra's house. Worn sandals that had started out as bright orange slapped the floor as she rose from the couch and pushed against the front door. The screen banged shut behind her.

"What was that?"

"What?" Her eyes went wide.

"That noise."

"I didn't hear anything," she said, raising her voice a little to be heard over the rain and the wind that was steadily picking up.

"Lilly, I wish…"

"I've got to go, okay? Chad's waiting. But, um, I thought that maybe you could come with me." Here was the important part of her plan, the true prize she kept her eye on. She forced herself to speak slowly, willing the words to not simply rush out in a desperate torrent. "I mean, if you want to. I thought you could sell the house and come to Reno with us. You could stay with me—with us. If you want to."

"You want me to live with you and Chad?" Kate's voice was filled with disbelief.

"We can rent a duplex or something. We'll figure it out, but yeah. Yeah, I do." Lilly swiped at her cheek.

"Oh," Kate breathed. "Well." She paused for several long, tense moments. "Okay."

"You'll sell the house? We'll start over, then?"

"It looks like you've already started over," she retorted, then sighed. "Yes, I'll put the house on the market. Are you sure about … all of this?"

"I'm sure." Lilly's words held a conviction that was at once bone deep and strangely terrifying. She'd never been more sure of anything in her life, and yet nothing was certain. She felt like she was kneeling on a raft and using a jagged blade to saw through the rope that anchored her to the dock. Behind her, the ocean waited, big and vast and eerily silent. In the next instant, she'd ripped through the final threads. "This is what I want, Kate."

"I'll call the realtor first thing in the morning. I'll need to give notice at the hospital, probably two weeks. At least," she muttered. "Will you be all right until then?"

"Yes. I'll call you when we get to Reno, and I'll have an address then. Probably just a hotel, but…"

"Don't worry, I'll be out there by the end of the month, and we'll get a more permanent place. It's going to be okay. We can fix this."

"There's nothing to fix," she lied, her tone softer now.

"Uh-huh. Do you need anything right now? I mean … anything?" Kate asked, her voice cracking a little at the end.

"No. I have to go. I'll text you tonight."

"Lilly—"

"I love you," she blurted, snapping the phone shut a moment later.

The world continued to spin. The rain still fell in ugly gray sheets. Her life was still a hot mess. She blinked back the fresh wave of tears that threatened, reminded herself this was only temporary. But would Kate ever forgive her for this deception? For manipulating her like this? She sighed. The time for reflection was about fifteen minutes past.

"Lilly?" Alexandra poked her head out from inside the house.

She turned and glanced at her cousin.

"It's raining." The normally perky blonde was uncharacteristically cautious as she eyed Lilly.

"Yeah." She tried for a smile. "I just got off the phone with Kate," she said for lack of anything more profound to point out at the moment.

"Yeah … how did it go?"

She shrugged. "It went. She's selling the house and meeting me at the end of the month."

Alex's riotous golden curls bobbed. "Good, so the plan worked."

Lilly nodded, heading back into the house when her cousin held the screen door open and moved aside to let her pass.

Aunt Carrie was waiting for them in the kitchen. "Does someone want to fill me in on what just happened?" Her china-blue eyes filled with concern as she pulled out a pair of glazed pine bar stools and motioned for both girls to sit. She tucked a chunk of light brown hair behind Lilly's ear, her fingers grazing one of the beaded silver hoops in her niece's ear. "I can't believe how you've changed. You and Alex are all grown up now." She slid mugs of cocoa and plates of warm peach pie in front of the girls. "What's wrong, Lilly Ann?" she finally murmured, taking a seat at the opposite end of the white marble kitchen island.

She met her cousin's wide blue gaze, then focused her own gray-green eyes on Aunt Carrie. "You've talked to Kate since Aunt Viola passed away?"

"Only for a few minutes at the funeral, and once, about a week before the two of you left Georgia. I know Viola left the house to you girls."

Lilly's expression must have betrayed something of her feelings, because her aunt peered closely at her.

"That was good news, right? From what Kate said, some of the pressure was off. She was hoping to finally get on her feet and save some money for the two of you. Is … that not the case?" Aunt Carrie's brow furrowed when Lilly looked away.

She jerked her head in some semblance of a nod. "But I couldn't let her do it. I can't let her—" She inhaled and placed her palms flat on the smooth, cool marble in front of her, on either side of her mug and plate. "It's too much. Kate can't stay in that house."

When her aunt only stared at her, she took a fortifying sip of cocoa and sighed. "That house does not hold good memories for Kate," she began, glancing at both of the kitchen's other occupants, even though she'd already confessed all of this to Alexandra. And, just like last night, she was careful of how much she revealed. But Aunt Carrie immediately drew her own conclusions.

"It has to do with your uncle Stan, doesn't it?" Carrie tutted, full of sympathy. "You girls used to visit every summer, until…" She shook her head.

"You think this is about Viola's husband committing suicide?" Lilly asked, refusing to refer to Stan as an uncle, even now. Her memories of him were dim, faded with time, just snatches of conversation and a sandy blond mustache that twitched up in one corner when he smiled. She couldn't even clearly recall his face, but she remembered that smile. She hated it. She hated him, even ten years later, for the harm he'd inflicted upon her sister.

"I heard that Kate found him hanging, but I never—it must have been awful."

Lilly frowned. "Kate didn't find his body. Viola did." She took a deep breath. "They'd come home one evening, and Viola was the first one in the house. He was swinging from a plant hook in the front parlor, er, from a rope, you know what I mean," she said awkwardly and took another sip. "Viola covered Kate's eyes and got her back outside in a hurry. Or so I'm told. That was the summer I got the measles, and I'd stayed home with Mama while Kate was sent here for the usual visit with Aunt Viola and Stan. She was eight that year, I think. Aunt Carrie, please promise me this doesn't go any further than right here, right now."

"Lilly…?" Her aunt leaned forward. "What are you trying to say?"

"Stan wasn't what anyone thought. After he died, Mama came here and stayed to help Aunt Viola clean out his things. They were boxing his clothes and books, stuff they planned to donate to Goodwill, and they found pictures of Kate."

"What do you mean pictures of Kate?" Carrie raised a hand to her chest. Beside Lilly, Alexandra shifted uncomfortably on a stool.

"Pictures of her at school, at the park, pictures of the two of us walking home from school. He had cut me out of all the photographs. There were even shots of Kate's bedroom, of her in bed sleeping, taken through the gap in the curtains."

"Oh dear Lord," Carrie gasped. "How did he—"

"He'd been lying to Aunt Viola. There were never any business trips. Stan became obsessed with my sister. Apparently, he'd been stalking her for years."

"Dear Lord," Carrie repeated and buried her face in her hands. Her head snapped up a moment later. "Was he abusing her? Oh God, he did, didn't he? What did he do to her? Oh, honey, did he hurt you, too?" She turned stricken eyes to her own daughter. "Alex?"

"No, Mom. He never hurt me."

"He never did anything to me, either." Lilly pushed her plate aside. "He didn't exactly hurt Kate, either, not really."

"What do you mean?"

"He didn't do—what you're thinking. Don't get me wrong, there's no doubt in my mind he would have, eventually. But Mama said Kate denied that he'd touched her."

"But he could have." Carrie sighed.

"Maybe," Lilly acknowledged. "Mama seemed to take Kate at her word. But … he scared Kate."

"How so?"

"I'm not sure. If Mama knew, she didn't tell me that part of it, but Kate didn't speak at all for weeks after that visit. Not one word. Something had her spooked, bad. My sister spent months looking over her shoulder and jumping at shadows." Her mouth tightened into a grim line. "So, now you know why I can't let her live in that house. She doesn't think I know what happened all those years ago. But Mama told me everything the summer I turned fourteen. I'd always asked why we never went back to Florida, why you and Alexandra and Uncle Mark came to see us every couple of years instead. Why Aunt Viola hadn't been up to see us in years."

"After Stan killed himself, Viola rarely left the house," Carrie murmured.

Lilly nodded. "That's what Mama said, too. She'd always made excuses, but that year, she finally told me what had happened when Kate and I were kids. I don't know why she chose to open up then. She was sick by that time, so maybe she figured it was her last chance to tell me." She chipped at her nail polish before meeting her aunt's gaze again. "I told my sister I eloped today. And that I'm on my way to Nevada. So, now she's selling the house and getting a place with me at the end of the month."

"Oh, Lilly, tell me you didn't—"

"No, of course not. And I'm not really going to Nevada."

"You bet you're not. You will stay right here with us." Carrie sniffed and came around the counter to envelop her niece in a fierce hug.

"Thanks." Lilly returned the embrace and began to feel a little calmer, a shade stronger. "But I can't stay here. I can't take the chance of running into Kate in town. And what if she ends up stopping here for a visit?"

"Then what are you going to do?"

"Alexandra's driving me to Alabama. I'm staying with Aunt Sylvia for a few weeks, until Kate is free."

"And then you'll have to come clean with her," Carrie mused. "Are you sure it wouldn't have been simpler to be straightforward with her?"

Lilly shook her head. "My sister has spent her entire life taking care of everyone else. And she can't help it, but she's stubborn. She's sacrificed so much for me already. Now it's time for someone to look out for Kate, for a change."